Warning: Taciturn guy discussing his feelings below
Well, its official THE ex is married. I knew it had likely already happened but now I have confirmation. For those of you know the backstory, bear with me a moment as I indulge briefly those who don’t.
We had one of those relationships that was full of sound and fury which we both thought actually signified something. I, for my own part in this tale, thought she was the woman I’d spend the rest of my life with. But when something horribly happened to her in college, the emotional trauma tore us apart. We tried the whole just friends thing, only to find it was unbearable to do so. Then one long weekend I trekked to New Jersey primarily to purchase swag from Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash in Red Bank. But the secondary purpose of this journey was to be less than 30 miles away from her, the idea being to meet up and try to smooth things over. After being blown off, I waited until returning to Norfolk to launch into the “Don’t ever speak to me again” rant on her voicemail.
Two years later she miraculously pops out of the there and into the here. Which leads to a long string of flirtatious phone calls, all of these seeming to indicate reconciliation. And of course the wistful talk of us maybe being able to return to each other.
It was then that I dove into the screenplay for Unfinished using it to purge my palate of all the horrible bile I’d built up in regards to our relationship having failed. All the while scheming of ways to make her mine again. Until in the middle of my “I can rebuild her, make her better; faster; stronger” campaign I was informed that she was engaged.
After a few draining emotional conversations, I let our phone calls trickle to a stop. I stopped answering my phone when her name popped on my caller ID because I just didn’t want to be the buddy of the girl I was still in love with.
Well today I finally got the confirmation that she’d actually gone through with the wedding. Sure I’d imagined it had already happened, but if you can’t see it; it isn’t there.
But now that I know, I actually feel better. I expected I’d fall apart, that there would be shock and trauma. But there wasn’t. It was more a feeling of acceptance, like that dull hard thud of the last nail in a coffin.
Maybe, just maybe I can finally put this all behind me, and move on. Or at least pore that last bit of emotion over this into Unfinished without driving myself insane.
Now I just wish I could either find some way to stop falling for emotionally unavailable (and in some cases just plain old romantically unavailable) women to avoid being hurt. Or maybe just tell that gorgeous lady I’ve got a crush on that I in fact have a crush on her.
Or maybe not. Sure I think I can maybe let all the hurt from Trish go, but I’m still a ball-less wonder who could never bring himself to go up to Crush Girl and say: “Hey Crush Girl, I really dig you.
But all in all, yeah… it was a good day.
We had one of those relationships that was full of sound and fury which we both thought actually signified something. I, for my own part in this tale, thought she was the woman I’d spend the rest of my life with. But when something horribly happened to her in college, the emotional trauma tore us apart. We tried the whole just friends thing, only to find it was unbearable to do so. Then one long weekend I trekked to New Jersey primarily to purchase swag from Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash in Red Bank. But the secondary purpose of this journey was to be less than 30 miles away from her, the idea being to meet up and try to smooth things over. After being blown off, I waited until returning to Norfolk to launch into the “Don’t ever speak to me again” rant on her voicemail.
Two years later she miraculously pops out of the there and into the here. Which leads to a long string of flirtatious phone calls, all of these seeming to indicate reconciliation. And of course the wistful talk of us maybe being able to return to each other.
It was then that I dove into the screenplay for Unfinished using it to purge my palate of all the horrible bile I’d built up in regards to our relationship having failed. All the while scheming of ways to make her mine again. Until in the middle of my “I can rebuild her, make her better; faster; stronger” campaign I was informed that she was engaged.
After a few draining emotional conversations, I let our phone calls trickle to a stop. I stopped answering my phone when her name popped on my caller ID because I just didn’t want to be the buddy of the girl I was still in love with.
Well today I finally got the confirmation that she’d actually gone through with the wedding. Sure I’d imagined it had already happened, but if you can’t see it; it isn’t there.
But now that I know, I actually feel better. I expected I’d fall apart, that there would be shock and trauma. But there wasn’t. It was more a feeling of acceptance, like that dull hard thud of the last nail in a coffin.
Maybe, just maybe I can finally put this all behind me, and move on. Or at least pore that last bit of emotion over this into Unfinished without driving myself insane.
Now I just wish I could either find some way to stop falling for emotionally unavailable (and in some cases just plain old romantically unavailable) women to avoid being hurt. Or maybe just tell that gorgeous lady I’ve got a crush on that I in fact have a crush on her.
Or maybe not. Sure I think I can maybe let all the hurt from Trish go, but I’m still a ball-less wonder who could never bring himself to go up to Crush Girl and say: “Hey Crush Girl, I really dig you.
But all in all, yeah… it was a good day.