i can do this..really..i can...

[dioraddict47]

today was pretty lame...i slept around a lot..

also went to dish it up and made a plate for our new instructor daniel with amber, ali, and christinee...its gonna be cute...

so its been 2 days...and i havent called him...and he obviously hasnt called me...i havent cried at all in the past 2 days...very surprising...

i guess im just numb to the pain now...yes it hurts, but i just cant cry anymore...maybe its because i've wasted all of my tears already...plus...whats the point of crying? its over...i need to move on...he obviously already has...

i tried to write out how i was feeling last night...this is all that came out...

I dont know what to say anymore
I dont know what to think
I dont know how to feel anymore
I don't know how to forget about you
I dont know who to turn to
I dont know who to blame
I dont know why I cry
I dont know why I hate myself
I dont know why I dont hate you
I dont know why i still love you

My heart is broken
and I dont know how to fix it...

pretty depressing huh? well thats because im a depressed person...im also a very confused person....i just need to get away, NOW! i am most definitely NOT dating anybody this summer! this summer, its just gonna be about ME, and making MYSELF better...i think that is definitely the smart thing to do...and it may sound selfish, but for once in my life, im gonna do something for myself...sorry if anybody has a problem with that...u will just haf2 deal with it...

im tired of being the nice girl that i've always been....letting people walk all over me...being too scared to stick up for myself...no more of that

im over it...