.yeah.read this.

[dippedinblood]

so its almost 5 am. i had a terrible night. I tried to make the day work yesterday. it didnt work. Im pretty calm right now. Like i have no emotion left. I have no tears left. I cried them all out. i feel so bad, i dont try to be a bitch. I dont know how to explain to him whats wrong. I Like him. He doesnt like me. the end. I didnt want to like him. i didnt want any of this to happen. Im just overwhelmed lately bye everything and im so sensitive. I know he jokes around, but i must forget cause it hurts my heart. But whatever. I guess im done with him. he said he didnt wanna hang out with me anymore. maybe he was joking? its stuff like that, that confuses me. I make everything such a big deal. He has no idea about any of this. as far as he knows we are just friends who occasionally hang out. It pisses me off tho. any guy who talks to me all they want is sex. fuck you guys. Im not like that. I just want a guy who i can be with and yeah be friends and be assholes together. But i need someone who actually cares. Because i care and its not fair. I Catastrophise everything. i learned that in psychology. i feel so sick. Like i get myself so upset from this shit my chest starts to hurt and it feels like my heart is going to colapse. I just need to try not to care. Guys dont care. so i guess i shouldnt. my left ear is ringing. could someone be talking good about me? I highly doubt it. Men listen with their right brain! that was just on the news. i dont know what that means . but im sure its something good.

Ok. On a good note. Roofer asked me to go sledding today on the highway. HAHAHAHAHHAHA. that is tooo cute! Ill probably go. I need to do something ridiculous. If u think about it sledding is so LAME. i mean its fun when your going down the hill its like "yeah this is fun im sledding" and then you have to walk back up a huge hill. and its more like "ah what the fuck" and then you die.

I baked cookies last night. i was told they were amazing.
This is why i should be someones wife.