Actual Details of Open Car; Insert Muppet & Tiny Girl
(this won’t give away ALL the answers, I think, to the prior dialogue).
It was such a beautiful day on Saturday, I decided to pick up my wine shipment in Napa. I picked up Muppet Man and Libitina, and we loaded up two picnic baskets, two bottles of picnic wine, a few blankets, and road munchies.
We didn’t actually get up there until 2pm, so we skipped Artesa and went straight on to St. Supery; neither of which had they been to. For those of you who know (or who have gone with me), this is my standard Napa wine run. Given that they recently moved here from Atlanta, they still have quite a bit of exploring to do (and Muppet Man is a wealth of knowledge on French wines, but not so much on Napa wines).
We went up to the club tasting room, which is laced in gauzy white curtains, and not as busy to foot traffic as the big room downstairs. We were right at the end of the wine-bar, about to move on from the 2000 Dollarhide Cabernet to the 2002, when for some unknown reason, Muppet Man succumbed to demonic possession, and spewed a perfect mist across the bar that did not touch any one person, but did cover at least one full wine menu. Folks that know Muppet Man know this is a man who is never out of a fancy suit, is always the epitome of a gentleman, and has been known to smoke a pipe or two in a leisurely fashion. Never have we seen such a thing come out of Muppet Man as the Great Muppet Misting of St. Supery. Luckily, after the shock wore off (and the allergen subsided), everyone laughed instead of getting grossed out. When he raised his glass to take another sip, both Libitina and I backed away, which caused him to snarf. Again, we laughed at his expense, and again…so did everyone else.
It was right about then, that we encountered the 6 foot 2 Latino cowboy, complete in tight, tan, creased riding jeans and work-wear Stetson. As it turned out, this cowboy was the one who eventually checked us out downstairs when we picked up the wine. Libitina was scheming to get a bottle of that 2000 Dollarhide Cab at the Flirty Girl Price, but we weren’t entirely convinced yet that the Gay Guy Discount would not apply, which meant we’d have to put Muppet Man up front at the counter…but alas, I was the one with the club membership, so the flirty-flirty was left to me.
“We’ll take a bottle of the 2004 Rutherford Merlot at Re-order…two bottles of the Oak Free Chardonnay…and---“
“And a case of the 2000 Dollarhide Cab?” The cowboy teased.
“You’re cute,” I said, “But you’re not THAT cute.” I said.
“But…I wore the hat!” The cowboy said, wounded. “I thought for sure it would work!”
We all laughed, and verbally agreed that the hat worked for him, so as not to wound his pride along with the ego. Libitina piped in that I taught tango after inquiring where he was from (Mexico).
“I could pay for lessons with a case of the wine!” he said.
“You’d have to show up with the wine first,” I said.
…and we all laughed again. I love it how my friends will whore me out for tango lessons just to get a case of good wine.
We loaded up the trunk with the plundered vino-booty, and drove to Coppola’s Rubicon Estate next. borggrrl will know exactly where this is going… I introduced them first to the Lemorange Tree (see entry for The Great Lemorange Heist). I explained that I must aquire at least one Lemon and one Orange from the Lemorange tree. Libitina said, "I can climb trees!" So of course, I said, "You should climb the tree. You are tiny and cute enough, that they'll like it." Climbing the tree would have been too conspicuous of course, so instead we tried for low-hanging fruit. I used a Jedi mind trick to distract the grounds persons.
These aren't the droids you are looking for. You are tired, and want to go home...
And a lemon was in Libitina's pocket-book post haste. Unfortunately, none of the Oranges were hanging low enough to pick. So we soldiered on, knowing that indeed - it is still left up to borggrrl to snatch the mythical, magical Orange from the Great Lemorange Tree.
While sipping a glass of pinot noir, (Muppet Man had a glass of Rubicon, and Libitina had a glass of Syrah) we wandered through the gift shop to get my Carmine Thrifty Cigars, which you can only get at the vineyard (though they are made by the Avanti Cigar Company). Muppet Man tried on a straw Fedora, which looked very fetching. I tried on a cute little patchwork fop cap made by Christy's of London. Libitina said the hat had to come home with me, and I argued that I could find a similar hat for $6 at any thrift store - I'd done it once in Portland, and could do it again.
Then Muppet Man came over to argue her point, and I figured I should go look in the mirror. I did look pretty damn cute...and that was right about when Muppet Man snatched the hat away, while Libitina did her tiny-girl-best to distract me, as he bought the thing for me. "Happy Birthday!" He said. "But my birthday isn't until October..." I grumbled. "Happy EARLY Birthday!" they chimed in. "Besides, you drove." I decided it's best not to argue with a Lawyer, and thanked them for the hat, and wore it for the rest of the day. Where-ever we went, people complimented me on the hat. They were very wise to make me go home with it.
After Coppola, we headed to V. Sattui for a picnic. We stretched out on a sturdy wood picnic table under the shade of a beautiful tree, with lush green grass your toes just itch to feel, and were soon joined by the vineyard cat. The Cat is all black, with two very thick, stark white whiskers - one on either side of its face. "Now that's a black cat you could call whitey," I said. And the cat meowed consent. Contrary to what we thought, Whitey didn't want food. He just wanted some good cat-people type scratching and petting and lovin'. We obliged, and he remained with us for the rest of our picnic.
The drive home was gloriously light and airy. We dropped Libitina off at home, and headed back to my place for a glass of vino and to find suitable parking (as Saturdays in Nob Hill are notoriously evil for parking). Later, we walked down the hill to the Cigar Bar, where my hat received more compliments. We chatted and I half-watched the Holyfield-Riddick fight, which was really quite exciting considering Riddick never drops his shoulders when he throws his punches, so you can't tell what he's going to throw, unlike every other boxer I've ever seen. Not to mention, what a brick house the guy is.
It was an enjoyable evening, and not too late.
Sunday morning I was awakened by my apartment manager yelling right outside the window about someone parking in the parking spot that no one was paying for. Just at that moment, my phone began to light up: Muppet Man needed a "Car Buddy." Then he said, "Bring a scarf."
I rolled out of bed, threw on some suitable clothes, and began digging for some kind of scarfy thing...and all I could find was a bad babushka looking thing. You can't drive around in a convertible Porsche Boxster looking like a refugee. It's better to go for Jackie-O. But wait, I thought...I've got a new hat! And so the babushka was tossed, and the hat came into play.
We drove (albeit I was white-knuckled most of the drive) to Sam's in Tibouron for brunch, which was lovely. Had a split of Veuve Clicquot, Dungeness crab and jack cheese omelet, a bacon and cheddar omelet, home fries, and fruit. With a view of the Bay and surrounding hills, I spied a gorgeous southern style house on the hill with a wrap-around porch, and declared my undying love for it. Muppet Man said, "You would like that house. That's a famous Belvedere">Belvedere Landmark. It's for sale, too. Only 1.5 Million..." I said, "Champagne taste on a beer budget. It figures." Outside the city, that is by far my favorite house. Inside the city, however, 2323 Hyde, which sold for 15 Million, is still my favorite.
After, we wandered to a few shops looking for clothes for Libitina, and then wandered into Windsor - a little wine tasting place neither of us had ever heard of. Apparently their wines are from the Alexander Valley/Russian River, and though their prices are ridiculously cheap, they are incredibly good. Muppet Man bought a half case of a 2003 Alexander Valley, Sonoma County Cabernet, and a half case of brut champagne (yes, it was that good). They gave him $50 off, too. Yes, it all did fit into the trunk of the Boxster.
We drove to San Rafael for a quick peek into the Open Secret Bookstore's Mandela room, before returning to the City. We stopped at the Ferry Building to pick up some tacos from Mejitas for Libitina (at her request), Muppet Man's wine club shipment from the Wine Merchant, then headed back to their place for chatter, a sampling of the wine from the day's plundering, and to feed the tiny-girl. This went way into the evening hours, and at one point we all decided to make it a dinner event... which essentially became some delectable grilled bison tri-tip with Libitina's fancy chimichurry sauce, grilled asparagus in a balsamic reduction, and Yukon gold potatoes mashed with a yam.
"You do realize we've monopolized you for the entire weekend," Said Muppet Man. "Yes, but I enjoyed it!" I said.
When I woke up this morning I felt like I'd slept for a year.
It was such a beautiful day on Saturday, I decided to pick up my wine shipment in Napa. I picked up Muppet Man and Libitina, and we loaded up two picnic baskets, two bottles of picnic wine, a few blankets, and road munchies.
We didn’t actually get up there until 2pm, so we skipped Artesa and went straight on to St. Supery; neither of which had they been to. For those of you who know (or who have gone with me), this is my standard Napa wine run. Given that they recently moved here from Atlanta, they still have quite a bit of exploring to do (and Muppet Man is a wealth of knowledge on French wines, but not so much on Napa wines).
We went up to the club tasting room, which is laced in gauzy white curtains, and not as busy to foot traffic as the big room downstairs. We were right at the end of the wine-bar, about to move on from the 2000 Dollarhide Cabernet to the 2002, when for some unknown reason, Muppet Man succumbed to demonic possession, and spewed a perfect mist across the bar that did not touch any one person, but did cover at least one full wine menu. Folks that know Muppet Man know this is a man who is never out of a fancy suit, is always the epitome of a gentleman, and has been known to smoke a pipe or two in a leisurely fashion. Never have we seen such a thing come out of Muppet Man as the Great Muppet Misting of St. Supery. Luckily, after the shock wore off (and the allergen subsided), everyone laughed instead of getting grossed out. When he raised his glass to take another sip, both Libitina and I backed away, which caused him to snarf. Again, we laughed at his expense, and again…so did everyone else.
It was right about then, that we encountered the 6 foot 2 Latino cowboy, complete in tight, tan, creased riding jeans and work-wear Stetson. As it turned out, this cowboy was the one who eventually checked us out downstairs when we picked up the wine. Libitina was scheming to get a bottle of that 2000 Dollarhide Cab at the Flirty Girl Price, but we weren’t entirely convinced yet that the Gay Guy Discount would not apply, which meant we’d have to put Muppet Man up front at the counter…but alas, I was the one with the club membership, so the flirty-flirty was left to me.
“We’ll take a bottle of the 2004 Rutherford Merlot at Re-order…two bottles of the Oak Free Chardonnay…and---“
“And a case of the 2000 Dollarhide Cab?” The cowboy teased.
“You’re cute,” I said, “But you’re not THAT cute.” I said.
“But…I wore the hat!” The cowboy said, wounded. “I thought for sure it would work!”
We all laughed, and verbally agreed that the hat worked for him, so as not to wound his pride along with the ego. Libitina piped in that I taught tango after inquiring where he was from (Mexico).
“I could pay for lessons with a case of the wine!” he said.
“You’d have to show up with the wine first,” I said.
…and we all laughed again. I love it how my friends will whore me out for tango lessons just to get a case of good wine.
We loaded up the trunk with the plundered vino-booty, and drove to Coppola’s Rubicon Estate next. borggrrl will know exactly where this is going… I introduced them first to the Lemorange Tree (see entry for The Great Lemorange Heist). I explained that I must aquire at least one Lemon and one Orange from the Lemorange tree. Libitina said, "I can climb trees!" So of course, I said, "You should climb the tree. You are tiny and cute enough, that they'll like it." Climbing the tree would have been too conspicuous of course, so instead we tried for low-hanging fruit. I used a Jedi mind trick to distract the grounds persons.
These aren't the droids you are looking for. You are tired, and want to go home...
And a lemon was in Libitina's pocket-book post haste. Unfortunately, none of the Oranges were hanging low enough to pick. So we soldiered on, knowing that indeed - it is still left up to borggrrl to snatch the mythical, magical Orange from the Great Lemorange Tree.
While sipping a glass of pinot noir, (Muppet Man had a glass of Rubicon, and Libitina had a glass of Syrah) we wandered through the gift shop to get my Carmine Thrifty Cigars, which you can only get at the vineyard (though they are made by the Avanti Cigar Company). Muppet Man tried on a straw Fedora, which looked very fetching. I tried on a cute little patchwork fop cap made by Christy's of London. Libitina said the hat had to come home with me, and I argued that I could find a similar hat for $6 at any thrift store - I'd done it once in Portland, and could do it again.
Then Muppet Man came over to argue her point, and I figured I should go look in the mirror. I did look pretty damn cute...and that was right about when Muppet Man snatched the hat away, while Libitina did her tiny-girl-best to distract me, as he bought the thing for me. "Happy Birthday!" He said. "But my birthday isn't until October..." I grumbled. "Happy EARLY Birthday!" they chimed in. "Besides, you drove." I decided it's best not to argue with a Lawyer, and thanked them for the hat, and wore it for the rest of the day. Where-ever we went, people complimented me on the hat. They were very wise to make me go home with it.
After Coppola, we headed to V. Sattui for a picnic. We stretched out on a sturdy wood picnic table under the shade of a beautiful tree, with lush green grass your toes just itch to feel, and were soon joined by the vineyard cat. The Cat is all black, with two very thick, stark white whiskers - one on either side of its face. "Now that's a black cat you could call whitey," I said. And the cat meowed consent. Contrary to what we thought, Whitey didn't want food. He just wanted some good cat-people type scratching and petting and lovin'. We obliged, and he remained with us for the rest of our picnic.
The drive home was gloriously light and airy. We dropped Libitina off at home, and headed back to my place for a glass of vino and to find suitable parking (as Saturdays in Nob Hill are notoriously evil for parking). Later, we walked down the hill to the Cigar Bar, where my hat received more compliments. We chatted and I half-watched the Holyfield-Riddick fight, which was really quite exciting considering Riddick never drops his shoulders when he throws his punches, so you can't tell what he's going to throw, unlike every other boxer I've ever seen. Not to mention, what a brick house the guy is.
It was an enjoyable evening, and not too late.
Sunday morning I was awakened by my apartment manager yelling right outside the window about someone parking in the parking spot that no one was paying for. Just at that moment, my phone began to light up: Muppet Man needed a "Car Buddy." Then he said, "Bring a scarf."
I rolled out of bed, threw on some suitable clothes, and began digging for some kind of scarfy thing...and all I could find was a bad babushka looking thing. You can't drive around in a convertible Porsche Boxster looking like a refugee. It's better to go for Jackie-O. But wait, I thought...I've got a new hat! And so the babushka was tossed, and the hat came into play.
We drove (albeit I was white-knuckled most of the drive) to Sam's in Tibouron for brunch, which was lovely. Had a split of Veuve Clicquot, Dungeness crab and jack cheese omelet, a bacon and cheddar omelet, home fries, and fruit. With a view of the Bay and surrounding hills, I spied a gorgeous southern style house on the hill with a wrap-around porch, and declared my undying love for it. Muppet Man said, "You would like that house. That's a famous Belvedere">Belvedere Landmark. It's for sale, too. Only 1.5 Million..." I said, "Champagne taste on a beer budget. It figures." Outside the city, that is by far my favorite house. Inside the city, however, 2323 Hyde, which sold for 15 Million, is still my favorite.
After, we wandered to a few shops looking for clothes for Libitina, and then wandered into Windsor - a little wine tasting place neither of us had ever heard of. Apparently their wines are from the Alexander Valley/Russian River, and though their prices are ridiculously cheap, they are incredibly good. Muppet Man bought a half case of a 2003 Alexander Valley, Sonoma County Cabernet, and a half case of brut champagne (yes, it was that good). They gave him $50 off, too. Yes, it all did fit into the trunk of the Boxster.
We drove to San Rafael for a quick peek into the Open Secret Bookstore's Mandela room, before returning to the City. We stopped at the Ferry Building to pick up some tacos from Mejitas for Libitina (at her request), Muppet Man's wine club shipment from the Wine Merchant, then headed back to their place for chatter, a sampling of the wine from the day's plundering, and to feed the tiny-girl. This went way into the evening hours, and at one point we all decided to make it a dinner event... which essentially became some delectable grilled bison tri-tip with Libitina's fancy chimichurry sauce, grilled asparagus in a balsamic reduction, and Yukon gold potatoes mashed with a yam.
"You do realize we've monopolized you for the entire weekend," Said Muppet Man. "Yes, but I enjoyed it!" I said.
When I woke up this morning I felt like I'd slept for a year.