would ya' look at that.. she's updating
Haven't updated in a while, mainly because lj was just pissing me off. But I just read my previous entries and I thought I would write a new one.
I lost 20 pounds over the summer - go me. Mainly because I started getting sick from the beginning of July to the beginning of September, where everytime I ate, I got sick. It was a nice little anorexia/bulemia combo going. But it was finally over by the time I got back to school. Doctors didn't know what was wrong with me (still don't), but it helped with my weight so I'm not gonna fight it. I'm hoping to lose another 15 pounds by the end of November... but by actually eating healthy and working out this time.
I was really, really incredibly excited to go back to school, and now I just hate my life. Although I would rather be here than working full-time at Century Bank, it still sucks. I applied to UMass Amherst for the spring semester. I'm hoping that having a year under my belt, making dean's list, and going to a different UMass will help me get accepted. Not sure how I would react getting rejected twice... it kind of scares me. Even if I do get accepted, it doesn't mean I'm 100% going to go. Well, actually, the only things stopping me are: the thoughts of learning how another school operates (professors, picking classes, knowing my way around, etc), my friends at UML, and the closeness of UML to Wakefield. As much as I want to distance myself from home and everything that entails, it's so easy to just go home when I don't feel like being here, or need a place to be alone. But I'm pretty sure if I do go to Amherst, I will be so much happier. That depressed, rejected, empty feeling I have inside me since getting rejected will finally be filled. (Maybe my self-esteem will go up a bit too? Especially if I can lose the extra 15 pounds.)
I also feel like I need to start anew. I didn't make many friends since coming to UML because I didn't want to be here in the first place. I don't do much on weekends now that I'm on South, and everyone I hung out with last year either lives on East or commutes. If I went to Amherst I know I would be a lot more social and not so dependent on my friends at home.
I got a costume for halloween.. at an ACTUAL halloween costume store. It's quite exciting - I'm going to be a pirate hooker. WOO. It's pretty slutty too. <3 it.
I need to keep studying for the Modern World... maybe I'll take an extended break and go to Cumby's for ice cream and other fattening snacks... and a Sobe. I love those things.
I lost 20 pounds over the summer - go me. Mainly because I started getting sick from the beginning of July to the beginning of September, where everytime I ate, I got sick. It was a nice little anorexia/bulemia combo going. But it was finally over by the time I got back to school. Doctors didn't know what was wrong with me (still don't), but it helped with my weight so I'm not gonna fight it. I'm hoping to lose another 15 pounds by the end of November... but by actually eating healthy and working out this time.
I was really, really incredibly excited to go back to school, and now I just hate my life. Although I would rather be here than working full-time at Century Bank, it still sucks. I applied to UMass Amherst for the spring semester. I'm hoping that having a year under my belt, making dean's list, and going to a different UMass will help me get accepted. Not sure how I would react getting rejected twice... it kind of scares me. Even if I do get accepted, it doesn't mean I'm 100% going to go. Well, actually, the only things stopping me are: the thoughts of learning how another school operates (professors, picking classes, knowing my way around, etc), my friends at UML, and the closeness of UML to Wakefield. As much as I want to distance myself from home and everything that entails, it's so easy to just go home when I don't feel like being here, or need a place to be alone. But I'm pretty sure if I do go to Amherst, I will be so much happier. That depressed, rejected, empty feeling I have inside me since getting rejected will finally be filled. (Maybe my self-esteem will go up a bit too? Especially if I can lose the extra 15 pounds.)
I also feel like I need to start anew. I didn't make many friends since coming to UML because I didn't want to be here in the first place. I don't do much on weekends now that I'm on South, and everyone I hung out with last year either lives on East or commutes. If I went to Amherst I know I would be a lot more social and not so dependent on my friends at home.
I got a costume for halloween.. at an ACTUAL halloween costume store. It's quite exciting - I'm going to be a pirate hooker. WOO. It's pretty slutty too. <3 it.
I need to keep studying for the Modern World... maybe I'll take an extended break and go to Cumby's for ice cream and other fattening snacks... and a Sobe. I love those things.