(no subject)
yay this was a fun weekend. but....im all emo because im being so stupid, but i cant change it, ive tried, but it just didnt work...
so yeah, what i want sooo sooo bad, is right under my nose. and everyone tells me this, and i know it myself, and....but.....urgh...im so confused. i guess i can say: what i want...i can have. but im refusing to take a chance because i no i wont be satisfied? but than i think.....what i can have, it is definantly not what i really want...at all. but, what i really want...i will never ever be able to have. oh, i got it!! : "What is "given" to me, some people would say is what i want, but truly, thats not what i want at all, what i really want, i will never be able to get."
woow, after reading that, i realized that none of u people will be able to understand it.....except one...or two. (haha, Marley, im sure your the one of the only people that will understand it <3<3 lol)
Anyway, it is so hard to explain, and i still feel as if what i wrote is not even close to what im thinking.
Maybe thats it, maybe im just thinking to much.
Or, maybe im just being to picky and i should learn to take a chance, and make other people happy...even if i wont be happy myself.
But that doesnt make sense to me, am i just being really selfish?? oh nooo. its just...i would feel aweful if i wasnt being honest...and pretending just to make someone happy. I just dont wanna do that.
Oh i give up, im sorry to all of you tat actually read that. I should stop complaining..and just be happy. but its really hard when u have soooo much on your mind.
im done.
im going to write my essay now. leave a comment that will make me smile. =/
so yeah, what i want sooo sooo bad, is right under my nose. and everyone tells me this, and i know it myself, and....but.....urgh...im so confused. i guess i can say: what i want...i can have. but im refusing to take a chance because i no i wont be satisfied? but than i think.....what i can have, it is definantly not what i really want...at all. but, what i really want...i will never ever be able to have. oh, i got it!! : "What is "given" to me, some people would say is what i want, but truly, thats not what i want at all, what i really want, i will never be able to get."
woow, after reading that, i realized that none of u people will be able to understand it.....except one...or two. (haha, Marley, im sure your the one of the only people that will understand it <3<3 lol)
Anyway, it is so hard to explain, and i still feel as if what i wrote is not even close to what im thinking.
Maybe thats it, maybe im just thinking to much.
Or, maybe im just being to picky and i should learn to take a chance, and make other people happy...even if i wont be happy myself.
But that doesnt make sense to me, am i just being really selfish?? oh nooo. its just...i would feel aweful if i wasnt being honest...and pretending just to make someone happy. I just dont wanna do that.
Oh i give up, im sorry to all of you tat actually read that. I should stop complaining..and just be happy. but its really hard when u have soooo much on your mind.
im done.
im going to write my essay now. leave a comment that will make me smile. =/