My life story...
Theres a girl
Who sits under the bleachers
Just another day eating alone
When she smiles
There is something just hiding
And she find a way to relate
She just goes unnoticed
As the crowd passes by
She'll pretend to be busy
When inside
She just wants to cry
And she'll say
Take a little look
At the life of miss always invisible
Look a little closer
I really really want you to
Put yourself in my shoes
Take another look
At the face of miss always invisible
Look alittle harder
And then maybe you will see
Why she waits for the day
When you'll ask her her name
The beginning
In the first weeks of class
She did everything to try and fit in
But the others
They couldnt seem to get passed
All the things that miss matched on the surface
She would close her eyes
When they laughed
As she fell down the stairs
And the more that they joked
And the more that they screamed
She reatreated to what she is now
And she'll sing
Take a little look
At the life of miss always invisible
Look a little closer
I really really want you to
Put yourself in my shoes
Take another look
At the face of miss always invisible
Look a little closer
And then maybe you will see
Why she waits for the day
When you'll ask her her name
And one day
Just the same as the last
Just a day spent counting the time
Came a boy
Who sat under the bleachers
Just a little bit further behind
*If you guys havnt seen the commercial then go to www.provoice.com and vote for marie digby. she wrote that song. its awesome*
Well... I cant sleep. As usual. Its 4:30 and Im sitting here listening to some Unwanted Superheroes and thinking about everything. I love color gaurd. It is such a release. I can just go there and work out and spin and not worry about anything. All my worries are gone.
=/ I like greg. Yes... I said it. I like him. Atleast I think I do. So... if your reading this please dont go running to tell him. Cause I honestly dont want him to know. Cause I mean... I think I like him. Or I just like flirting with him? I dunno. =( but he doesnt like me. Oh well... Its nothing unusual.
Kim and Jimmy might go out again? I dont like that idea. I mean... I dont like him. But I hate it that they like each other =( And I hate the fact that they went out. I mean yeah... I may be a LITTLE jealous. But I guess thats expected considering I liked him for like a year. I dunno. It just... brings back memories. Kim and I used to be good friends. Or atleast thats what I wanted to believe. But then her and Jimmy started liking each other and I still liked him. And then her and Jimmy started going out and yeah I was upset but what hurt me the most is the fact that she COMPLETLY ditched me 100% for him. And that hurt more than her going out with him. =( I wish the whole Kim and Jimmy thing would stop. I wish everything would just stop. Life is really shitty right now and then there are just little things like that to top everything off. But... what can I do? I cant do anything about it. I just wish that like... I dunno. I hate the fact that she was what he wanted. Just cause I tried so hard to be for so long and then one of my good friends comes alond and *bam* shes the girl. Its just frustrating. I hate the fact that when I try to talk to him online I know that hes talking to her. I hate the fact that he asks her to hang out and me... its just. Well... ocassional. I hate the fact that he wants her and she knows it. I hate knowing that his best friend is warming up to her. I hate everything. I hate being sober. I hate wanting him knowing he doesnt want me. I hate being at home. I hate looking my mom in the eyes knowing the dissapointment I've caused her. I hate people hating me. I hate the fact that I love to gossip. I hate looking in the mirror everyday seeing what I see. I hate my body. I hate my feet. I hate my hands. I hate my hair. I hate my clothes. I hate my room. I hate not having money. I hate my handwriting. I hate not having Amber around. I hate knowing that my friends hate me. I hate the fact that I cant be enough for him. I hate that my brothers arent here for me. I hate that I cant see my family more. I hate the fact that I do drugs. I hate how I lost my virginity. I hate the guy who took it. I hate Tommie for hurting me. I hate the fact that no one reads this. I hate everything. Why am I so insecure? Why cant I have better friends? Why does everyone hate me? Why do I fuck up so much?
Im so fucking insecure. And I HATE it. I HATE IT! I just want to break something. Or throw something. It makes me so mad you couldnt even understand.
All I want is to be loved.
Megan =(
Who sits under the bleachers
Just another day eating alone
When she smiles
There is something just hiding
And she find a way to relate
She just goes unnoticed
As the crowd passes by
She'll pretend to be busy
When inside
She just wants to cry
And she'll say
Take a little look
At the life of miss always invisible
Look a little closer
I really really want you to
Put yourself in my shoes
Take another look
At the face of miss always invisible
Look alittle harder
And then maybe you will see
Why she waits for the day
When you'll ask her her name
The beginning
In the first weeks of class
She did everything to try and fit in
But the others
They couldnt seem to get passed
All the things that miss matched on the surface
She would close her eyes
When they laughed
As she fell down the stairs
And the more that they joked
And the more that they screamed
She reatreated to what she is now
And she'll sing
Take a little look
At the life of miss always invisible
Look a little closer
I really really want you to
Put yourself in my shoes
Take another look
At the face of miss always invisible
Look a little closer
And then maybe you will see
Why she waits for the day
When you'll ask her her name
And one day
Just the same as the last
Just a day spent counting the time
Came a boy
Who sat under the bleachers
Just a little bit further behind
*If you guys havnt seen the commercial then go to www.provoice.com and vote for marie digby. she wrote that song. its awesome*
Well... I cant sleep. As usual. Its 4:30 and Im sitting here listening to some Unwanted Superheroes and thinking about everything. I love color gaurd. It is such a release. I can just go there and work out and spin and not worry about anything. All my worries are gone.
=/ I like greg. Yes... I said it. I like him. Atleast I think I do. So... if your reading this please dont go running to tell him. Cause I honestly dont want him to know. Cause I mean... I think I like him. Or I just like flirting with him? I dunno. =( but he doesnt like me. Oh well... Its nothing unusual.
Kim and Jimmy might go out again? I dont like that idea. I mean... I dont like him. But I hate it that they like each other =( And I hate the fact that they went out. I mean yeah... I may be a LITTLE jealous. But I guess thats expected considering I liked him for like a year. I dunno. It just... brings back memories. Kim and I used to be good friends. Or atleast thats what I wanted to believe. But then her and Jimmy started liking each other and I still liked him. And then her and Jimmy started going out and yeah I was upset but what hurt me the most is the fact that she COMPLETLY ditched me 100% for him. And that hurt more than her going out with him. =( I wish the whole Kim and Jimmy thing would stop. I wish everything would just stop. Life is really shitty right now and then there are just little things like that to top everything off. But... what can I do? I cant do anything about it. I just wish that like... I dunno. I hate the fact that she was what he wanted. Just cause I tried so hard to be for so long and then one of my good friends comes alond and *bam* shes the girl. Its just frustrating. I hate the fact that when I try to talk to him online I know that hes talking to her. I hate the fact that he asks her to hang out and me... its just. Well... ocassional. I hate the fact that he wants her and she knows it. I hate knowing that his best friend is warming up to her. I hate everything. I hate being sober. I hate wanting him knowing he doesnt want me. I hate being at home. I hate looking my mom in the eyes knowing the dissapointment I've caused her. I hate people hating me. I hate the fact that I love to gossip. I hate looking in the mirror everyday seeing what I see. I hate my body. I hate my feet. I hate my hands. I hate my hair. I hate my clothes. I hate my room. I hate not having money. I hate my handwriting. I hate not having Amber around. I hate knowing that my friends hate me. I hate the fact that I cant be enough for him. I hate that my brothers arent here for me. I hate that I cant see my family more. I hate the fact that I do drugs. I hate how I lost my virginity. I hate the guy who took it. I hate Tommie for hurting me. I hate the fact that no one reads this. I hate everything. Why am I so insecure? Why cant I have better friends? Why does everyone hate me? Why do I fuck up so much?
Im so fucking insecure. And I HATE it. I HATE IT! I just want to break something. Or throw something. It makes me so mad you couldnt even understand.
All I want is to be loved.
Megan =(