*cough* loser *cough*

[diremonkey]

Must. Get. Out. Of. House. Going stir-crazy. Drinking too much coffee. Have become very unhealthy, physically, mentally, metaphorically, totally. I wonder what size wings you'd need to get the average person off the ground... avian wings, as in, bird wings. A person with wings would have to hunch forward to balance, firstly, because wings would be unwieldly, and secondly, because the muscles of their back and shoulders would be hideously over-developed in order to lift the bulky human frame off the ground. Hmmm, if a person where to have wings and be able to fly, they'd probably have bird style hollow bones too, that, or really really efficient musculature. Wings woudl really get in the way of living. You would have trouble fitting in a normal house, you'd have to secure everything to to surfaces or you'd break stuff by accident. You'd couldn't sit normally because you'd crush the feathers. it'd be even worse if your arms were your wings, seeing as you might be able to keep a hand capable of manipulating objects, but your little finger would have to be like, lengthened several feet, the muscles of your arm would be reconfigured, you'd only have 3 fingers and a thumb to manipulate objects, and in order not to have your wing unfurled your little finger would be like, crossing your palm. Yep. Too much coffee. I'm totally lacking in inspiration for my portfolio, which is very bad. Seeing as I've become a total loser this last half of the year... not that I wasn't already suffering from that condition before that. I NEED TO BE DOING SOMETHING. For fucks sake I'm turning into my sister, lives on a computer with no human contact except on the internet, hasn't seen any friends in person in months. The only things I'm missing are boobs and a moustache. I need inspiration to get moving on this art portfolio. That or deadlines. Deadlines deadlier than the end of the month, not that that's not a deadline that won't kill me, but if I leave it that late I'll never get into what I want, which will leave me totally directionless. Again. Somebody needs to give me a push. Preferably while I'm standing offguard at the top of some escalators. That are moving faster than normal, so I like, roll infinitely down without actually getting to the bottom. That'd actually make an interesting video. I've lost my patience. And my attention span. I hardly have the patience/span of attention to listen to a 3 minute song. 3 minutes. What the crap has happened to me? Hmmm. Maybe more coffee would help. Or some tea. Maybe I should just start injecting caffeine into my veins. Or arteries. Or brain-stem. I want to be doing something. Interesting. I'm hardly doing anything now, and 'tis really really crap. Wake up at 10 am, sleep at 2am. nothing between that actually engages the brain. Or any muscles. I'm like a vegetable that can talk and move around on my own. Like some kind of mutant super vegetable. "It has the intellect of a unversity drop-out, and the locomotive capabilities of an athletically challenged myopic nerd. Oooooh and it says here that it can photosynthesize as well.". Also, I turned 19 on the 20th of september. Not only did I not celebrate my birthday, I had to be reminded that it was happening. My 17th birthday party was pretty good considering I printed up some generic invitations and had nick and pat hand them to people. My 18th was a few friends at my house playing cards and drinking a few beers while watching a dvd of a Steve Vai concert, I'm pretty sure that not everyone who was present was aware it was even my birthday. And my 19th birthday I woke up, was reminded it was my birthday, the cake my parents got made me ill, and I went to sleep. It's really starting to suck to be me. I quit playing World of Warcraft, which was basically the only way I was socializing with nick and pat, friends I've known the majority of my life. Wow. Three words. "I am lame". Maybe four words "I need a life". Or maybe three words again. "Kill me now".

"How many freudians does it take to shange a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to hold the penis... Ladder! I meant to say ladder!"