Why Doesn't He Like Me? : The Eternal Question Answered
While flipping through old magazines, that title caught my eye so I decided to read up on this eternal question and all I found were lies. I feel sorry for the girls who actually take this advice as the greatest of truths, because really they've only made things more difficult for me. This particular section I found amusingly false.
He sees you as one of the guys.
It may actually make you feel worse to know that while he thinks you're cool, you're not girlfriend material. If he likes you so much, why doesn't he want to go out with you? Usually it's because he doesn't recognize your dating potential. Clara says that her current boyfriend broke out the "just friends" line when she brought up the idea of being a couple. "I don't think he even saw me as a girl," she says, "I was the person he'd been telling gross jokes to since the sixth grade." The easiest way to change that image is to spend time alone with him, doing something new. Instead of shooting baskets with him and five other guy friends, invite him to a museum or a concert with only you. He'll get to learn more about you than how many Doritos you can stuff in your mouth at once. Clara did this, and it worked. "I think it helped him realize I wasn't just another person to hang out with," she says. "I was someone he could really get close to."
Not only will inviting your guy friend somewhere alone be amazingly awkward, it'll also more often than not, freak your friend out beyond belief. My friend Sam brought up the term "friended" to me last night, roughly meaning that I get that "just friends" comment often. He also said that maybe I should just start off a friendship with a guy by upfront telling them whether I want to be more than a friend or not. But in my head that's not me at all, and if I were the guy I think that it would just completely scare me away from the girl.
All along I've really wanted to be a girlfriend who is basically like the guy's best friend. I want to be included with their group of friends and be considered cool to hang out with and not pressured into acting different around. Apparently I don't send off this message, which is a shame because I'm really not that bad of a person to be around, I don't think. I like to blend in with all of the different crowds of people I hang out in, but I guess that I'd just really to feel like I truly belong in one of them. I want to be liked by everyone, and then have one person who really likes me who I like by too. But I also want the person that I like, to be someone that all of my groups of friends would get along with and think is cool. But really, I've always wanted to be the girl who was mysteriously cool that all the nice, interesting guys wanted but who no one could really get. Just to be anonymously taken, when in fact I'm not. I dunno if that makes any sense at all and maybe I don't have my priorities straight, but right now that's where they are for me.
He sees you as one of the guys.
It may actually make you feel worse to know that while he thinks you're cool, you're not girlfriend material. If he likes you so much, why doesn't he want to go out with you? Usually it's because he doesn't recognize your dating potential. Clara says that her current boyfriend broke out the "just friends" line when she brought up the idea of being a couple. "I don't think he even saw me as a girl," she says, "I was the person he'd been telling gross jokes to since the sixth grade." The easiest way to change that image is to spend time alone with him, doing something new. Instead of shooting baskets with him and five other guy friends, invite him to a museum or a concert with only you. He'll get to learn more about you than how many Doritos you can stuff in your mouth at once. Clara did this, and it worked. "I think it helped him realize I wasn't just another person to hang out with," she says. "I was someone he could really get close to."
Not only will inviting your guy friend somewhere alone be amazingly awkward, it'll also more often than not, freak your friend out beyond belief. My friend Sam brought up the term "friended" to me last night, roughly meaning that I get that "just friends" comment often. He also said that maybe I should just start off a friendship with a guy by upfront telling them whether I want to be more than a friend or not. But in my head that's not me at all, and if I were the guy I think that it would just completely scare me away from the girl.
All along I've really wanted to be a girlfriend who is basically like the guy's best friend. I want to be included with their group of friends and be considered cool to hang out with and not pressured into acting different around. Apparently I don't send off this message, which is a shame because I'm really not that bad of a person to be around, I don't think. I like to blend in with all of the different crowds of people I hang out in, but I guess that I'd just really to feel like I truly belong in one of them. I want to be liked by everyone, and then have one person who really likes me who I like by too. But I also want the person that I like, to be someone that all of my groups of friends would get along with and think is cool. But really, I've always wanted to be the girl who was mysteriously cool that all the nice, interesting guys wanted but who no one could really get. Just to be anonymously taken, when in fact I'm not. I dunno if that makes any sense at all and maybe I don't have my priorities straight, but right now that's where they are for me.