(no subject)
This entry was written last night and meant to have been posted then, so bear with me.
I've spent the last few hours reading my book and learning so much more about myself. If I could describe myself by the lead characters in three books they would be:
1. The Perks of Being A Wallflower
2. Better Than Running at Night
3. I Can't Tell You
The characters in these books are so intelligent and watch their surroundings with close eyes, but they're incredibly awkward about situations. They're the ones giving out amazing advice, but really they sometimes need it themselves. They seem so put-together on the outside and no one really knows what they're thinking. All that you can tell about them comes from the often intense or blank look in their eyes. They're the ones who sit through class entrancingly quiet, unsure of whether to speak or not. They feel safer and more secure writing down their thoughts, whether they ever share them or not. Expressing emotions does not come easy to them, nevermind going about it correctly. They never know quite how to act around someone they are interested in, and moreoften than not, scares them away. The "let's just be friends" speech was invented just for them, and it's made sure that they know that. They yget attached to people very quickly but usually lose them pretty fast. They find things hilarious that most people would find strange or just plain wouldn't understand. When there is something important that needs to be said, they'll never really tell you or they'll deny ever having anything to say. They enjoy receiving sompliments but never know how to respond to them politely. You'll always find them shelling out relationship advice, but you hardly ever see them in one themselves. They read deeper into situations on conversations more than they should. When they're incredibly upset, they tend to try to make themselves even more upset. Timing is never been their best quality and this often is the cause of many problems. They are always waiting for the perfect moment to come, when in their hearts they know that it never will. They pass up more priceless opportunities than they recognize as being one, and communication will never be one of their strong points. They spend most of their time wondering "what if?" or "what did they mean by that?" Their sometimes terrible sense of loneliness is the cause of a terrible trait of desperation. Signals get crossed in confusion as soon as they enter a room, and the opposite sex doesn't often show much interest. They make a horrible mistake and then inevitably make it even worse while trying to make it better. They are the social latebloomers, in a way, never to really know their time will come.
"Is everything in life like this? A series of losses? Even when you try to do something to fix what you've done wrong? You find that your solution messes up some other aspect of your life? It's just, I can't think of any WORDS that could fix this."
"Have you ever gotten so sad that it actually feels GOOD to do something you know will make you even sadder?"
I've spent the last few hours reading my book and learning so much more about myself. If I could describe myself by the lead characters in three books they would be:
1. The Perks of Being A Wallflower
2. Better Than Running at Night
3. I Can't Tell You
The characters in these books are so intelligent and watch their surroundings with close eyes, but they're incredibly awkward about situations. They're the ones giving out amazing advice, but really they sometimes need it themselves. They seem so put-together on the outside and no one really knows what they're thinking. All that you can tell about them comes from the often intense or blank look in their eyes. They're the ones who sit through class entrancingly quiet, unsure of whether to speak or not. They feel safer and more secure writing down their thoughts, whether they ever share them or not. Expressing emotions does not come easy to them, nevermind going about it correctly. They never know quite how to act around someone they are interested in, and moreoften than not, scares them away. The "let's just be friends" speech was invented just for them, and it's made sure that they know that. They yget attached to people very quickly but usually lose them pretty fast. They find things hilarious that most people would find strange or just plain wouldn't understand. When there is something important that needs to be said, they'll never really tell you or they'll deny ever having anything to say. They enjoy receiving sompliments but never know how to respond to them politely. You'll always find them shelling out relationship advice, but you hardly ever see them in one themselves. They read deeper into situations on conversations more than they should. When they're incredibly upset, they tend to try to make themselves even more upset. Timing is never been their best quality and this often is the cause of many problems. They are always waiting for the perfect moment to come, when in their hearts they know that it never will. They pass up more priceless opportunities than they recognize as being one, and communication will never be one of their strong points. They spend most of their time wondering "what if?" or "what did they mean by that?" Their sometimes terrible sense of loneliness is the cause of a terrible trait of desperation. Signals get crossed in confusion as soon as they enter a room, and the opposite sex doesn't often show much interest. They make a horrible mistake and then inevitably make it even worse while trying to make it better. They are the social latebloomers, in a way, never to really know their time will come.
"Is everything in life like this? A series of losses? Even when you try to do something to fix what you've done wrong? You find that your solution messes up some other aspect of your life? It's just, I can't think of any WORDS that could fix this."
"Have you ever gotten so sad that it actually feels GOOD to do something you know will make you even sadder?"