crying myself to sleep didnt help
Here I am awaken from my slumber. I came to Joels after Megans walk tonight. I tried falling asleep but just found myself crying like a baby itching to get some of these things off my mind.
It's crazy how time changes things. Things that you always hope would never change but you really had no hold of it. It's so sad to see Megan gone. 3 years ago was the best time in my life. I just joined the sorority - just turned 21 - met new people - i partied like a champ and had great friends. For some reason - when i think of college - i really only remember my first 2 years. The two years that I spent partyin alot with Michelle and Megan - getting drunk bar hopping with the old Theta Phis in Mulligans and Las Brasas. It makes me sad to think that it'll never be like that again. Just so care free and fun.
I guess what bothers me is the fact we do all grow up. We all grow up - get boyfriends and get boring. But that sucks. I look back now and realize that once i started dating Joel - me and Megs grew apart. I will never blame Joel for that or myself - but that is what happened. I had to grow up - frat parties werent my life. But I miss her. I dream about her all the time - all different dreams. I wonder if this whole thing affects anyone else like this - because i also find myself dreaming of my ex boyfriend Andre that passed away from a motorcycle accident. Maybe it's because I never was able to say goodbye to them. But it's greatly affected me.
I guess some of us just have a tougher time saying good bye. Those 2 people played such a big part in my life and at the moment they passed - i just wasnt ready to let them go. But then again who is ever ready to give up their loved ones.
Anyhow - I was lying in bed for like an hour with all these thoughts runnin thru my mind and i guess i took to long to make it to the computer - b/c im definately drawing blanks. I've decided to only make time for people I really care about. IT seems like I get carried away trying to hang out with everyone that i lose time with the people that really mean something to me. I guess all I can hope for is no more bad dreams tonight.
It's crazy how time changes things. Things that you always hope would never change but you really had no hold of it. It's so sad to see Megan gone. 3 years ago was the best time in my life. I just joined the sorority - just turned 21 - met new people - i partied like a champ and had great friends. For some reason - when i think of college - i really only remember my first 2 years. The two years that I spent partyin alot with Michelle and Megan - getting drunk bar hopping with the old Theta Phis in Mulligans and Las Brasas. It makes me sad to think that it'll never be like that again. Just so care free and fun.
I guess what bothers me is the fact we do all grow up. We all grow up - get boyfriends and get boring. But that sucks. I look back now and realize that once i started dating Joel - me and Megs grew apart. I will never blame Joel for that or myself - but that is what happened. I had to grow up - frat parties werent my life. But I miss her. I dream about her all the time - all different dreams. I wonder if this whole thing affects anyone else like this - because i also find myself dreaming of my ex boyfriend Andre that passed away from a motorcycle accident. Maybe it's because I never was able to say goodbye to them. But it's greatly affected me.
I guess some of us just have a tougher time saying good bye. Those 2 people played such a big part in my life and at the moment they passed - i just wasnt ready to let them go. But then again who is ever ready to give up their loved ones.
Anyhow - I was lying in bed for like an hour with all these thoughts runnin thru my mind and i guess i took to long to make it to the computer - b/c im definately drawing blanks. I've decided to only make time for people I really care about. IT seems like I get carried away trying to hang out with everyone that i lose time with the people that really mean something to me. I guess all I can hope for is no more bad dreams tonight.