Hold Your Head High, Heavy Hearts
Okay, so, I've missed so many good concerts lately. It's so sad. Bob gets to go to Cobra Starship and Gym Class Heroes and I don't? There's no justice.
Also, fuck, my stupid apostrophe key keeps sticking and not actually typing anything. Goddamn motherfucking son of a bitch.
I swear, I'm not turning into my mother...
Oh man, I lied. College sucks. The freedom is amazing but there's so much shit to do. I have 2 five page papers due tomorrow that I haven't started and one of them is already late. And, fuck, it's for the class I hate but I have to go to a stupid 2 hour presentation for it tomorrow. I have to listen to a man with Ceberal Palsy talk about his life. The presentation itself should be pretty interesting but the clas discussion after is going to suck. My teacher is so fucking in love with her self that it seems like we're not allowed to have a different opinion. Dude, I get so many dirty looks when I talk. Then again, I may still have that tiny problem of not being to censor myself at all...
Um, yeah. So, the fam sucks. My mother and actual father have united in a front to get me to believe in God and give up my evil, sinning ways. I'm bisexual so I must be working for the devil. Honestly.
Annie is so amazing and I love her to bits. We went to see Doug's band, Nothing Like a Train, and they weren't bad at all! Doug is awesome on bass. I didn't even know he played, I've only ever seen him on guitar and he pretty much rocks at that so... Anyway, I'm half in love with the drummer. I don't care if he's like 5'5". Seriously, I'm going to someday marry a drummer and well...Drummers do it on beat, right? Oh, and we met Brent, the biker. I think Doug has a mancrush on him because he was v. v. proud when introducing Brent. But, well, who needs Brent when he has Anno? <3
Other than that...guitar is amazing. I have actual callouses on my finger and it's fucking awesome. Drums are next because, well, how else am I going to get even more awesome and meet cute drummers? Wow, that didn't sound shallow at all!
Also, Sam totally loves me...even if she hisses like a cat and slowly backs away from me. Um, she does love me right? Because I already bought her a Christmas present and I'm not returning it. Although, I could just keep the pretty for myself...I won't say what it is because she's on my friends' list and I'm sure she diligently reads my updates.
Okay, that's it, I swear. I've never written this much about myself that wasn't for a grade before. Then again, I am just that awesomeful. Credit to an amazing commenter for that word. Um, add_tinkerbell, I think it was. There were prolly a couple x's but, well, I'm too lazy to check.
Mind moving at the speed of light
With a body that just can't catch up
Feeling small, Feeling insecure
Knowing I could rule the world
If I tried
But I won't
They wouldn't let me
Because I
Don't fit
The mold they made for success
So sorry
I don't
Meet the expectations
Fogging up the windows
Ain't that hard
You'll never know
I wan't that into it
Blurring lines and faking smiles
A new bar snaps off my cage
With every step I take
Away from your over control
I live a life of shaved responsibility
Replace by vague rebellion
Sure, my legs are shaking
But I'm amazed I'm standing at all
My head is swimming
Thank god I can't think at all
Watching you stand up there
When I know you're not in live
Smiling out the words
Then turning away from the lie
My voice is helping
The cigarettes don't help
But they make me feel so fucking goo
And if it's a choice between
Singing and functioning
What do I choose?
Zoning out is nothing new
Especially when you're talking
You're losing weight
And pushing everyone away
What's so special about me?
Why do I get to stay?
I'd really rather obsess
Over the latest craze
Than listen to one more lie
That slips out of your lips
And God, I'm so fucking wet
I must be burning a hole through my jeans