(no subject)
I know it's been a while since I updated, and not too much has happened. What I really want to say is that I miss Rebecca. Every workday I sit down for lunch and listen to all the music she has given me so far, be in Les Miserables or Andrea bocceli (spelling?) singing in some language that I can't even spell. I am reminded at least once a day during that hour break I get that she is not here. The summer has gotten increasingly hard for me. First month: no problem. Second month: getting lonely. Third month: sad, lonely, and confused. I am now going on month four and I can't wait for the time to pass. I have accomplished a lot this summer for how much time I have had to work on my projects, but even that is no consolation. The only real consolation I have is that soon it will be over. Five weeks. Yep, that seems like a while to me as well. Over a month. That puts me into a fifth month of not being in Mobile.
I want to go home.
Some of you will ask, "if you want to go so badly, then why don't you just leave?". Those of you who have known me a good while know the answer to that one already: I have started a task, and I refuse to leave it incomplete. This kind of dedication is what binds me to a lot of things, even things that get me into trouble.
If she only knew what I know! If she could see as I see, then perhaps things might be different, but then again, that always begs the question 1) what do I know that she can't see? or 2) what would be different even then? #1 I am going to let simmer for a while. #2 I am not sure I want to contemplate. No, things must not be controlled by me. I don't have all the answers. Rebecca answers questions I didn't even know I had until she mentions something about a topic and we discuss it.
Have you heard the lonely wolf's cry?
How it echoes through the night!
How it travels through the air!
Chills to the bone it might,
frighten off it could,
but echo it must
for no one to hear.
It is time I be off, I have to gain my composure again before work begins in 30 minutes.
~The Lonely Wolf's Cry
I want to go home.
Some of you will ask, "if you want to go so badly, then why don't you just leave?". Those of you who have known me a good while know the answer to that one already: I have started a task, and I refuse to leave it incomplete. This kind of dedication is what binds me to a lot of things, even things that get me into trouble.
If she only knew what I know! If she could see as I see, then perhaps things might be different, but then again, that always begs the question 1) what do I know that she can't see? or 2) what would be different even then? #1 I am going to let simmer for a while. #2 I am not sure I want to contemplate. No, things must not be controlled by me. I don't have all the answers. Rebecca answers questions I didn't even know I had until she mentions something about a topic and we discuss it.
Have you heard the lonely wolf's cry?
How it echoes through the night!
How it travels through the air!
Chills to the bone it might,
frighten off it could,
but echo it must
for no one to hear.
It is time I be off, I have to gain my composure again before work begins in 30 minutes.
~The Lonely Wolf's Cry