long time no see.
i am back and ready to vent.
[I am not to the point where I feel like I could discuss this with you, face to face. We probably couldn’t even find the time. So, if you’re reading this please don’t pretend like you don’t know who you are. Please don’t brush it off and act like everything will be okay. Please don’t make excuses and act all awkward. I really have to ask if our friendship means anything to you anymore. If it does, you seriously have a hard time showing it. We’re no longer becoming a routine, we are a routine. You never seem to find the time to call me, I always have to be the one to make the call and I always get a “can I call you back in a few minutes?” and never get one back. Even if I leave a message and say it’s important, I don’t get a call back. So I call again, and get fucking pathetic excuses as to why you haven’t returned my call. I realize a lot is going on in both of our lives, and not to sound like a bitch, but you have some problems that could have been solved a long time ago, if you wouldn’t allow yourself to be trampled on. I, on the other hand, can’t change the death of a family member. I can’t change my financial problems, which are a lot worse than they appear to be. And don’t get me wrong, I had sympathy for you. I bent over backwards to help you through your shit. I talked to you for hours on end, into the morning on school nights, listened to you cry, gave you hugs, held your hand, came to your house in my pajamas to help you find your mom…all the things a friend is there for, but when you act as if it doesn’t matter that I’ve busted my ass then I lose my sorrow for your problems. You say you don’t want your boyfriend to ruin his life, yet you are ruining your life by letting him get away with the things he does, and having to act like his fucking mother and hotel maid. You say you’re not appreciated, you don’t feel like he cares about you. I thought you were strong. I’ve never known anyone to stay in a relationship where they are underappreciated or used. I’ve never known you to be an angry person, you were always the happiest, most optimistic person, but now you seem to be the angriest one I know. I really don’t know where we stand anymore, after all I’ve done to try and salvage what we had before, I’m not feeling appreciated. I’m treated like less of a friend when I know that I have helped the most. I never saw anyone else doing as much as I tried to do for you.
By all means, don’t feel forced to call me, don’t feel forced to hang out with me, don’t feel forced to act like my friend. If you don’t want to, then maybe you should let me in on it.
Out of all this, what I hate the most is the pathetic excuses, the pain you go through, and me having to sit there and wonder what I would do without you, even though I feel like you’re already halfway gone.]
[I am not to the point where I feel like I could discuss this with you, face to face. We probably couldn’t even find the time. So, if you’re reading this please don’t pretend like you don’t know who you are. Please don’t brush it off and act like everything will be okay. Please don’t make excuses and act all awkward. I really have to ask if our friendship means anything to you anymore. If it does, you seriously have a hard time showing it. We’re no longer becoming a routine, we are a routine. You never seem to find the time to call me, I always have to be the one to make the call and I always get a “can I call you back in a few minutes?” and never get one back. Even if I leave a message and say it’s important, I don’t get a call back. So I call again, and get fucking pathetic excuses as to why you haven’t returned my call. I realize a lot is going on in both of our lives, and not to sound like a bitch, but you have some problems that could have been solved a long time ago, if you wouldn’t allow yourself to be trampled on. I, on the other hand, can’t change the death of a family member. I can’t change my financial problems, which are a lot worse than they appear to be. And don’t get me wrong, I had sympathy for you. I bent over backwards to help you through your shit. I talked to you for hours on end, into the morning on school nights, listened to you cry, gave you hugs, held your hand, came to your house in my pajamas to help you find your mom…all the things a friend is there for, but when you act as if it doesn’t matter that I’ve busted my ass then I lose my sorrow for your problems. You say you don’t want your boyfriend to ruin his life, yet you are ruining your life by letting him get away with the things he does, and having to act like his fucking mother and hotel maid. You say you’re not appreciated, you don’t feel like he cares about you. I thought you were strong. I’ve never known anyone to stay in a relationship where they are underappreciated or used. I’ve never known you to be an angry person, you were always the happiest, most optimistic person, but now you seem to be the angriest one I know. I really don’t know where we stand anymore, after all I’ve done to try and salvage what we had before, I’m not feeling appreciated. I’m treated like less of a friend when I know that I have helped the most. I never saw anyone else doing as much as I tried to do for you.
By all means, don’t feel forced to call me, don’t feel forced to hang out with me, don’t feel forced to act like my friend. If you don’t want to, then maybe you should let me in on it.
Out of all this, what I hate the most is the pathetic excuses, the pain you go through, and me having to sit there and wonder what I would do without you, even though I feel like you’re already halfway gone.]