revised
never call it an eating disorder
that implies that you're thin enough and you will never be thin enough
call it a diet
watch carefully their faces when they say you don't need one
spend your money on clothes you don't fit into
don't leave enough to buy groceries, buy cigarettes instead
throw away anything that leaves you room to breathe
breathing makes you hungry and all that space,
it's too easy to grow into
buy mirrors instead
don't let anyone catch you looking
learn to drink when you find yourself lonely
learn to shower when you need to be held
when you get dizzy, focus on the burn behind your ribcage
this is your stomach eating itself
imagine yourself without a stomach
imagine how easy life would be
never let anyone pick you up that isn't drunk
leave before they see your naked sober
leave before they try to fall in love with you
don't believe them when they tell you that you're beautiful
put mirrors in your eyes and blind them with reflected perfect
this will blind you too but you get used to it
learn to eat slowly
the slower you eat, the less hungry you look
always eat less than the people around you
learn to crave the taste of stomach acid
keep track of the weights of the people around you
always exercise alone so no one sees you stagger
always wear heels so you have an excuse for stumbling
don't let anyone catch you
don't let anyone catch you
learn to ignore the disinterested beating of your heart
those silences are just blood finding the holes in the walls
learn to be jealous of their escaping
watch your teeth get bigger when you smile
part your hair on the side so you can't see it thinning
remember your fairy tales
remember the size of the princess
don't ever expect to be rescued
that implies that you're thin enough and you will never be thin enough
call it a diet
watch carefully their faces when they say you don't need one
spend your money on clothes you don't fit into
don't leave enough to buy groceries, buy cigarettes instead
throw away anything that leaves you room to breathe
breathing makes you hungry and all that space,
it's too easy to grow into
buy mirrors instead
don't let anyone catch you looking
learn to drink when you find yourself lonely
learn to shower when you need to be held
when you get dizzy, focus on the burn behind your ribcage
this is your stomach eating itself
imagine yourself without a stomach
imagine how easy life would be
never let anyone pick you up that isn't drunk
leave before they see your naked sober
leave before they try to fall in love with you
don't believe them when they tell you that you're beautiful
put mirrors in your eyes and blind them with reflected perfect
this will blind you too but you get used to it
learn to eat slowly
the slower you eat, the less hungry you look
always eat less than the people around you
learn to crave the taste of stomach acid
keep track of the weights of the people around you
always exercise alone so no one sees you stagger
always wear heels so you have an excuse for stumbling
don't let anyone catch you
don't let anyone catch you
learn to ignore the disinterested beating of your heart
those silences are just blood finding the holes in the walls
learn to be jealous of their escaping
watch your teeth get bigger when you smile
part your hair on the side so you can't see it thinning
remember your fairy tales
remember the size of the princess
don't ever expect to be rescued