Summer's End
Today feels like the end of summer... As some of you may know, I work at a summer camp and today was the last day. The first thing I noticed this morning was that all the posters were taken off the walls, all our art, all the stuff the kids made, all the posters my group made. It was pretty depressing considering the mood I was already in. I almost cried. Thank god my group was extremely well behaved from the get-go because I wasn't really up to screaming my head off at them today. Maybe it was the weather, maybe it was a crazy ex-girlfriend who threw a big drunken fit last night at a staff BBQ and me having to deal with all her shit. Worst part is that she wouldn't get out of my car unless I promised to talk to her tonight. I think I'm gonna take a nap as soon as i'm done writing this and hopefully I can avoid that talk.
Later on during the day we had mass (it's a day-camp run through the church so we have masses on fridays). Anyways, the atmosphere was great and I usually hate mass. Just seeing all my friends from around the camp, seeing the kids singing and being excited about their last day at camp made the summer worth it. I almost cried again in mass.
Then everything fell apart. My group was horrible. I had to sit them down 3 fucking times for long periods of time. I even brought the little bastards home-made brownies and tried having a nice talk with them trying to reminisce about the summer. I was pissy the rest of the day and out of the 15 kids I had today in my group, about 4 came to say goodbye and hugged me at the end of the day. Then I had to do daycare till 6:00 and that's when the tears started coming. Not really bad or anything, but everyone noticed I was crying, which isn't unusual the last day of camp cause I've done it in the past, but today I wasn't crying for my group at all. I think I just wasn't ready to give up the camp atmoshphere as a whole yet. This summmer really flew by. I'm gonna miss all the hugs and kisses and jokes from the kids we had in our center. Some real characters some of them. I loved the people I worked with and my bosses were awesome but for some reason I felt an emptiness at the end of the day that I haven't felt in previous years working there. Maybe my time working at camp is over. I'm almost crying right now actually just thinking about it. I miss it already.
This is probably about as EMO as you're ever gonna see me, so enjoy it.
Right now I just wanna ditch the ex-gf and get wasted by myself tonight and just listen to music and play bass. Maybe even write something. Sometimes I like feeling like shit because it just helps to fuel creativity and such. My frustration, anger, sadness and overall feeling of empty all probably contributed to me actually updating this fucking livejournal.
Enjoy.
Later on during the day we had mass (it's a day-camp run through the church so we have masses on fridays). Anyways, the atmosphere was great and I usually hate mass. Just seeing all my friends from around the camp, seeing the kids singing and being excited about their last day at camp made the summer worth it. I almost cried again in mass.
Then everything fell apart. My group was horrible. I had to sit them down 3 fucking times for long periods of time. I even brought the little bastards home-made brownies and tried having a nice talk with them trying to reminisce about the summer. I was pissy the rest of the day and out of the 15 kids I had today in my group, about 4 came to say goodbye and hugged me at the end of the day. Then I had to do daycare till 6:00 and that's when the tears started coming. Not really bad or anything, but everyone noticed I was crying, which isn't unusual the last day of camp cause I've done it in the past, but today I wasn't crying for my group at all. I think I just wasn't ready to give up the camp atmoshphere as a whole yet. This summmer really flew by. I'm gonna miss all the hugs and kisses and jokes from the kids we had in our center. Some real characters some of them. I loved the people I worked with and my bosses were awesome but for some reason I felt an emptiness at the end of the day that I haven't felt in previous years working there. Maybe my time working at camp is over. I'm almost crying right now actually just thinking about it. I miss it already.
This is probably about as EMO as you're ever gonna see me, so enjoy it.
Right now I just wanna ditch the ex-gf and get wasted by myself tonight and just listen to music and play bass. Maybe even write something. Sometimes I like feeling like shit because it just helps to fuel creativity and such. My frustration, anger, sadness and overall feeling of empty all probably contributed to me actually updating this fucking livejournal.
Enjoy.