34. I don't want to hurt.
I don't want to feel like this anymore. What happened to being happy? I give up. Solution: Dump him.
Yeah, he called like 2 minutes ago:
Patty: *picks up* "It's for you Malyna..."
Me: "Who is it?"
Patty: "You're-- uh... you're boyfriend."
Me: *takes phone* "Hello?"
Tony: "Can I talk to Mimi?"
I give the phone to Mimi, and when she hangs up I ask her what he said. He asked her to go snowboarding with him at Wachusett. He didn't even ask me. He asked her.
I can't stand him anymore. I really can't. I don't love him anymore. It doesn't feel the same. Everything between us has changed.
UGH! Today, in school (2-hour delay, woo!) I couldn't concentrate. So much shit is going on in my head. It was kinda like-- I was dreaming. You know what I'm talking about? I could hear, and see, and touch, but I couldn't feel. I can't feel!! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. I want to cry, but I can't. I want to scream, but when I open my mouth nothing comes out. I don't know. I'm just blah. It's not just Tony. Its other things. I think I might have "feelings" for this boy. I'm sure he knows, but I doubt he feels the same. Eh, what's new.
I want to leave, move to CA or some isolated, undiscovered island. I just want to get away. Please help me, someone. Please... please.
UPDATE 06:58pm "Malyna and Tony" is no more. He called me like 20 minutes ago. We talked a lot... and I broke up with him. I needed it. I just hope he's okay. It sounded like he cried. But I'm happy. He told me "Just as long as you're happy. I'm happy too." It was cute. We're still really good friends though-- like we can talk to each other. So its cool. I can't say I don't love him-- its just not that kinda love, you know? :::Malyna & Tony 09/24/03-12/20/04::: Hahaha, kinda looks like someone died. Later!
Yeah, he called like 2 minutes ago:
Patty: *picks up* "It's for you Malyna..."
Me: "Who is it?"
Patty: "You're-- uh... you're boyfriend."
Me: *takes phone* "Hello?"
Tony: "Can I talk to Mimi?"
I give the phone to Mimi, and when she hangs up I ask her what he said. He asked her to go snowboarding with him at Wachusett. He didn't even ask me. He asked her.
I can't stand him anymore. I really can't. I don't love him anymore. It doesn't feel the same. Everything between us has changed.
UGH! Today, in school (2-hour delay, woo!) I couldn't concentrate. So much shit is going on in my head. It was kinda like-- I was dreaming. You know what I'm talking about? I could hear, and see, and touch, but I couldn't feel. I can't feel!! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. I want to cry, but I can't. I want to scream, but when I open my mouth nothing comes out. I don't know. I'm just blah. It's not just Tony. Its other things. I think I might have "feelings" for this boy. I'm sure he knows, but I doubt he feels the same. Eh, what's new.
I want to leave, move to CA or some isolated, undiscovered island. I just want to get away. Please help me, someone. Please... please.
UPDATE 06:58pm "Malyna and Tony" is no more. He called me like 20 minutes ago. We talked a lot... and I broke up with him. I needed it. I just hope he's okay. It sounded like he cried. But I'm happy. He told me "Just as long as you're happy. I'm happy too." It was cute. We're still really good friends though-- like we can talk to each other. So its cool. I can't say I don't love him-- its just not that kinda love, you know? :::Malyna & Tony 09/24/03-12/20/04::: Hahaha, kinda looks like someone died. Later!