Lazy day~!
Other than my "walking" for fitness class this afternoon, but it's my last class of the day so maybe it won't be so bad.
I put on my baggiest tshirt and a comfortable pair of jeans and I just *don't care* today. Mostly because I put on like four shirts in my closet and I hated how I looked in all of them and I got really depressed and just put something loose on. It's starting to really get to me. All I want to do is be able to put a tshirt on without second-guessing everything because I'm afraid of someone being able to see the lines of my binder in the back or the fact that my torso is sometimes weirdly shaped because of the binder flattening things out where and digging in elsewhere and ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
I just want to be able to get dressed without it like ruining my day. Fucking hell.
I couldn't even get INTO BED last night until 3 am and I have class in 20 minutes and I'm really cranky. I want to go get some hot chocolate or something before class to cheer me up but I feel like I shouldn't because I can't really afford it. I used up so much flex already. I can't bring in any more income until I finish up the commissions that I already have because I'm backed up. :|
I don't know what to do. I wish my fucking financial aid would go through and they'd stop dicking me around with it. There was like a 20 dollar difference between something they had on file and my dad's W2s and it's like. REALLY? REALLY? I keep counting on at least a small refund check from that and it's frustrating me.
Why can't I just finish this semester and go to Bradford already? Honestly if I didn't care so much about maintaining my GPA I would just screw around the rest of the semester. I am just so borderline not caring.
I put on my baggiest tshirt and a comfortable pair of jeans and I just *don't care* today. Mostly because I put on like four shirts in my closet and I hated how I looked in all of them and I got really depressed and just put something loose on. It's starting to really get to me. All I want to do is be able to put a tshirt on without second-guessing everything because I'm afraid of someone being able to see the lines of my binder in the back or the fact that my torso is sometimes weirdly shaped because of the binder flattening things out where and digging in elsewhere and ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
I just want to be able to get dressed without it like ruining my day. Fucking hell.
I couldn't even get INTO BED last night until 3 am and I have class in 20 minutes and I'm really cranky. I want to go get some hot chocolate or something before class to cheer me up but I feel like I shouldn't because I can't really afford it. I used up so much flex already. I can't bring in any more income until I finish up the commissions that I already have because I'm backed up. :|
I don't know what to do. I wish my fucking financial aid would go through and they'd stop dicking me around with it. There was like a 20 dollar difference between something they had on file and my dad's W2s and it's like. REALLY? REALLY? I keep counting on at least a small refund check from that and it's frustrating me.
Why can't I just finish this semester and go to Bradford already? Honestly if I didn't care so much about maintaining my GPA I would just screw around the rest of the semester. I am just so borderline not caring.