It's Not Christmas Without You - An NCIS Fanfiction - Tibbs_Yuletide Calendar Day 10
Title: It's Not Christmas Without You
Author: dinozzoitis aka Violetwarnercobalt aka this_years_me
Author's Notes: Written for the 2014 tibbs_yuletide advent calendar. This was inspired by a small insignificant moment in my street that inspired produced a plot bunny.
Warning: Slash, slight angst (when aren't my fics slightly angsty but it isn't a full on angst, it ends happy I swear).
Spoilers: None, apologies if I accidentally missed something though.
Characters/Pairings: Tony/Gibbs, Team (Ducky, Jimmy, McGee & Abby)
Rating: PG
Genre/Category: Romance, Holiday, Fluff, Slight Angst, Song Fic.
Word Count: 2,014
Disclaimer: I do not own or am in any way affiliated with those that own NCIS, nor am I connected to the show's cast and crew. Also I do not own the song 'It's Not Christmas Without You' Performed by Katherine McPhee. This is written out of pure enjoyment and absolutely no money is being made from its creation.
Summary: There are times when we don't get the thing we really want for Christmas, and then there are other times when a little miracle happens and dreams come true.
It's Not Christmas Without You.
DiNozzo sat in his car, parked two houses down from Leroy Jethro Gibbs' house. he was rugged up tightly in his warmest winter clothes, scarf wrapped thrice around his neck, the heating in his car on full blast, radio playing Christmas songs softly in the background.
He watched as flakes of snow drifted through the air and landed on his car and the road in front of him, taking a moment to wallow in a bit of holiday angst.
There were only a few things Tony enjoyed about the holiday season, and this year his melancholy wasn't letting him enjoy a single moment of it.
He should have been inside his boss' house with the rest of the team, or what was left of it after Ziva had abandoned them. Tony was finding it hard to work up enough energy to force on his normal happy go lucky mask to go inside the house though.
It wasn't that he didn't love the people inside, he loved them all more than he could have imagined when he transferred to NCIS from Baltimore P.D, and the problem was he loved one of them more than the others.
He knew logically that Gibbs loved him too; they had been seeing each other for so long now he couldn't remember what life was like not being with the Silver Fox.
The problem was that Gibbs had every time the topic was brought up, literally for years, always found an excuse not to tell the rest of the team about their relationship.
At first the ex-cop could understand, Gibbs was a marine (there was no ex's when it came to marine's... except for wives) and they both worked for an organisation that dealt with the military so with Don't Ask Don’t Tell in place it wasn't the smartest idea. Then when it was repealed and Vance was in charge it wasn't smart for them what with Gibbs being his boss.
Frankly though, it hurt DiNozzo that his lover wouldn't tell their friends, the people who were the closest thing to family either of them had for quite some time.
In his mind the reason Gibbs refused to tell anyone about them was that he was embarrassed by his senior field agent.
He sighed at the thought and stared out of the windscreen at the lights of the Christmas tree he had helped Gibbs put up twinkle through the window of his house two doors down.
He could see the cars of his co-workers parked outside, everyone was there already. Gibbs hadn't wanted Tony to be the first one there just in case anyone got suspicious. He had been there all day helping set up but 2 hours before the team were meant to be arriving his lover had shuffled him out of the door and told him to go entertain himself until everyone had started to arrive.
He had driven around for a bit, looking for something to kill time, in the end though he had just ended up circling the block again and again, hiding his car in the next street over when he saw one of the others approach the house.
By the time they had all arrived Tony was feeling less and less excited about their group Christmas together, and more and more depressed and withdrawn.
Sitting there in his car, wallowing, his keen sense of hearing picked up the opening strands of a new song just beginning on the radio. Leaning forwarded he turned up the dial for the radio and slouched back in his seat to listen for a bit.
"Year's almost over,
Sure looks like December,
Snow and Ice on the Ground,
I haven't sent a single Christmas card.
The 31st is coming round.
That makes me remember
Our last December
How the city looked
So beautiful in white
As we walked the streets
That day you kept me warm
We couldn't wait to get inside."
His eyes started misting up at the lyrics, he thought back to last year, when he had convinced Gibbs to go for a walk with him to look at all the Christmas lights in the streets surrounding the older man's house.
There was a moment during their walk; when Tony was wracked with a bout of shivering from the cold air despite being rugged up in layers of thick winter clothing, that Gibbs had placed an arm around his lover's shoulder and drew him into a tight embrace, keeping him warm until they made it back home where they spent the night making passionate love to keep Tony’s chills away.
"Now it's Christmas
And you're so far away
On this Christmas
I just wished you had stayed
And I wonder if you're
Thinking of me today
I don't know what I'll do
It's not Christmas without you
Yeah, you"
Tony had never felt as much love as he did that night. This year though felt different, he felt a loss even though his lover would be in arms reach.
They would be together, but not actually together. Tony didn't know how he would make it through the night without Gibbs' arms to keep him warm.
"I hear carollers in the distance
Don't wanna listen
'Cause every sound says
You're not here
Just in case you change your mind
I'll leave a light over the door
And hope you suddenly appear"
Tightening up his scarf tony turned off the car and stepped out into the bitter night air.
As he walked towards the door he had passed through many times, he steeled himself up and put on his game face, taking a moment for a deep breath, eyes closed, the sound of joyful Christmas music from the other side clenching at his heart.
He could do this, he kept telling himself. One day he may be able to walk through the door and not have to lie to his friends about the love of his life. but until then he would smile and laugh just as his mother had taught him to do at all those horrid parties his father used to throw when he was younger.
He would put on a mask and not spoil anyone else's holiday.
He clenched his fist tighter than necessary and rapped on the door, even though he knew it was unlocked and he could just slip in.
"'Cause it's Christmas
And you're so far away
On this Christmas
I just wished you had stayed
And I wonder if you're
Thinking of me today, yeah
I don't know what I'll do
It's not Christmas without you"
It was Gibbs that opened the door and for a brief second the mask slipped from his face and Tony’s hand ached to reach out for his lover.
The silver haired host had a concerned look upon his face for a moment but they both put their masks back in place as an over excited Goth in an elf hat bounded towards the door and dragged Tony into the living room by his arm.
Everyone was there, smiling and laughing, drinking and being merry as they were meant to do during the holiday.
A melancholy smile tightened Tony's features. He wished he could be as happy as them, wished he was so carefree, but he felt like he was losing Gibbs with each day they were hiding themselves.
He took a seat on the sofa which the two men had made love on many times, including last Christmas, and sat back to watch everyone. Tony didn't notice Gibbs reaching under the tree to grab the boxes he had carefully wrapped after Tony had left that afternoon.
One by one Gibbs handed the gifts out to everyone but Tony, the last Gibbs kept firmly in his hands.
"What about Tony's" McGee had asked when the older man had instructed everyone to open their gifts, and not to say a word or reveal what was inside until he said so.
"Soon." was his only reply.
One by one the members of Team Gibbs opened up their gifts, matching looks of confusion at first followed by wide eyed realisation.
Abby was practically bouncing in place clamping her mouth shut to keep her excited squeals from escaping.
Tony, however, tried to ignore it all, once again he felt as though he was slipping away from Gibbs. The man hadn't even included him in part of the surprise. He pretended to pick off invisible lint from his perfectly tailored shirt.
The Italian had to close his eyes tightly to stop the tears that threatened to fall, as Abby's muffled excitement became harder to hold back.
He felt a firm finger lift his chin and he was suddenly faced to face with Gibbs who was kneeling down in front of him.
"I'm too old to believe in Santa Claus
Or to even...
..
Or maybe it’s a dream
Or has he really brought you back to me"
The two held each other’s gazes for what felt like a lifetime, everything that had ever happened between them, the good and the bad, ran through Tony's mind as though it was a television clip show.
Tony's heart stopped as the ex-Marine brought out a dark blue box and opened it for tony, revealing a beautiful silver ring with a matte black band in the centre.
"What do you say Tone? Will you marry me?"
"It's Christmas
All I wanted this year
On this Christmas
Was for you to be near
I won't wonder
If you're thinking of me
'Cause you're here"
He couldn't say anything, couldn't find the words, Tony could only nod, stunned at his lover's sudden proposal.
Before he knew it the ring was slipped on to his finger and he was being pulled up and into the embrace he had needed more than anything he had ever needed in his life.
Party poppers went off behind the two men and cheers of excitement shook the house. there two man hug soon became a three person hug as Abby joined them, McGee, Ducky and Jimmy offering more restrained but still excited congratulations with pats on the shoulder and handshakes.
"What was in the box" Tony asked Gibbs as the group had settled down a bit and ducky handed over the gift Gibbs had handed out.
He looked inside and there was a card and a now empty party popper. The outside of the card had black 12 crossed out with a thick red line. Tony's brow furrowed, slowly he pulled out the card and opened it, inside was a photo, one of the only 'couple' photos there was of him and Gibbs together, and a message that read:
"Sorry we never told you, it was me and not Tony, he wanted to but I was afraid, I am going to make it up to him now though and I want you all to be a part of it for his sake, don't say a word until he does, you will know what to do with the remaining gift in this box when it happens. - Gibbs"
Tony’s eyes watered up again, this time they were happy tears and not sad. He pulled his lover in close to him and passionately kissed him, a sense of relief washed over both of them that they could now show their love for each other in front of the team.
"My one wish has come true"
Later that night, after they had finally sent everyone home, the two men lay naked, in each other's arms in Gibbs' bed, content with the silence.
They were both drifting off, smiles still gracing their faces, when tony turned to look at his fiancé "Thank you" he whispered, eyes glistening with tears once again.
Gibbs placed a soft peck into the man’s soft brown hair and held on to him tighter "No, thank you Tony."
They slipped into a deep sleep, not once separating from the other's hold. The ring on Tony’s finger caught the beam of light through the crack in through the window from the moon outside making it sparkle like a star in the night sky. At last all was right.
"It's no longer Christmas without you”