Jan 04, 2005 21:56
so today was an ok day, nothing special..... ummm... actually it was pretty bad, it had its good parts but nwo that i think of it. a lot of stuff bothered me... ok so this morning i was sitting next to wesley and i really wanted to hug him and he was reading so i was like w/e but i really wanted a hug or something and then alex came over and i didn't want hugs n kisses from him i wanted it from wesley! so i got mad n stuff, which i guess i shoudln't have but i did.... and then idk it seems that during the day he will see me and act like he doesn't want to be seen with me.. or walk with me or something.. i could be wrong but thats how i feel... and then today at lunch he was sitting across from me and i really wanted to sit next to him, but steven was sitting 2 seats down and i hate sitting inbetween people, n it looked like they were talking n stuff so i thought that it would be rude, and THEN steven left... and there was no1 there just me and wesley and im still sitting across from him and i didn't move b cuz i guess i was nervous and kinda didn't kno what to do, i guess you can say.. or something like that...and then i was liek "can i bite you" and i really didn't really want to bite him, i mean i did.. but i really wanted to kiss him, but then he was like "NO, its bad luck" so i just walked away and went to class.... and then the whole act like he doesn't want to be near me thing went on for the rest of the day... and he had a home game agaisn't wilton i think or something around 7:30 **i think** and i wanted to go, but i couldn't b cuz i had a dance rehersal from 6-9pm....and then at dance i was soOo frustrated.... b cuz i knew that i could dance soOo much better! and we were being taped n stuff......n idk i was just soOo off... turns n stuff that normally i would nail, i couldn't and they arn't difficult, but idk what it was.. so then i started to push my self and to dance harder which is a good thing but not a great idea b cuz you can start to lose your technique and once that is gone then yoru screwed, so i did that, and i still wasn't dancing right and it was pissing me off.. and then miss jennifer coreographed a combo to "lose my breath" (which im getting sick of the song btw).. and there was this one thing that i just coudln't do, and i didn't want to jump too high b cuz i was hitting the ceiling n stuff and the lights and it was just driving me CRAZY.... and well i couldn't do it..... and then since the class is big, we were divided into two groups so that we can have more room n stuff.... and when the first group was dancing went in the corner and just started crying.... and then when it was my turn to dance i still couldn't get it, i was doing everything else just about right except for that one part, so i skipped it a couple of times... and then around 8:30 i kinda got it.. but i still didn't like the way i was doing it.. and then miss jennifer made me do the WHOLE dance by myself which i would normally love! and i did, and i nailed just about everything except i added something but accident but it worked, and then miss jennifer made me feel better when she said that she thinks that im a great dancer b cuz i don't dance "safe" b cuz i just basically let myself go most of the technique n stuff i get rid of... and she said that i dance from the heart and she likes that, so after that i felt better and was dancing better... but in the begining with the dance that we are performing for dance fest... i was bad, and i think 2morrow im going to go to the Y, and use the dance studio and just dance b cuz i need to work on it.. badly.... so im going to do that.. also in the dance in the begining my spot kinda was taken and kinda not, b cuz i am center but im second row off center i guess you can say... like there is a window, which is fine but i really REALLY wanted center stage b cuz that is where i belong.. ya kno? but its ok, b cuz later on in the dance im first row off-center. and its good b cuz the girl that is center is like 20 something, she is a dance teacher and she is a professional dancer so she deserves it.. oh and then after class i felt bad that i wasn't at wesley's game so i called him n stuff, and then he said that he had to go and eat, so im going to see if he calls me back?? i don't think he will, b cuz he never calls me.. but we'll see.. im going to go and take a shower and then go into my room n stuff, and just chill for a lil, and then go to sleep.. ttyl xoxo
** i guess this was a long entry right** lol xoxoxo