...i...d...k...w o w..i got a lil headach
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: jackie i made an uh oh
fairy x fantasy: what?
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: well. u kno wesley's xanga thing
fairy x fantasy: yes...
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: well i decided to go back a lil and c what and how he was thinking when we recently broke up
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and i read this thing about sam
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and now i can't stop crying
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and i also read what he thought of lindsay dubendover [?]
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and i can't stop crying b cuz of that
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and all this other stuff that he thought
fairy x fantasy: aww
fairy x fantasy: im sorry :/ i dont know what to tell you
fairy x fantasy: im sure he doesnt think the same now
fairy x fantasy: he loves you
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: i kno but i mean hwo do i know that.. b cuz he was really.. REALLY likin this "lindsay "girl like in MAY!! and then **i think**he only started to get insanely intrested in me.. *deleted*I... and when *deleted*
fairy x fantasy: :/
fairy x fantasy: you just have to think positive, try not to think of the worst
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: ... and i questioned it b4.. but then i was like... w/e b cuz i want to be with him *deleted*
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and me reading everything that he said on his xanga reminds me of how i felt
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and how much pain he put me threw and if im willing to do that again, if i ever get the chance
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: ... and i meann.. *deleted*
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and when im with him i don't think of ne of that stuff except "when he is going to ksis me again" thats it....
fairy x fantasy: i dont know what to tell you poopy
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: or "whens the rite time to hold his hand?" or. o looky he touched me... or.. "now is the perfect time to bite him and say i win..."
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and me just thinking of how much i love him and.. idk its just all messed up.. i just don't know what to do.. and its driving me crazy b cuz i want to be with him..honestly i do......... but i mean.. he has no idea how much he hurt me and i idn't realize how much he hurt me b cuz i know that every day in skool i would have to pretedn like im happy and i just got used to that and kinda picked up on it.. so i havn't really healed from the amount of pain n stuff.. i just kinda... bottled it up..and me reading all of this.. is breaking that bottle that i worked to hard to keep closed...and when i with him that bottle doesn't exsist... and when im not it does and i question what im doing
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: like now
fairy x fantasy: i know what your staying, but maybe you should tell him all this, i mean im not telling you to, but with me i bottle things up too that i dont want to deal with and they find there ways to get out little by little trust me, but the way i see it why not just let everything out your way and not keep suffering trying to keep it all in because it will eventually get out, just the matter of how and what you do about it, ya know, if that makes any sence
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: i mean like.. what am i doing????????? should i b doing what im doing? should i go to mets games and stuff? should i kiss him? sit next to him?... i love him to death, and i always will and i want to be with him and i want to love him i don't want to stop loving him................................... idk i have a whole summer to think about this stuff........i just love him soo much.. and i really REALLY don't want to get hurt like that ever again.. by ne 1!!!.. and i understand what ur saying... i guess ill let what happens happen... i mean a while ago i even asked God to help me stop loving him and to make sure that wesley's happy... and i still havn't stopped loving him... He wouldn't let me stop loving him
fairy x fantasy: but i think if you tell him about all this youll get it out and maybe not make you feel better right away, it takes time to accually realize it made things better, but it really does and youll realize that getting it all out will evencually over time make you feel better
fairy x fantasy: well then maybe your ment to love him
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: yeah, ur rite
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: may b
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: [?]::confusion::[?]
fairy x fantasy: and if you talk to him about it, im sure if he really does love you hell listen and try to understand you and try to work things out ya know
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: i kno.. but im going away on monday
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: ... and i don't want him to get mad or dissapointed or ne of those things
fairy x fantasy: and if he loves you like he says i sure he wouldnt want to hurt the one he loves again, but you should tell him how much he did hurt you so hes awair and can do what he thinks it right for you guys
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: i kno..but i don't want to hurt him either... n stuff
fairy x fantasy: im sure he will be understanding
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: *deep breaths*...yeaaa...i should have never read all of that..i really REALLY wish i hadn't
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: im too nosey
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: lol
fairy x fantasy: well i think if you just tell him how you feel it will be ok, its not like your meaning to hurt him or anything but if you do not purpusly i think hell know that but hey if that hurts him maybe he can just imagine how much he hurt you
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: i kno but im sure that he was hurt too.. ya kno.. so i mean im not going to pretend like i was the only one hurting threw this whole thing..*altho for a while i thought that i was the only one**... i honestly thought i was gonna die
fairy x fantasy: well i dont know baby poo
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: ...and there where times when i wanted to..which is the scary part
fairy x fantasy: i hope you figure things out alittle bit but i have to go now, good luck and you can call me anything kkk
fairy x fantasy: love you
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: luv u 2! thanks a lot
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: ttyl! xoxo
fairy x fantasy: bye
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx:
fairy x fantasy: no problem
fairy x fantasy: later aligator!
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: c ya
fairy x fantasy signed off at 11:54:02 PM.
fairy x fantasy: what?
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: well. u kno wesley's xanga thing
fairy x fantasy: yes...
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: well i decided to go back a lil and c what and how he was thinking when we recently broke up
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and i read this thing about sam
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and now i can't stop crying
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and i also read what he thought of lindsay dubendover [?]
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and i can't stop crying b cuz of that
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and all this other stuff that he thought
fairy x fantasy: aww
fairy x fantasy: im sorry :/ i dont know what to tell you
fairy x fantasy: im sure he doesnt think the same now
fairy x fantasy: he loves you
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: i kno but i mean hwo do i know that.. b cuz he was really.. REALLY likin this "lindsay "girl like in MAY!! and then **i think**he only started to get insanely intrested in me.. *deleted*I... and when *deleted*
fairy x fantasy: :/
fairy x fantasy: you just have to think positive, try not to think of the worst
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: ... and i questioned it b4.. but then i was like... w/e b cuz i want to be with him *deleted*
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and me reading everything that he said on his xanga reminds me of how i felt
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and how much pain he put me threw and if im willing to do that again, if i ever get the chance
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: ... and i meann.. *deleted*
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and when im with him i don't think of ne of that stuff except "when he is going to ksis me again" thats it....
fairy x fantasy: i dont know what to tell you poopy
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: or "whens the rite time to hold his hand?" or. o looky he touched me... or.. "now is the perfect time to bite him and say i win..."
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: and me just thinking of how much i love him and.. idk its just all messed up.. i just don't know what to do.. and its driving me crazy b cuz i want to be with him..honestly i do......... but i mean.. he has no idea how much he hurt me and i idn't realize how much he hurt me b cuz i know that every day in skool i would have to pretedn like im happy and i just got used to that and kinda picked up on it.. so i havn't really healed from the amount of pain n stuff.. i just kinda... bottled it up..and me reading all of this.. is breaking that bottle that i worked to hard to keep closed...and when i with him that bottle doesn't exsist... and when im not it does and i question what im doing
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: like now
fairy x fantasy: i know what your staying, but maybe you should tell him all this, i mean im not telling you to, but with me i bottle things up too that i dont want to deal with and they find there ways to get out little by little trust me, but the way i see it why not just let everything out your way and not keep suffering trying to keep it all in because it will eventually get out, just the matter of how and what you do about it, ya know, if that makes any sence
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: i mean like.. what am i doing????????? should i b doing what im doing? should i go to mets games and stuff? should i kiss him? sit next to him?... i love him to death, and i always will and i want to be with him and i want to love him i don't want to stop loving him................................... idk i have a whole summer to think about this stuff........i just love him soo much.. and i really REALLY don't want to get hurt like that ever again.. by ne 1!!!.. and i understand what ur saying... i guess ill let what happens happen... i mean a while ago i even asked God to help me stop loving him and to make sure that wesley's happy... and i still havn't stopped loving him... He wouldn't let me stop loving him
fairy x fantasy: but i think if you tell him about all this youll get it out and maybe not make you feel better right away, it takes time to accually realize it made things better, but it really does and youll realize that getting it all out will evencually over time make you feel better
fairy x fantasy: well then maybe your ment to love him
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: yeah, ur rite
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: may b
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: [?]::confusion::[?]
fairy x fantasy: and if you talk to him about it, im sure if he really does love you hell listen and try to understand you and try to work things out ya know
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: i kno.. but im going away on monday
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: ... and i don't want him to get mad or dissapointed or ne of those things
fairy x fantasy: and if he loves you like he says i sure he wouldnt want to hurt the one he loves again, but you should tell him how much he did hurt you so hes awair and can do what he thinks it right for you guys
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: i kno..but i don't want to hurt him either... n stuff
fairy x fantasy: im sure he will be understanding
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: *deep breaths*...yeaaa...i should have never read all of that..i really REALLY wish i hadn't
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: im too nosey
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: lol
fairy x fantasy: well i think if you just tell him how you feel it will be ok, its not like your meaning to hurt him or anything but if you do not purpusly i think hell know that but hey if that hurts him maybe he can just imagine how much he hurt you
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: i kno but im sure that he was hurt too.. ya kno.. so i mean im not going to pretend like i was the only one hurting threw this whole thing..*altho for a while i thought that i was the only one**... i honestly thought i was gonna die
fairy x fantasy: well i dont know baby poo
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: ...and there where times when i wanted to..which is the scary part
fairy x fantasy: i hope you figure things out alittle bit but i have to go now, good luck and you can call me anything kkk
fairy x fantasy: love you
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: luv u 2! thanks a lot
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: ttyl! xoxo
fairy x fantasy: bye
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx:
fairy x fantasy: no problem
fairy x fantasy: later aligator!
XbAnGiN I3iTcHx: c ya
fairy x fantasy signed off at 11:54:02 PM.