fic: Blame
Yet another drabble writting for the Kissing Battle.
bottle_of_shine requested Baralai/Gippal, and of course, her wish is my command.
Sometimes Baralai wakes in the middle of the night for no reason at all.
It's frustrating, but there's really nothing he can do about it. He used to stay in bed, tossing and turning until dawn, but now he knows that would wake Gippal. Instead he gets up and goes to stand on the balcony, staring out over the ocean, all lit up with the lights of Bevelle. It's really very pretty, Baralai thinks, pulling his robe tighter around himself against the cool wind.
The most frustrating thing about these bouts of insomnia is that at one in the morning there is nothing for him to distract himself with. He has nothing to do but think, and invariably, they aren't positive thoughts. Often they are thoughts of guilt and regret. He thinks of all the lies he has told and the mistakes he's made. But mostly he remembers the whisper of pyreflies and watching his own hands wreak havoc on the world and the people he loves.
"Baralai?"
He's not used to anyone snapping him out of it.
Baralai starts as arms snake around his waist. He turns in the embrace, smiling tiredly into Gippal's worried face.
"You couldn't sleep?"
Baralai shrugs. "I'm fine."
But Gippal won't break eye contact - it scares Baralai, sometimes, that many of the lies that worked so well on others seem as transparent as glass to Gippal.
"You'd blame yourself for all the wrongs in Spira, if you could." Gippal's one shocking green eye glitters in the starlight, something out of a romantic novel; dark and intense, fixed on Baralai to make absolutely sure he hears these next words. "It's over, 'Lai. It's done."
There's something lodged in Baralai's throat that he knows, if he tried to talk, would make his words come out choked and shaky. So he doesn't try. He leans into Gippal's kiss, willing the stinging behind his eyes to fade.
It doesn't solve all his problems. Memories of Shuyin are still there, hissing venomous thoughts in the back of Baralai's mind. Memories of the pyreflies' lights still burn behind his eyelids. But if nothing else, kissing Gippal makes the whole world disappear for just a few moments. It's bliss - nothing but the movement of their lips and the slide of their tongues and the warmth of their breath.
When at last Gippal pulls away, Baralai leans further, trying to follow. Gippal smiles against his lips and murmurs, "Come back to bed."
Somehow, Baralai can do nothing but obey.
bottle_of_shine requested Baralai/Gippal, and of course, her wish is my command.
Sometimes Baralai wakes in the middle of the night for no reason at all.
It's frustrating, but there's really nothing he can do about it. He used to stay in bed, tossing and turning until dawn, but now he knows that would wake Gippal. Instead he gets up and goes to stand on the balcony, staring out over the ocean, all lit up with the lights of Bevelle. It's really very pretty, Baralai thinks, pulling his robe tighter around himself against the cool wind.
The most frustrating thing about these bouts of insomnia is that at one in the morning there is nothing for him to distract himself with. He has nothing to do but think, and invariably, they aren't positive thoughts. Often they are thoughts of guilt and regret. He thinks of all the lies he has told and the mistakes he's made. But mostly he remembers the whisper of pyreflies and watching his own hands wreak havoc on the world and the people he loves.
"Baralai?"
He's not used to anyone snapping him out of it.
Baralai starts as arms snake around his waist. He turns in the embrace, smiling tiredly into Gippal's worried face.
"You couldn't sleep?"
Baralai shrugs. "I'm fine."
But Gippal won't break eye contact - it scares Baralai, sometimes, that many of the lies that worked so well on others seem as transparent as glass to Gippal.
"You'd blame yourself for all the wrongs in Spira, if you could." Gippal's one shocking green eye glitters in the starlight, something out of a romantic novel; dark and intense, fixed on Baralai to make absolutely sure he hears these next words. "It's over, 'Lai. It's done."
There's something lodged in Baralai's throat that he knows, if he tried to talk, would make his words come out choked and shaky. So he doesn't try. He leans into Gippal's kiss, willing the stinging behind his eyes to fade.
It doesn't solve all his problems. Memories of Shuyin are still there, hissing venomous thoughts in the back of Baralai's mind. Memories of the pyreflies' lights still burn behind his eyelids. But if nothing else, kissing Gippal makes the whole world disappear for just a few moments. It's bliss - nothing but the movement of their lips and the slide of their tongues and the warmth of their breath.
When at last Gippal pulls away, Baralai leans further, trying to follow. Gippal smiles against his lips and murmurs, "Come back to bed."
Somehow, Baralai can do nothing but obey.