dont read if you dont wana hear mope.
i just watched the rock, the whole thing, for the first time. good movie.
anyway its the first friday night in a while ive been home, i was grounded tonight for not cleaning my room. well anyway... its a sucky night. ive cried a bunch of times, but when dont i? the whole fiasco with my teacher, plus midterms and competition and some other stuff - im just stressed out. a lot of people can handle all that with a level head, ive never been like that.
im not doing well enough in school. im not doing as good as i couldddd be in practice. i dont like how i look, my clothes or my hair (well not true, just today). this whole week i just feel like i suck. a lot of times i just dont feel good enough, its like i try my best but its not enough. and sometimes it makes me think im not good enough for anyone or to get anywhere. i know its not true but when youre in that mood..youre in that mood.
i also feel like theres a lot of things ive been keeping bottled up because im afraid of whats going to happen if i let them out. its not like anything is really bad, i just think too much. i mean i know there are people i can trust but i just feel like i should keep it all to myself lately...idk i feel like people dont want to hear it.
this entry is so... blah, i hate it. im not trying to win pity this is just how i feel. its kind of strange ive been so totally happy lately im not used to being upset again, which i like. so tonights just one of those nights that everyone has to deal with sometimes and since i have noone to talk to right now im letting it out here.
anyway... this week was mine and chris' one month. it was fun he came over and it was really cute. i love him<33 alyssa was gone twice this week an dleft me with the hag seniors in aphg, hah i hate a couple of them..just..like 3. jon commented i dont really talk when alyssa isnt there which si true- i said someting kinda bitchy back and i feel bad. sometimes im so mean. i hate it.
ive been wondering how other people view me, or see me, a lot lately. so if anyone could answer that question an leave it for me in a comment that would be fabuulooussss.
i hit my head in the shower and had a huge headache and it really hurt. so ive been resting--but now back to my room. practice tomorrow morning, our first competiton is in a week!! then i think im hanging out with chris during the afternoon and the girls at night.
leave some, im out.
anyway its the first friday night in a while ive been home, i was grounded tonight for not cleaning my room. well anyway... its a sucky night. ive cried a bunch of times, but when dont i? the whole fiasco with my teacher, plus midterms and competition and some other stuff - im just stressed out. a lot of people can handle all that with a level head, ive never been like that.
im not doing well enough in school. im not doing as good as i couldddd be in practice. i dont like how i look, my clothes or my hair (well not true, just today). this whole week i just feel like i suck. a lot of times i just dont feel good enough, its like i try my best but its not enough. and sometimes it makes me think im not good enough for anyone or to get anywhere. i know its not true but when youre in that mood..youre in that mood.
i also feel like theres a lot of things ive been keeping bottled up because im afraid of whats going to happen if i let them out. its not like anything is really bad, i just think too much. i mean i know there are people i can trust but i just feel like i should keep it all to myself lately...idk i feel like people dont want to hear it.
this entry is so... blah, i hate it. im not trying to win pity this is just how i feel. its kind of strange ive been so totally happy lately im not used to being upset again, which i like. so tonights just one of those nights that everyone has to deal with sometimes and since i have noone to talk to right now im letting it out here.
anyway... this week was mine and chris' one month. it was fun he came over and it was really cute. i love him<33 alyssa was gone twice this week an dleft me with the hag seniors in aphg, hah i hate a couple of them..just..like 3. jon commented i dont really talk when alyssa isnt there which si true- i said someting kinda bitchy back and i feel bad. sometimes im so mean. i hate it.
ive been wondering how other people view me, or see me, a lot lately. so if anyone could answer that question an leave it for me in a comment that would be fabuulooussss.
i hit my head in the shower and had a huge headache and it really hurt. so ive been resting--but now back to my room. practice tomorrow morning, our first competiton is in a week!! then i think im hanging out with chris during the afternoon and the girls at night.
leave some, im out.