Teach Me Tonight Part Twenty
Title: Teach me Tonight, Part Twenty: You are the best thing
Pairing: Derek/Meredith
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: These characters are property of Shonda Rhimes/ABC and Grey's Anatomy. They do not belong to me. Reimbursement is not received for fictitious works.
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Baby
It’s been a long day, baby.
Things ain’t going my way
you know I need you here
here by my side
all of the time
And Baby, the way you move me its crazy.
it’s like, you see right through me, you make it easier,
You please me and you don’t even have to try.
- You are the best thing, Ray Lamontagne
They lay there together for some minutes, catching their breath. Meredith could vaguely hear the clock ticking on the wall and the birds outside, along with Derek’s ragged and heavy breathing against her neck. She started to feel a little uncomfortable, the hardness of the desk digging into her back, making her shift and push up against him to be released. Derek made a sound of annoyance in his throat at having to let her go, but helped her sit up, fussing over her a bit and fixing her long honey coloured hair so it fell in messy waves down her back.
He looked at her with blue eyes; shining clear now from sated passion. His clothes hung half off his body; in their lustful haste there hadn’t been time to undress properly. Derek looked rumpled and roughish and it made her heart ache how sexy he still was. She leaned in to give him a sweet kiss, unlike the desperate ones they had just exchanged, and he returned it just as softly, calmer now and still so happy that she’d said she loved him and that she was his.
His possessive instinct was very satisfied as he looked at her, a red mark blossoming on her neck from where he’d bitten her, shy now and trying to cover herself up, moving to a sitting position on the desk, her legs hanging off the end. She blushed a bit when she realised they had been so close to possible discovery.
“We should really get out of here. Did you see my panties?”
“No...” Derek replied with a wolfish smile that made Meredith very suspicious that he had taken them.
She rolled her eyes at him, trying to get back to normal after such an intense time. “I guess we’re lucky this is results day, no one will be around.”
“Yeah...” Derek yawned lazily, standing up and fastening his belt before offering her a hand down off the desk. “Not like I really care anyway. What could they do to us now? Besides I would just kick their ass for daring to disturb me when I had such important things to do...”
“An important thing to do? Is that what I am?” Meredith screwed up her face, not sure if he was complimenting or teasing her.
“A vital thing...an essential one.” He looked at her more seriously then, his eyes dark blue, almost indigo in their earnestness. “and I’m not finished yet.”
“You’re not?” Meredith raised an eyebrow, she wasn’t sure if she could take another round on the desk just yet...but then again, Derek could probably persuade her to it.
Derek seemed to be sharing her thoughts as he trailed a hand up her arm, turning her skin to goosebumps all the way, and up to her face, caressing it as he had the first time they kissed, full of awe and caring, as well as predatory ownership. When he spoke his voice was husky again, but Meredith could tell he was trying to keep a reign on his more animal instincts.
“I said I wanted to take you to dinner remember? I booked the place.”
“You booked it?” Meredith was stunned, he’d really had faith that she would pass. He’d had more faith in her than she had in herself and the realisation brought a lump to her throat. She turned away, not wanting Derek to see how much she was moved. But of course, she should have remembered she could never hide from him.
“Hey...” he spoke softly, moving after her and hugging her from behind, swaying her gently and nuzzling her neck with his nose, making her giggle a bit, instead of letting out the tears that threatened to escape at any moment.
“I knew you would pass Meredith, my bright girl. In fact...I know even more than that. I know you’re going to go on to be a great surgeon...maybe not as good as me but still...” he chuckled, joining in with her giggles that sent warmth bursting through his chest.
Meredith turned, reluctant to be out of his arms, but knowing she had to show him she was all right. “One day Derek...I’m going to show you just how well you’ve taught me...and maybe I’ll even give you a few ideas!”
He chuckled even more and Meredith couldn’t tell if it was from disbelief, or pride in her feistiness. “We’ll have to see about that Miss Grey...you haven’t seen me operate yet.” He raised a dark eyebrow and gave her a cocky smile and Meredith suddenly had a flash of what he must be like during surgery. She knew he was one of the best Neurosurgeons in the country and just the thought of his skill, his power made her shiver with delight.
“I can’t wait” she whispered, not being able to resist leaning into his strong chest again, snuggling herself into him and feeling safe and protected and impossibly happy.
“Neither can I.” Derek let his fingers card through her hair gently. “I think I’d operate very well with you around...and afterwards...we can both experience that high together.”
Meredith was close to pushing him back down on the desk and getting a little preview but she just nodded and moved away, pulling at his hand to lead him to the door.
“Come on I’m starving!”
Derek grumbled a bit but let her lead him, he was Derek Shepherd, world class surgeon, but he was happy to be bossed by Meredith Grey, his student (or student no longer) and as he was beginning to discover, the most incredible woman he’d ever known.
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They stumbled out of the lecture theatre, still in a happy daze that would be pretty obvious to anyone who saw them. Luckily, as Meredith had predicted the halls were pretty quiet, only a few stragglers hung around, waiting to see their professors to thank them, or maybe insult them now it was safe.
A tall blonde curvy girl was leaning in the doorway of her tutor’s room, looking at him with such devotion in her eyes that Meredith recognised the signs of a crush. Her professor, a shorter man in his mid-thirties was looking up at her with hopeful eyes, running a hand through his thinning sandy brown hair and talking in a rushed Texan accent. As Meredith and Derek walked by, shoulders pressed together and wearing identical smiles, the pair looked over at them.
Derek waved to the professor and Meredith smiled kindly at the girl, remembering vaguely that she was from England and didn’t know many people. The girl blushed slightly to be caught back in her professor’s room when she should have been out partying with her friends, and her professor looked at Derek guiltily and a little sadly, as if he really wanted to break the rules, but was just too good to do it.
“We should tell them just to get on with it” Meredith whispered, trying to hold back her giggles as they got out of earshot of the couple.
“I’ll have a word” Derek said, smirking broadly and lacing his arm around Meredith’s waist shamelessly. “Best thing I ever did was fall for a student.”
Meredith knew it wasn’t the best plan what they’d done. But she was so happy they had done and taken the risk. After all, you can’t help who you fall in love with.
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They were out in the sunshine now and Derek didn’t show any sign of letting go of Meredith, so she walked, slightly nervous of the consequences, but knowing that Derek would never let anything bad happen to her. Derek led her towards the parking lot and Meredith’s heart skipped a little when she saw a figure leaning against Derek’s Porsche apparently waiting for them. Was this it? Was Derek about to get fired just as she was leaving school? Was fate really that cruel?
The figure spotted them and pushed himself upright, perhaps a little worried himself to be caught leaning so recklessly on Derek’s precious baby. Meredith felt Derek tense beside her, but he still didn’t let go of her, he simply held on even tighter. They both let out sigh of relief when they recognised who it was. Mark moved to meet them, looking Meredith up and down a bit and smirking at Derek.
“So if it isn’t the two forbidden lovebirds! Here I was, waiting for you Derek, in case you needed someone to drown your sorrows with, and now I see it isn’t necessary.”
Derek glared at Mark a bit; he really was too unsubtle sometimes. “Yes Mark it is. Thanks for your concern though. We can’t stay though, we have a reservation.” Derek patted him on the shoulder and attempted to steer Meredith past him and towards the car. Mark wasn’t having that though and moved back too, turning to speak to Meredith.
“Hey gorgeous, so you made your choice hmm? You chose Shepherd.”
Derek’s glare got darker and he pulled Meredith even closer to his side. Meredith looked at Mark, she liked him despite what she knew he had done, somehow, it was impossible not to. “Yes I did Mark, you think you can live with that?”
Mark laughed loudly. “I’ll have to I guess.” He leaned into her slightly, talking more intimately. “And I do have a certain teaching assistant to help me along with it. She’s like you...she has a thing for her superiors.”
He winked and Meredith couldn’t help but let out a low giggle, she really thought Mark was pretty harmless. Derek however seemed to have other ideas. He pulled Meredith back, almost sharply and gave Mark a warning glance. Mark saw it and took a couple of steps back. Just because Derek was loved up and happy now, didn’t mean he still wasn’t capable of kicking people’s asses.
“We really have to go Mark.” He said, trying not to growl at his best friend.
Mark pouted but finally moved inside to let them go. “Fine...I’ll see you later lovebirds.” He started to walk away, thinking he needed to find Lexie as soon as possible. “You both have sex hair by the way!” he threw back over his shoulder, sniggering slightly before disappearing around the corner.
Derek opened the car door roughly, Meredith could see he was tense and all his eyes no longer shone with the peace that they had after making love, and they were starting to swirl again with worry and anger. She sighed and moved in her seat to make him look at her.
“Derek. You don’t need to worry about Mark and me you know.”
“Don’t I?” Derek shot back, suddenly defensive and hurt.
“No...” Meredith spoke as soothingly as she could, moving her hand to gently smooth his hair. “You never need to worry about something like that.”
Derek relaxed slightly, moving into her touch, but his eyes still held a trace of doubt.
“But I could worry....I mean, you and George...”
Meredith almost laughed but she saw how important it was to reassure him, so she looked deep into his beautiful eyes and spoke calmly. “Me and George are never going to be more than friends...I couldn’t possibly feel for him what I do for you.”
Derek let his shoulders fall; Meredith could see the anger draining out of him as he moved to take her hand into his own larger one, pressing their palms together. “Ok then, my Meredith, ok.”
He gave her a smile, almost heartbreaking in its precarious happiness and started the engine. Meredith waited a few minutes for him to say more, but it didn’t come. She leaned back in her seat, knowing she couldn’t expect grand speeches from such a damaged man, but she couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed anyway.
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The restaurant was busy but not crowded, just the right atmosphere for two lovers to sneak into a booth near the back and not be bothered by anyone else. Meredith spent ages looking at the menu, watching Derek get more and more impatient and hiding her smile at him trying to be hold back from saying something to rush her.
“Ok...I think I’ll have the halibut...no wait, the salmon, what do you think Derek?” She cocked her head at him and tried to keep her smile innocent.
Derek gave her a frustrated look. “I think if you don’t chose soon I might collapse with hunger!”
Meredith formed a look of fake sympathy in her large eyes. “I don’t want that...then I’d have to sit here alone and it would be boring.”
Derek gave a gentle growl and grabbed her menu off her. “Why don’t you have the lobster like me huh?”
“But isn’t that an aphrodisiac? I want to be able to control myself...” Meredith blinked her lashes at him, still trying to keep up the act.
“So why don’t you just...” Derek trailed off, stopping his frustrated tirade as he saw how Meredith’s eyes were twinkling. “Wait. You’re messing with me aren’t you?”
“Yes.” Meredith let out a delicious giggle that she’d been holding in. “That will teach you to choose my wine for me...”
“But I....” Derek looked stunned, mouth open for a few seconds before he shut it and gave her a mischievous look in return. “I cannot believe you’re still teasing me after all this time...”
“Believe it Dr Shepherd...cause I’m never going to stop.”
“I don’t think I’d want you to.” Derek gave her a look so hungry Meredith decided they should order before he leapt over the table and devoured her instead.
“Let’s both have the lobster” she suggested, trying to breathe normally under his heated gaze but feeling her cheeks flush anyway.
“Yes let’s.” Derek gulped his wine; her blushes always had the power to undo him.
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The food distracted them, it was the best Meredith had ever tasted and despite Derek hiding the prices from her she knew she should appreciate it while she could. He seemed to want to spoil her though, seemed to enjoy it even more than the food and wine. She felt him watching her constantly, and in the end she looked up, ready to tell him to quit it, only to be confronted by such a adoring look that she didn’t have to heart to stop him, and she found the more embarrassed she got, the more he seemed to do it.
He seemed almost entranced by her, but also thoughtful. She knew him well enough by now to know he was building himself up to saying something, and it made her nervous. In the car she thought she’d wanted a big speech, but now she could see it coming, she knew from Derek it might be too overwhelming for her to handle, she loved him so much.
But Derek looked determined. He put down his knife and fork and leaned forward across the table. “Meredith...I have something I need to say.”
Meredith whimpered a bit and shook her head. “Derek, no, it’s ok...you don’t have to.”
“I do.” His voice was firm, and his tone showed he wasn’t going to take any arguments.
“I have to say Meredith...that you have changed my life. I was so...broken before you came, and I never thought that we...could be anything more than a secret, lustful mistake.”
Meredith winced, she had thought the same, but it was hard to hear Derek say those words. He saw her reaction and shook his head, cursing a bit under his breath.
“No...don’t get upset. I can’t say things like this very well. Ever since Addison...”
He clenched his jaw and struggled for words for some moments. Meredith felt sick despite the lovely food in her stomach and she wished he would stop even as she leaned forward, desperate for him to go on.
“But I was wrong. You weren’t a mistake. In fact, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He picked up one of her hands and kissed it, looking less tortured now and more relaxed, now he’d said this much and risked himself, he had gotten over the fear of opening up. He was ready to say the one thing he hadn’t said for years and the thing he’d never thought he would ever say in his life again.
“I love you Meredith.”
Meredith blinked, feeling hot tears stinging her eyes just like she had feared. She really wasn’t prepared for what the knowledge that Derek loved her would feel like.
She let him hold her hand but moved to other to her eyes, wiping them with annoyance. Derek looked at her, concerned at her reaction.
“This is a good thing right? I mean, you said you loved me too.” Her arrogant surgeon looked almost insecure, and Meredith’s heart swelled with love for him.
“I do. It’s just...nothing can be this good. Things don’t usually work out for me.”
Derek smiled then, relieved and understanding. “Not for me either. But I’m here for you now Meredith, I want to make you happy because you make me feel...alive. Ok, we won’t always be in paradise, you’re gonna piss me off and I’ll be grumpy occasionally and frustrate you, we’re going to argue and fight like crazy. You’ll probably want to kill me at some points...”
Meredith giggled, but nodded, knowing he was right. His honest declaration meant more to her than empty clichés would.
“But I’ll always want to come home to you....and we’ll have the best make up sex ever.” Derek caressed her wrist and gave her a devilish smirk, but his eyes were shining full of love. Meredith felt dizzy and she couldn’t work out what she’d done to be so lucky, but for now, she wasn’t going to question it. She was going to accept that somewhere along the road of this crazy relationship Derek had turned from her teacher into the love of her life and now she couldn’t imagine being away from him.
Derek’s eyes searched hers to make sure she’d understood him, and he looked satisfied, he’d always been good at reading her. He leaned over the table to kiss her, meaning it to be light and soft, but as their lips touched the world melted away and he couldn’t care less that they were in public.
He licked at her lips hungrily and pushed his tongue inside her mouth, feeling like he would die if he couldn’t taste her. Meredith moaned as she felt his teeth nipping at her lip, used as she was now to his forceful kisses, this seemed one to top all the others. The force of his love showed itself in a claiming of her mouth, kissing her deeply until she felt light headed and even had to clutch at his arms to steady herself. Derek moaned into her mouth, his brain telling him he should stop and let her breathe, but wanting nothing more in that moment than to keep their lips sealed together, he never wanted to let her go.
Unfortunately the appearance of the waiter forced them to pull apart, Meredith flushing in embarrassment and keeping her eyes firmly on the table, Derek licking his lips and still looking at her unashamedly. The waiter was kind, putting their deserts down as quickly as he could and disappearing again, leaving Meredith to press her hands to her burning cheeks and shoot Derek a resentful glance. “I cannot believe you kissed me like that in here Derek...it was practically foreplay.”
Derek laughed, an open, carefree loud sound that she’d never heard him make before. “Meredith, if you think that was foreplay, I really do have a lot still to teach you....”
“Oh just shut up and eat your cheesecake.” Meredith pouted, but watched him from under her lashes as he nodded, still laughing a bit to himself and licking his spoon with relish. She could never stay mad at him when he looked like that, so happy, and the knowledge that it was her making him feel like that was better than anything in the world.
Maybe he did have something to teach her, but she was pretty sure they needed to learn about love together, and she was eager to begin the lessons.
Pairing: Derek/Meredith
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: These characters are property of Shonda Rhimes/ABC and Grey's Anatomy. They do not belong to me. Reimbursement is not received for fictitious works.
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Baby
It’s been a long day, baby.
Things ain’t going my way
you know I need you here
here by my side
all of the time
And Baby, the way you move me its crazy.
it’s like, you see right through me, you make it easier,
You please me and you don’t even have to try.
- You are the best thing, Ray Lamontagne
They lay there together for some minutes, catching their breath. Meredith could vaguely hear the clock ticking on the wall and the birds outside, along with Derek’s ragged and heavy breathing against her neck. She started to feel a little uncomfortable, the hardness of the desk digging into her back, making her shift and push up against him to be released. Derek made a sound of annoyance in his throat at having to let her go, but helped her sit up, fussing over her a bit and fixing her long honey coloured hair so it fell in messy waves down her back.
He looked at her with blue eyes; shining clear now from sated passion. His clothes hung half off his body; in their lustful haste there hadn’t been time to undress properly. Derek looked rumpled and roughish and it made her heart ache how sexy he still was. She leaned in to give him a sweet kiss, unlike the desperate ones they had just exchanged, and he returned it just as softly, calmer now and still so happy that she’d said she loved him and that she was his.
His possessive instinct was very satisfied as he looked at her, a red mark blossoming on her neck from where he’d bitten her, shy now and trying to cover herself up, moving to a sitting position on the desk, her legs hanging off the end. She blushed a bit when she realised they had been so close to possible discovery.
“We should really get out of here. Did you see my panties?”
“No...” Derek replied with a wolfish smile that made Meredith very suspicious that he had taken them.
She rolled her eyes at him, trying to get back to normal after such an intense time. “I guess we’re lucky this is results day, no one will be around.”
“Yeah...” Derek yawned lazily, standing up and fastening his belt before offering her a hand down off the desk. “Not like I really care anyway. What could they do to us now? Besides I would just kick their ass for daring to disturb me when I had such important things to do...”
“An important thing to do? Is that what I am?” Meredith screwed up her face, not sure if he was complimenting or teasing her.
“A vital thing...an essential one.” He looked at her more seriously then, his eyes dark blue, almost indigo in their earnestness. “and I’m not finished yet.”
“You’re not?” Meredith raised an eyebrow, she wasn’t sure if she could take another round on the desk just yet...but then again, Derek could probably persuade her to it.
Derek seemed to be sharing her thoughts as he trailed a hand up her arm, turning her skin to goosebumps all the way, and up to her face, caressing it as he had the first time they kissed, full of awe and caring, as well as predatory ownership. When he spoke his voice was husky again, but Meredith could tell he was trying to keep a reign on his more animal instincts.
“I said I wanted to take you to dinner remember? I booked the place.”
“You booked it?” Meredith was stunned, he’d really had faith that she would pass. He’d had more faith in her than she had in herself and the realisation brought a lump to her throat. She turned away, not wanting Derek to see how much she was moved. But of course, she should have remembered she could never hide from him.
“Hey...” he spoke softly, moving after her and hugging her from behind, swaying her gently and nuzzling her neck with his nose, making her giggle a bit, instead of letting out the tears that threatened to escape at any moment.
“I knew you would pass Meredith, my bright girl. In fact...I know even more than that. I know you’re going to go on to be a great surgeon...maybe not as good as me but still...” he chuckled, joining in with her giggles that sent warmth bursting through his chest.
Meredith turned, reluctant to be out of his arms, but knowing she had to show him she was all right. “One day Derek...I’m going to show you just how well you’ve taught me...and maybe I’ll even give you a few ideas!”
He chuckled even more and Meredith couldn’t tell if it was from disbelief, or pride in her feistiness. “We’ll have to see about that Miss Grey...you haven’t seen me operate yet.” He raised a dark eyebrow and gave her a cocky smile and Meredith suddenly had a flash of what he must be like during surgery. She knew he was one of the best Neurosurgeons in the country and just the thought of his skill, his power made her shiver with delight.
“I can’t wait” she whispered, not being able to resist leaning into his strong chest again, snuggling herself into him and feeling safe and protected and impossibly happy.
“Neither can I.” Derek let his fingers card through her hair gently. “I think I’d operate very well with you around...and afterwards...we can both experience that high together.”
Meredith was close to pushing him back down on the desk and getting a little preview but she just nodded and moved away, pulling at his hand to lead him to the door.
“Come on I’m starving!”
Derek grumbled a bit but let her lead him, he was Derek Shepherd, world class surgeon, but he was happy to be bossed by Meredith Grey, his student (or student no longer) and as he was beginning to discover, the most incredible woman he’d ever known.
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They stumbled out of the lecture theatre, still in a happy daze that would be pretty obvious to anyone who saw them. Luckily, as Meredith had predicted the halls were pretty quiet, only a few stragglers hung around, waiting to see their professors to thank them, or maybe insult them now it was safe.
A tall blonde curvy girl was leaning in the doorway of her tutor’s room, looking at him with such devotion in her eyes that Meredith recognised the signs of a crush. Her professor, a shorter man in his mid-thirties was looking up at her with hopeful eyes, running a hand through his thinning sandy brown hair and talking in a rushed Texan accent. As Meredith and Derek walked by, shoulders pressed together and wearing identical smiles, the pair looked over at them.
Derek waved to the professor and Meredith smiled kindly at the girl, remembering vaguely that she was from England and didn’t know many people. The girl blushed slightly to be caught back in her professor’s room when she should have been out partying with her friends, and her professor looked at Derek guiltily and a little sadly, as if he really wanted to break the rules, but was just too good to do it.
“We should tell them just to get on with it” Meredith whispered, trying to hold back her giggles as they got out of earshot of the couple.
“I’ll have a word” Derek said, smirking broadly and lacing his arm around Meredith’s waist shamelessly. “Best thing I ever did was fall for a student.”
Meredith knew it wasn’t the best plan what they’d done. But she was so happy they had done and taken the risk. After all, you can’t help who you fall in love with.
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They were out in the sunshine now and Derek didn’t show any sign of letting go of Meredith, so she walked, slightly nervous of the consequences, but knowing that Derek would never let anything bad happen to her. Derek led her towards the parking lot and Meredith’s heart skipped a little when she saw a figure leaning against Derek’s Porsche apparently waiting for them. Was this it? Was Derek about to get fired just as she was leaving school? Was fate really that cruel?
The figure spotted them and pushed himself upright, perhaps a little worried himself to be caught leaning so recklessly on Derek’s precious baby. Meredith felt Derek tense beside her, but he still didn’t let go of her, he simply held on even tighter. They both let out sigh of relief when they recognised who it was. Mark moved to meet them, looking Meredith up and down a bit and smirking at Derek.
“So if it isn’t the two forbidden lovebirds! Here I was, waiting for you Derek, in case you needed someone to drown your sorrows with, and now I see it isn’t necessary.”
Derek glared at Mark a bit; he really was too unsubtle sometimes. “Yes Mark it is. Thanks for your concern though. We can’t stay though, we have a reservation.” Derek patted him on the shoulder and attempted to steer Meredith past him and towards the car. Mark wasn’t having that though and moved back too, turning to speak to Meredith.
“Hey gorgeous, so you made your choice hmm? You chose Shepherd.”
Derek’s glare got darker and he pulled Meredith even closer to his side. Meredith looked at Mark, she liked him despite what she knew he had done, somehow, it was impossible not to. “Yes I did Mark, you think you can live with that?”
Mark laughed loudly. “I’ll have to I guess.” He leaned into her slightly, talking more intimately. “And I do have a certain teaching assistant to help me along with it. She’s like you...she has a thing for her superiors.”
He winked and Meredith couldn’t help but let out a low giggle, she really thought Mark was pretty harmless. Derek however seemed to have other ideas. He pulled Meredith back, almost sharply and gave Mark a warning glance. Mark saw it and took a couple of steps back. Just because Derek was loved up and happy now, didn’t mean he still wasn’t capable of kicking people’s asses.
“We really have to go Mark.” He said, trying not to growl at his best friend.
Mark pouted but finally moved inside to let them go. “Fine...I’ll see you later lovebirds.” He started to walk away, thinking he needed to find Lexie as soon as possible. “You both have sex hair by the way!” he threw back over his shoulder, sniggering slightly before disappearing around the corner.
Derek opened the car door roughly, Meredith could see he was tense and all his eyes no longer shone with the peace that they had after making love, and they were starting to swirl again with worry and anger. She sighed and moved in her seat to make him look at her.
“Derek. You don’t need to worry about Mark and me you know.”
“Don’t I?” Derek shot back, suddenly defensive and hurt.
“No...” Meredith spoke as soothingly as she could, moving her hand to gently smooth his hair. “You never need to worry about something like that.”
Derek relaxed slightly, moving into her touch, but his eyes still held a trace of doubt.
“But I could worry....I mean, you and George...”
Meredith almost laughed but she saw how important it was to reassure him, so she looked deep into his beautiful eyes and spoke calmly. “Me and George are never going to be more than friends...I couldn’t possibly feel for him what I do for you.”
Derek let his shoulders fall; Meredith could see the anger draining out of him as he moved to take her hand into his own larger one, pressing their palms together. “Ok then, my Meredith, ok.”
He gave her a smile, almost heartbreaking in its precarious happiness and started the engine. Meredith waited a few minutes for him to say more, but it didn’t come. She leaned back in her seat, knowing she couldn’t expect grand speeches from such a damaged man, but she couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed anyway.
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The restaurant was busy but not crowded, just the right atmosphere for two lovers to sneak into a booth near the back and not be bothered by anyone else. Meredith spent ages looking at the menu, watching Derek get more and more impatient and hiding her smile at him trying to be hold back from saying something to rush her.
“Ok...I think I’ll have the halibut...no wait, the salmon, what do you think Derek?” She cocked her head at him and tried to keep her smile innocent.
Derek gave her a frustrated look. “I think if you don’t chose soon I might collapse with hunger!”
Meredith formed a look of fake sympathy in her large eyes. “I don’t want that...then I’d have to sit here alone and it would be boring.”
Derek gave a gentle growl and grabbed her menu off her. “Why don’t you have the lobster like me huh?”
“But isn’t that an aphrodisiac? I want to be able to control myself...” Meredith blinked her lashes at him, still trying to keep up the act.
“So why don’t you just...” Derek trailed off, stopping his frustrated tirade as he saw how Meredith’s eyes were twinkling. “Wait. You’re messing with me aren’t you?”
“Yes.” Meredith let out a delicious giggle that she’d been holding in. “That will teach you to choose my wine for me...”
“But I....” Derek looked stunned, mouth open for a few seconds before he shut it and gave her a mischievous look in return. “I cannot believe you’re still teasing me after all this time...”
“Believe it Dr Shepherd...cause I’m never going to stop.”
“I don’t think I’d want you to.” Derek gave her a look so hungry Meredith decided they should order before he leapt over the table and devoured her instead.
“Let’s both have the lobster” she suggested, trying to breathe normally under his heated gaze but feeling her cheeks flush anyway.
“Yes let’s.” Derek gulped his wine; her blushes always had the power to undo him.
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The food distracted them, it was the best Meredith had ever tasted and despite Derek hiding the prices from her she knew she should appreciate it while she could. He seemed to want to spoil her though, seemed to enjoy it even more than the food and wine. She felt him watching her constantly, and in the end she looked up, ready to tell him to quit it, only to be confronted by such a adoring look that she didn’t have to heart to stop him, and she found the more embarrassed she got, the more he seemed to do it.
He seemed almost entranced by her, but also thoughtful. She knew him well enough by now to know he was building himself up to saying something, and it made her nervous. In the car she thought she’d wanted a big speech, but now she could see it coming, she knew from Derek it might be too overwhelming for her to handle, she loved him so much.
But Derek looked determined. He put down his knife and fork and leaned forward across the table. “Meredith...I have something I need to say.”
Meredith whimpered a bit and shook her head. “Derek, no, it’s ok...you don’t have to.”
“I do.” His voice was firm, and his tone showed he wasn’t going to take any arguments.
“I have to say Meredith...that you have changed my life. I was so...broken before you came, and I never thought that we...could be anything more than a secret, lustful mistake.”
Meredith winced, she had thought the same, but it was hard to hear Derek say those words. He saw her reaction and shook his head, cursing a bit under his breath.
“No...don’t get upset. I can’t say things like this very well. Ever since Addison...”
He clenched his jaw and struggled for words for some moments. Meredith felt sick despite the lovely food in her stomach and she wished he would stop even as she leaned forward, desperate for him to go on.
“But I was wrong. You weren’t a mistake. In fact, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He picked up one of her hands and kissed it, looking less tortured now and more relaxed, now he’d said this much and risked himself, he had gotten over the fear of opening up. He was ready to say the one thing he hadn’t said for years and the thing he’d never thought he would ever say in his life again.
“I love you Meredith.”
Meredith blinked, feeling hot tears stinging her eyes just like she had feared. She really wasn’t prepared for what the knowledge that Derek loved her would feel like.
She let him hold her hand but moved to other to her eyes, wiping them with annoyance. Derek looked at her, concerned at her reaction.
“This is a good thing right? I mean, you said you loved me too.” Her arrogant surgeon looked almost insecure, and Meredith’s heart swelled with love for him.
“I do. It’s just...nothing can be this good. Things don’t usually work out for me.”
Derek smiled then, relieved and understanding. “Not for me either. But I’m here for you now Meredith, I want to make you happy because you make me feel...alive. Ok, we won’t always be in paradise, you’re gonna piss me off and I’ll be grumpy occasionally and frustrate you, we’re going to argue and fight like crazy. You’ll probably want to kill me at some points...”
Meredith giggled, but nodded, knowing he was right. His honest declaration meant more to her than empty clichés would.
“But I’ll always want to come home to you....and we’ll have the best make up sex ever.” Derek caressed her wrist and gave her a devilish smirk, but his eyes were shining full of love. Meredith felt dizzy and she couldn’t work out what she’d done to be so lucky, but for now, she wasn’t going to question it. She was going to accept that somewhere along the road of this crazy relationship Derek had turned from her teacher into the love of her life and now she couldn’t imagine being away from him.
Derek’s eyes searched hers to make sure she’d understood him, and he looked satisfied, he’d always been good at reading her. He leaned over the table to kiss her, meaning it to be light and soft, but as their lips touched the world melted away and he couldn’t care less that they were in public.
He licked at her lips hungrily and pushed his tongue inside her mouth, feeling like he would die if he couldn’t taste her. Meredith moaned as she felt his teeth nipping at her lip, used as she was now to his forceful kisses, this seemed one to top all the others. The force of his love showed itself in a claiming of her mouth, kissing her deeply until she felt light headed and even had to clutch at his arms to steady herself. Derek moaned into her mouth, his brain telling him he should stop and let her breathe, but wanting nothing more in that moment than to keep their lips sealed together, he never wanted to let her go.
Unfortunately the appearance of the waiter forced them to pull apart, Meredith flushing in embarrassment and keeping her eyes firmly on the table, Derek licking his lips and still looking at her unashamedly. The waiter was kind, putting their deserts down as quickly as he could and disappearing again, leaving Meredith to press her hands to her burning cheeks and shoot Derek a resentful glance. “I cannot believe you kissed me like that in here Derek...it was practically foreplay.”
Derek laughed, an open, carefree loud sound that she’d never heard him make before. “Meredith, if you think that was foreplay, I really do have a lot still to teach you....”
“Oh just shut up and eat your cheesecake.” Meredith pouted, but watched him from under her lashes as he nodded, still laughing a bit to himself and licking his spoon with relish. She could never stay mad at him when he looked like that, so happy, and the knowledge that it was her making him feel like that was better than anything in the world.
Maybe he did have something to teach her, but she was pretty sure they needed to learn about love together, and she was eager to begin the lessons.