???
Some nights you just feel as if the weight of the world and everything falls on your shoulders.
Maybe it's the long days working?
Maybe it's seeing so many pains typed whenever I come on to see people?
Maybe it's the chronically depreciating home-life?
The fact that the sun has set again and is soon to rise, and I have nothing to show for it.
That the world is imperiled and while everyday life is stable enough, there seems to be no reason to look to the future.
That it's always "tomorrow" despite it never being at all.
That I must wear so many masks just to get through the day, deceiving myself and others in the process.
That hard work is never rewarded.
That I can't do more for the people I care about.
Or that I choose not to.
That love is a ghost on a child's mind that the child, grown can no longer conjure the fantasy of.
That I am unable to name everything that picks me apart from outward in, and inward out.
Maybe it's everything.
Maybe it's the long days working?
Maybe it's seeing so many pains typed whenever I come on to see people?
Maybe it's the chronically depreciating home-life?
The fact that the sun has set again and is soon to rise, and I have nothing to show for it.
That the world is imperiled and while everyday life is stable enough, there seems to be no reason to look to the future.
That it's always "tomorrow" despite it never being at all.
That I must wear so many masks just to get through the day, deceiving myself and others in the process.
That hard work is never rewarded.
That I can't do more for the people I care about.
Or that I choose not to.
That love is a ghost on a child's mind that the child, grown can no longer conjure the fantasy of.
That I am unable to name everything that picks me apart from outward in, and inward out.
Maybe it's everything.