Letter to the Community
Living in Portland has been a wonderful experience in many ways. At the same time, it has also been one of the most difficult experiences of my life. As I was growing up, I moved a lot. My mother was poor and went wherever she could be and my father was in the military. Depending on the situation, I bounced back and forth between the two of them. No matter where I went, I made friends quickly and easily and kept those friends, many who are still in my life today.
Moving to Portland was very exciting for me because it was going to be the first time for me to live in a community that was friendly toward my being trans, kinky, poly, and queer. I spent most of my childhood in Texas and Oklahoma, came out in Texas, and lived in Michigan, Oklahoma, and Georgia in the beginning of my transition. I had to fight to survive everywhere I went, while being the joke wherever I was. I still managed to find community that stood for me and had my back no matter what, a community and friends that are still in my life today. We appreciated each other because we all knew how hard it was to find each other and to survive the hatred experienced from that outside world that surrounded us each day.
I knew that moving to Portland meant that I would find people like me. I knew that there were great things happening here and thought that for once, I could be stress free about my gender and queerness. My experiences in Portland though, have made me not as afraid of the straight community that I grew up learning to fear, but more the queer community. While I have had many wonderful experiences in the queer community, I have also found a lot of pain and sadness. We don’t value each other. Everywhere most of us turn, we see community, and therefore we take it for granted. We don’t have to communicate or work things out; we can simply move on to the next queer, after all, there are many of us!
The problem with this though, is that we are all a community. Regardless of how much one of us may dislike the other, who dated who, or who said what, we are all still here and we are all still fighting the same fight. We all deserve a chance to stand strong and to support each other and we should all be exercising that right. We are one of few cities in this country that has what we have and while thousands of queers are craving what we have daily, we are bashing it. We need to look around and see the beauty that surrounds us. Before we can fight the good fight and make our place in this world, we have to make our places with each other. This is the only way we will have the strength to survive and win this fight.
My commitment to this community is to stand strong, face my fears, and to open my heart. I feel a lot of pain from my experiences in Portland and I want to move past it. I want to open myself to the queers in this city, regardless of past experiences. I want to open myself to the truth that each of us holds as individuals and embrace that truth without judgment. I will focus daily on forgiveness and acceptance for myself and my community and I will work to smile at those that I am afraid to smile at. I will be honest and open hearted. I will open myself to the love that I feel toward those that have crossed my path, rather than tucking it away when they walk past for fear of them seeing it.
Portland is an amazing city with an amazing queer community and I know we can make it stronger!
With love and solidarity,
Ryan
Moving to Portland was very exciting for me because it was going to be the first time for me to live in a community that was friendly toward my being trans, kinky, poly, and queer. I spent most of my childhood in Texas and Oklahoma, came out in Texas, and lived in Michigan, Oklahoma, and Georgia in the beginning of my transition. I had to fight to survive everywhere I went, while being the joke wherever I was. I still managed to find community that stood for me and had my back no matter what, a community and friends that are still in my life today. We appreciated each other because we all knew how hard it was to find each other and to survive the hatred experienced from that outside world that surrounded us each day.
I knew that moving to Portland meant that I would find people like me. I knew that there were great things happening here and thought that for once, I could be stress free about my gender and queerness. My experiences in Portland though, have made me not as afraid of the straight community that I grew up learning to fear, but more the queer community. While I have had many wonderful experiences in the queer community, I have also found a lot of pain and sadness. We don’t value each other. Everywhere most of us turn, we see community, and therefore we take it for granted. We don’t have to communicate or work things out; we can simply move on to the next queer, after all, there are many of us!
The problem with this though, is that we are all a community. Regardless of how much one of us may dislike the other, who dated who, or who said what, we are all still here and we are all still fighting the same fight. We all deserve a chance to stand strong and to support each other and we should all be exercising that right. We are one of few cities in this country that has what we have and while thousands of queers are craving what we have daily, we are bashing it. We need to look around and see the beauty that surrounds us. Before we can fight the good fight and make our place in this world, we have to make our places with each other. This is the only way we will have the strength to survive and win this fight.
My commitment to this community is to stand strong, face my fears, and to open my heart. I feel a lot of pain from my experiences in Portland and I want to move past it. I want to open myself to the queers in this city, regardless of past experiences. I want to open myself to the truth that each of us holds as individuals and embrace that truth without judgment. I will focus daily on forgiveness and acceptance for myself and my community and I will work to smile at those that I am afraid to smile at. I will be honest and open hearted. I will open myself to the love that I feel toward those that have crossed my path, rather than tucking it away when they walk past for fear of them seeing it.
Portland is an amazing city with an amazing queer community and I know we can make it stronger!
With love and solidarity,
Ryan