Fate
Title: Fate
Rating: PG
Pairing: Junho/Taecyeon
Summary: Online dating is full of secrets.
A/N: I haven't written in a year and this was hard for me. It's choppy and missing a lot of probably could've written but take this as a rise to my comeback.
Advertisements flashing on the sides of the webpages, big bold letters covering most of the banner along with a photo of a happy customer. “Join today! Meet other singles!” Most continue on their way of whatever they're looking for, scrolling passed the obnoxious ads but some are caught with curiosity. It's only a click away from meeting your soul mate, you life partner or so they say.
A few clicks, short summaries here and there along with some half truths and Taecyeon found himself with a nicely written profile. He scanned over the words numerous times as he was nervous, he had never been on a dating site before and posting a profile could end his career if he wasn't careful. Of course, he couldn't sound like the perfect man. He had made himself sound a little flawed along with some good traits. Excluding his profession as a singer/dancer/actor, he simply wrote that he was employed with a full-time job.
Not being able to post a photo, more than a few messages came in and he frowned when seeing some were rather desperate, looking for a mate for one nights worth of pleasure. He should've had expected it but it still disappointed him. Closing his laptop, he went on to bed hoping that maybe more educated, committed women would message him.
He felt more than excited to come home to look at his inbox but again, more disappointment followed. As a few messages were exchanged back and forth, he wasn't finding the connection he was looking for despite the little conversation he was having with these women. Finding that spark was only meant for movies and being an actor, Taecyeon knew a lot about that. Most of what people expected in relationships were only fabricated by the entertainment industry but he, himself, was guilty of falling into it's trap.
“Is it so hard to find love?”
Junho turned to his groupmate and chuckled, patting the male's back, “It'll come in time. Having schedules like this makes it really hard to make time for other people, let alone meeting them. When the time is right.”
Taecyeon couldn't help but roll his eyes as the cliché line was delivered to him. What was next, there are plenty of fish in the sea? Finding a partner in Korea while being a famous idol was a difficult position. He already had trust issues and if were to date another idol, despite the two of them wanting it to be more secret, it would be found out in a matter of minutes. He liked his private life without prying eyes. Their fanbase had stretched quite a bit and he was sure if he had been seen with a girl at any point, rumors would start. How could he go on a date?
His question was answered one night when a messaged popped up from his email. A simple but interesting reply had come from the dating site he had signed up to months prior. Hours went by and Taecyeon hadn't realized the time until a yawn snuck up on him. He quickly apologized to the woman he was messaging as he said that he had to sleep, busy schedules and all. She let him go with a smiley face added to her last reply, “Let's talk again!”
Taecyeon found himself lucky with his new chat friend as she had seemed to be busy at the right times. She didn't mind his extended periods of leaving as they as they were able to speak again, “Reply whenever!” He felt himself growing closer to this woman as they shared laughs and the events of their days despite keeping his job a secret, he was able to tell her without giving away too many details.
One late night, she proposed something that he wasn't too sure about, “Do you want to... you know?” Taecyeon knew what she had meant because he could feel it growing warmer in his bedroom. They had exchanged measurements for the lack of images on both their pages. He knew anyone could lie about what they looked like and he had hoped this wasn't someone, who he was investing so much time and interest in, who was taking him for granted. Trying not to sound too awkward about the situation, he typed in his reply, “Okay.”
When he had finally gone to bed, it was very late and he was lucky to have slept the three hours he had left before getting up for the morning schedules. “You look really tired.. So does Junho, did you guys have a tough night?” Minjun asked as they had gotten together for a 2PM meet.
“Junho?” Taecyeon raised a brow before looking at the younger male, seeing his tired eyes staring off at nothing. He almost missed them living all together as they were able to take part in each other's lives a little better. Now he felt as if they were all on different parts of their lives despite still being a group. He walked over and smacked the other male on the back, “Wake up, didn't you sleep well?”
A deep grunt left Junho's raspy throat and he looked up at the tall member with a sleepy glare, “It was a long night.” The sudden look on his face along with a faint reddish tint caused him to look away, wondering what had Junho embarrassed.
Dragging himself home after the busy day, he dropped himself onto his bed until hearing the chime on his phone. “Hey beautiful, how was your day?” A smile crept onto his lips as he rolled onto his side and replied, explaining how exhausted he was but happy to hear from her. He had felt tired but when they began to talk, he woke up more. This was something he looked forward to every day.
Two months later from the first day that the message was sent, a date was set for the two to meet in person. Taecyeon was nervous, trembling because he wasn't sure what to expect from this person. Would they freak out when they discover who he is? Would they turn him down because they wouldn't want to date an idol or maybe use him and blackmail him later? He hoped there was good people somewhere that would be loyal.
The cafe was the best spot to meet someone and since they both shared a love for coffee, it was the ideal location. Taecyeon was able to hide himself well with his hat and scarf as the cool air had moved in for the fall month. Instead of sitting the cafe, he waited outside in a less obvious spot. People were walking back and forth, the traffic not so busy so if she did have a freak out moment, it wouldn't spark a lot of attention. He glanced at his watch as it ticked on and he adjusted the scarf, “Maybe she's just running late?”
--------------------
Junho's jaw dropped as he was standing in a shop, looking out the window to see his fellow groupmate standing across the walkway. “I'll be wearing a gray jacket and black cap so you can find me.” His heart raced in his chest as he reread the message on his phone. There was no way that this person, the person he had been messaging back and forth was Taecyeon, his best friend.
It was out of curiosity that Junho had decided to make a profile on a dating site except he had changed a few thing about himself, one being that he was female. He started to question his sexuality shortly after he had moved out of the villa, becoming lonely without his other members around but then he discovered something else. There was something he was lacking and being with female dancers constantly, he noticed something missing that was meant to be there; the attraction. Studying the form and grace that a woman had didn't interest him as much as watching the muscular body of his male dancers flex, twist and roll. Living with other men hadn't helped his confusion. Being gay was taboo in Korea, a sin and he couldn't be caught experimenting on his own.
Which started the lying on his profile. Of course, he wasn't daring enough to message anyone when he first made the page but he had more than a handful of men trying to hit on him. He couldn't help but laugh, “If only they knew the truth.” With no profile photo, he had to make up a body image he thought would suit his personality. Someone shorter than average with a fun personality, or at least, he thoughts so.
Some time had passed and he was growing bored of the site and not finding anything too particularly interesting. It was kind of difficult when he was a man pretending to be a woman. Most of the men he spoke to wanted to meet less than a week of talking and he definitely could not do that. He didn't know what would've been worse; showing up and being a man or being a man and a idol. A profile caught his attention and he felt interested in the male, seeing that he was always immersed in busy schedules. Perhaps this man wouldn't pester him to meet up.
The man was becoming more and more interesting with his small habits, actions and daily life events. Junho found himself distracted from his idol life as he wanted to just laze around and talk to his new companion. Not once through the first month that they spoke was meeting up being pushed on him. He spent countless nights up almost until the sunrise.
His confidence and nerve had somehow shot up the night he had asked the man if he wanted to do something inappropriate. Messaging the man was already a big bold step that Junho hadn't mentally prepared himself for but now, almost two months later, he couldn't help but let his hormones do the talking. He wondered if the man he was talking to had the same interest as they were, in fact, that men and had urges. To his surprise, his question had been answered with a simple, “Okay.” It was tough for him to act as if he was a woman, saying things he was doing but not. Would the man he was talking to know any different, he wouldn't, right? That night had ended late with the result he had hoped for.
Spent and tired the next morning, he hated that anytime he was up late with his man, he always had something to do in the morning. A painful slap caused his shoulderblade to sting and he looked up to see Taecyeon, looking the same as himself. Indicating that he had had a long night, his cheeks flushed pink as he recalled the event. He had felt really good and it was not something he had done often, if not at all. It was something dirty.
Heading home to his apartment, he fed the hungry beasts he called cats and crawled onto his bed. “Shower...” he mumbled to himself, pulling himself up after a few seconds to quickly wash. Once out, wrapped in a towel and laying on the bed once again, he messaged the man on his phone. It was like a form of therapy to know about the other person's day, hearing about their tiresome schedule and knowing he wasn't the only one winding down.
Getting to know the man had really excited Junho and he really wanted to meet him but he was anxious. He set up a date but really wasn't sure how it would play out. Going through many scenarios in his mind did not help to settle any bit of his anxiety. If it was going to ruin things, it would be for the best because Junho couldn't continue leading this man on.
He couldn't believe his eyes as he stared out the window as it was none other than Taecyeon standing just outside the cafe they were supposed to meet at. Fumbling with his phone, he typed in a message and watched to see if he would get the reaction he wasn't hoping for. His heart sank as Taecyeon pulled his phone from his pocket, reading then relaying a disappointment look on his face before leaving the spot. Junho looked down at his phone as it buzzed in his hand, “That's too bad that you're running late. I was looking forward to meeting you.”
Junho left the cafe and hours later, met up with a few of the group member for a drink. It had been a while since they had been together and just relaxed. He sat down at the table, flashing a smile before seeing Taecyeon come in a few minutes later, looking bothered. Nichkhun bugged him with questions but the man wouldn't budge, just saying he had a bad morning when he rolled out of bed. He wondered if now it would be awkward before realizing that he was the only one that knew. The two of them would be heart broken but it would only be him that knew that Taecyeon's possible love had stood him up because he was too scared to reveal that he was a man.
The man and woman would never talk again.
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Setting the record straight, Junho made a profile true to form, minus the little fact that he was an idol. Again, without an image. He joined a different community in which he was able to make a male profile seeking a male companion. This made him feel even more nervous as at least with his fake page, he knew what to expect and to fish out the fakes but this community was new to him. He had a few curious people and he explained that this was his first time stepping “out of the closet”. There were some messages he wished he hadn't seen, some that hurt his heart even if they hadn't even really spoke. This part of the community was rough.
He had spent a month on the site, finding himself in the same position as the first, clicking away at another hopeless profile until a message popped up. As he gave anyone a chance, he replied to the message. A couple days had gone by before he had received another reply by the same person. They began to talk regularly but not every day and Junho found himself starting to wait impatiently for the next message. As time progressed, though, their talks became more frequent and he felt more hope.
This time, he wasn't lying and if he had met up with the other man, at least he wouldn't have to worry about his gender. Things were different than the last time, this man being a little more open about his schedules of shoots and meetings. Sometimes they wouldn't talk for a few days and Junho worried that he had lost the other man's interest before he would pop up and assure him that he hadn't. He told Junho that he was starting to like him and wanted to meet up.
Heart pounding in his chest, he was the first to arrive at the location, a hot soup shop surrounded by a park where snow and ice sculptures were being made. Families with young children were in the busy area and Junho hid his nose in his scarf. Dress code wasn't noted this time but he jolted when he felt a tap on the shoulder, “Jin?”
Junho slowly turned, not realizing he'd be caught as he was hiding and waiting to scout out the person he was meeting. His heart sank again as their eyes met, staring at the taller man as he received a mirroring look.
“Junho,” Taecyeon whispered softly in surprise.
“What... Are you doing here?” he muttered, 'And how did you know my username?'
The other was silent for a couple minutes, only staring at Junho before he replied, “I'm Tako.”
He couldn't believe his ears, this had to be some kind of joke. Tako was the username of the man he was talking to. Did Taecyeon find out that Junho had played him the first time and was now getting revenge? He had kept himself well behaved this time. He couldn't stomach this cruel joke as his feelings were becoming crushed for the second time. His eyes began to sting and instead of letting the tears fall from his eyes, he turned and was about to walk away before Taecyeon grabbed him. Not wanting to make a scene, he followed as the older dragged him away from the busy area to an area in the park that was hidden by pine trees.
A grunt left him as he was pressed against the memorial wall, looking at Taecyeon with widened eyes. The older looked angry, “Is this some kind of joke, Junho?”
“I want to ask the same thing...” His voice was shaky and he cursed at it.
“Why were you on that site?”
He laughed and felt the tear dripping down his cheek, “Same thing you were doing, unless it was just to play around with people.” The words came out of his mouth faster than he could think. He was being the hypocrite here but Taecyeon didn't know that secret. It was something he wanted to bury with him.
“Junho.. You're... For how long?”
The question stumped Junho, “For how long what?”
“How long have you been like this?”
Was it a good idea to spill his secrets already? He knew and trusted Taecyeon but they were still in a group together and if the older was just there to mock him, “I'm not telling you anything unless I know your feelings are true.”
He swallowed the saliva gathering in his mouth as Taecyeon came closer, pinning him to the wall and slowly inching forward. The tall male's breath was warm on his lips and he quickly closed his eyes tightly, his heart thumping in his chest. He had done a fair few of kisses for show with the other members but this wasn't the same. What he didn't see with his eyes closed was Taecyeon's small smile, reaching forward to lift his chin before kissing the corner of his lips. As he felt the soft press, Junho opened his eyes.
“That's it?”
Taecyeon's laugh was loud as he stepped back, “I'm new at this, okay? I've never kissed a guy with feeling before.”
Junho nodded and bit into the corner of his lip, he hadn't either. “So... Now... What do we do?”
“Let's go back to your place.” He stifled his laugh as Junho's eyes widened, “Since we already know each other, wouldn't it be easier to just be comfortable at your house?” He knew the other male had been thinking they'd jump straight to sex, how cliché.
“O-oh, right. Yeah, we'll be safe there.”
The two of them walked back to Junho's apartment, questions flooding each others minds as they couldn't wait to get there. Junho had seen too many movies recently where feelings were confessed and it would quickly progress into heated kissing then- he swallowed a large lump.
“You need to relax, Junho. I may be a guy but I'm not going to jump you. We just found out about each other and even though I think you're good looking, I have respect for you.” Taecyeon noticed how tense the other was when they walked in and took their shoes off. He had given Junho a gentle push forward so they could proceed into the living room instead of talking in the entry way.
“Sorry... I just haven't thought this through. I've read too much, seen too many movies that I don't actually know what to do in a situation like this.” He sat down on the couch, still in his jacket and scarf and Taecyeon sighed.
“Relax. For the first little bit, it'll be like normal. We're not going to jump into anything until we learn more about each other. I mean, obvious I know a lot about you but there's also a lot I don't know.” The tall male helped Junho take his winter clothing off before his own as he set them on the other side of the couch and he sat down.
It was on the edge of his tongue to tell Taecyeon about deceiving him the first time but he couldn't. The situation was big enough on it's own. He stared down at his hands, feeling nervous for the first time in a long time around Taecyeon. The other male sensed the atmosphere.
“It seemed like this might be a bit easier since we knew each other but it's not,” he let out a soft chuckle. “You didn't answer my question though, Junho. How did you know?”
Junho softly chewed on his lower lip, “It was around the time I moved out.. And realized something was missing.”
The two males exchanged stories, finding it easier to talk as they had a lot in common as they lived together for so long. Taecyeon had admitted to finding both genders attractive but his last dating site experience hadn't gone well for him. Junho tried to offer his sympathy but the other male just waved it off and said now he hoped he could forget about it. The younger blushed a soft shade of pink.
“I hope we can make this work... I mean, this'll be hard for the both of us.”
Taecyeon nodded, knowing this was true. From being both men to being men and idols. While being from the same group might have it's conveniences, it was inconveniencing as well. They were both equally busy and with Junho on his solo tour and he himself filming, meeting up would be difficult. “At least we can visit each other without people questioning it.”
The thought made Junho smile as he nodded. They continued to talk before Junho quietly asked for a request, “Can we kiss?” He felt like it would commemorate their meeting and being his first real kiss with someone he knew and liked.
A light blush covered Taecyeon's cheeks as he heard the question, thinking about it for a moment before deciding that it wouldn't hurt. “Come here,” he said softly, urging Junho to move closer and his arm slipped around the smaller male's shoulders. He cupped his cheek, leaning in slowly before their lips met. Lingering for a moment, Junho's lips parted and Taecyeon began to suckle softly, hearing the other give a sign of approval to press forward for a deeper kiss.
Rating: PG
Pairing: Junho/Taecyeon
Summary: Online dating is full of secrets.
A/N: I haven't written in a year and this was hard for me. It's choppy and missing a lot of probably could've written but take this as a rise to my comeback.
Advertisements flashing on the sides of the webpages, big bold letters covering most of the banner along with a photo of a happy customer. “Join today! Meet other singles!” Most continue on their way of whatever they're looking for, scrolling passed the obnoxious ads but some are caught with curiosity. It's only a click away from meeting your soul mate, you life partner or so they say.
A few clicks, short summaries here and there along with some half truths and Taecyeon found himself with a nicely written profile. He scanned over the words numerous times as he was nervous, he had never been on a dating site before and posting a profile could end his career if he wasn't careful. Of course, he couldn't sound like the perfect man. He had made himself sound a little flawed along with some good traits. Excluding his profession as a singer/dancer/actor, he simply wrote that he was employed with a full-time job.
Not being able to post a photo, more than a few messages came in and he frowned when seeing some were rather desperate, looking for a mate for one nights worth of pleasure. He should've had expected it but it still disappointed him. Closing his laptop, he went on to bed hoping that maybe more educated, committed women would message him.
He felt more than excited to come home to look at his inbox but again, more disappointment followed. As a few messages were exchanged back and forth, he wasn't finding the connection he was looking for despite the little conversation he was having with these women. Finding that spark was only meant for movies and being an actor, Taecyeon knew a lot about that. Most of what people expected in relationships were only fabricated by the entertainment industry but he, himself, was guilty of falling into it's trap.
“Is it so hard to find love?”
Junho turned to his groupmate and chuckled, patting the male's back, “It'll come in time. Having schedules like this makes it really hard to make time for other people, let alone meeting them. When the time is right.”
Taecyeon couldn't help but roll his eyes as the cliché line was delivered to him. What was next, there are plenty of fish in the sea? Finding a partner in Korea while being a famous idol was a difficult position. He already had trust issues and if were to date another idol, despite the two of them wanting it to be more secret, it would be found out in a matter of minutes. He liked his private life without prying eyes. Their fanbase had stretched quite a bit and he was sure if he had been seen with a girl at any point, rumors would start. How could he go on a date?
His question was answered one night when a messaged popped up from his email. A simple but interesting reply had come from the dating site he had signed up to months prior. Hours went by and Taecyeon hadn't realized the time until a yawn snuck up on him. He quickly apologized to the woman he was messaging as he said that he had to sleep, busy schedules and all. She let him go with a smiley face added to her last reply, “Let's talk again!”
Taecyeon found himself lucky with his new chat friend as she had seemed to be busy at the right times. She didn't mind his extended periods of leaving as they as they were able to speak again, “Reply whenever!” He felt himself growing closer to this woman as they shared laughs and the events of their days despite keeping his job a secret, he was able to tell her without giving away too many details.
One late night, she proposed something that he wasn't too sure about, “Do you want to... you know?” Taecyeon knew what she had meant because he could feel it growing warmer in his bedroom. They had exchanged measurements for the lack of images on both their pages. He knew anyone could lie about what they looked like and he had hoped this wasn't someone, who he was investing so much time and interest in, who was taking him for granted. Trying not to sound too awkward about the situation, he typed in his reply, “Okay.”
When he had finally gone to bed, it was very late and he was lucky to have slept the three hours he had left before getting up for the morning schedules. “You look really tired.. So does Junho, did you guys have a tough night?” Minjun asked as they had gotten together for a 2PM meet.
“Junho?” Taecyeon raised a brow before looking at the younger male, seeing his tired eyes staring off at nothing. He almost missed them living all together as they were able to take part in each other's lives a little better. Now he felt as if they were all on different parts of their lives despite still being a group. He walked over and smacked the other male on the back, “Wake up, didn't you sleep well?”
A deep grunt left Junho's raspy throat and he looked up at the tall member with a sleepy glare, “It was a long night.” The sudden look on his face along with a faint reddish tint caused him to look away, wondering what had Junho embarrassed.
Dragging himself home after the busy day, he dropped himself onto his bed until hearing the chime on his phone. “Hey beautiful, how was your day?” A smile crept onto his lips as he rolled onto his side and replied, explaining how exhausted he was but happy to hear from her. He had felt tired but when they began to talk, he woke up more. This was something he looked forward to every day.
Two months later from the first day that the message was sent, a date was set for the two to meet in person. Taecyeon was nervous, trembling because he wasn't sure what to expect from this person. Would they freak out when they discover who he is? Would they turn him down because they wouldn't want to date an idol or maybe use him and blackmail him later? He hoped there was good people somewhere that would be loyal.
The cafe was the best spot to meet someone and since they both shared a love for coffee, it was the ideal location. Taecyeon was able to hide himself well with his hat and scarf as the cool air had moved in for the fall month. Instead of sitting the cafe, he waited outside in a less obvious spot. People were walking back and forth, the traffic not so busy so if she did have a freak out moment, it wouldn't spark a lot of attention. He glanced at his watch as it ticked on and he adjusted the scarf, “Maybe she's just running late?”
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Junho's jaw dropped as he was standing in a shop, looking out the window to see his fellow groupmate standing across the walkway. “I'll be wearing a gray jacket and black cap so you can find me.” His heart raced in his chest as he reread the message on his phone. There was no way that this person, the person he had been messaging back and forth was Taecyeon, his best friend.
It was out of curiosity that Junho had decided to make a profile on a dating site except he had changed a few thing about himself, one being that he was female. He started to question his sexuality shortly after he had moved out of the villa, becoming lonely without his other members around but then he discovered something else. There was something he was lacking and being with female dancers constantly, he noticed something missing that was meant to be there; the attraction. Studying the form and grace that a woman had didn't interest him as much as watching the muscular body of his male dancers flex, twist and roll. Living with other men hadn't helped his confusion. Being gay was taboo in Korea, a sin and he couldn't be caught experimenting on his own.
Which started the lying on his profile. Of course, he wasn't daring enough to message anyone when he first made the page but he had more than a handful of men trying to hit on him. He couldn't help but laugh, “If only they knew the truth.” With no profile photo, he had to make up a body image he thought would suit his personality. Someone shorter than average with a fun personality, or at least, he thoughts so.
Some time had passed and he was growing bored of the site and not finding anything too particularly interesting. It was kind of difficult when he was a man pretending to be a woman. Most of the men he spoke to wanted to meet less than a week of talking and he definitely could not do that. He didn't know what would've been worse; showing up and being a man or being a man and a idol. A profile caught his attention and he felt interested in the male, seeing that he was always immersed in busy schedules. Perhaps this man wouldn't pester him to meet up.
The man was becoming more and more interesting with his small habits, actions and daily life events. Junho found himself distracted from his idol life as he wanted to just laze around and talk to his new companion. Not once through the first month that they spoke was meeting up being pushed on him. He spent countless nights up almost until the sunrise.
His confidence and nerve had somehow shot up the night he had asked the man if he wanted to do something inappropriate. Messaging the man was already a big bold step that Junho hadn't mentally prepared himself for but now, almost two months later, he couldn't help but let his hormones do the talking. He wondered if the man he was talking to had the same interest as they were, in fact, that men and had urges. To his surprise, his question had been answered with a simple, “Okay.” It was tough for him to act as if he was a woman, saying things he was doing but not. Would the man he was talking to know any different, he wouldn't, right? That night had ended late with the result he had hoped for.
Spent and tired the next morning, he hated that anytime he was up late with his man, he always had something to do in the morning. A painful slap caused his shoulderblade to sting and he looked up to see Taecyeon, looking the same as himself. Indicating that he had had a long night, his cheeks flushed pink as he recalled the event. He had felt really good and it was not something he had done often, if not at all. It was something dirty.
Heading home to his apartment, he fed the hungry beasts he called cats and crawled onto his bed. “Shower...” he mumbled to himself, pulling himself up after a few seconds to quickly wash. Once out, wrapped in a towel and laying on the bed once again, he messaged the man on his phone. It was like a form of therapy to know about the other person's day, hearing about their tiresome schedule and knowing he wasn't the only one winding down.
Getting to know the man had really excited Junho and he really wanted to meet him but he was anxious. He set up a date but really wasn't sure how it would play out. Going through many scenarios in his mind did not help to settle any bit of his anxiety. If it was going to ruin things, it would be for the best because Junho couldn't continue leading this man on.
He couldn't believe his eyes as he stared out the window as it was none other than Taecyeon standing just outside the cafe they were supposed to meet at. Fumbling with his phone, he typed in a message and watched to see if he would get the reaction he wasn't hoping for. His heart sank as Taecyeon pulled his phone from his pocket, reading then relaying a disappointment look on his face before leaving the spot. Junho looked down at his phone as it buzzed in his hand, “That's too bad that you're running late. I was looking forward to meeting you.”
Junho left the cafe and hours later, met up with a few of the group member for a drink. It had been a while since they had been together and just relaxed. He sat down at the table, flashing a smile before seeing Taecyeon come in a few minutes later, looking bothered. Nichkhun bugged him with questions but the man wouldn't budge, just saying he had a bad morning when he rolled out of bed. He wondered if now it would be awkward before realizing that he was the only one that knew. The two of them would be heart broken but it would only be him that knew that Taecyeon's possible love had stood him up because he was too scared to reveal that he was a man.
The man and woman would never talk again.
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Setting the record straight, Junho made a profile true to form, minus the little fact that he was an idol. Again, without an image. He joined a different community in which he was able to make a male profile seeking a male companion. This made him feel even more nervous as at least with his fake page, he knew what to expect and to fish out the fakes but this community was new to him. He had a few curious people and he explained that this was his first time stepping “out of the closet”. There were some messages he wished he hadn't seen, some that hurt his heart even if they hadn't even really spoke. This part of the community was rough.
He had spent a month on the site, finding himself in the same position as the first, clicking away at another hopeless profile until a message popped up. As he gave anyone a chance, he replied to the message. A couple days had gone by before he had received another reply by the same person. They began to talk regularly but not every day and Junho found himself starting to wait impatiently for the next message. As time progressed, though, their talks became more frequent and he felt more hope.
This time, he wasn't lying and if he had met up with the other man, at least he wouldn't have to worry about his gender. Things were different than the last time, this man being a little more open about his schedules of shoots and meetings. Sometimes they wouldn't talk for a few days and Junho worried that he had lost the other man's interest before he would pop up and assure him that he hadn't. He told Junho that he was starting to like him and wanted to meet up.
Heart pounding in his chest, he was the first to arrive at the location, a hot soup shop surrounded by a park where snow and ice sculptures were being made. Families with young children were in the busy area and Junho hid his nose in his scarf. Dress code wasn't noted this time but he jolted when he felt a tap on the shoulder, “Jin?”
Junho slowly turned, not realizing he'd be caught as he was hiding and waiting to scout out the person he was meeting. His heart sank again as their eyes met, staring at the taller man as he received a mirroring look.
“Junho,” Taecyeon whispered softly in surprise.
“What... Are you doing here?” he muttered, 'And how did you know my username?'
The other was silent for a couple minutes, only staring at Junho before he replied, “I'm Tako.”
He couldn't believe his ears, this had to be some kind of joke. Tako was the username of the man he was talking to. Did Taecyeon find out that Junho had played him the first time and was now getting revenge? He had kept himself well behaved this time. He couldn't stomach this cruel joke as his feelings were becoming crushed for the second time. His eyes began to sting and instead of letting the tears fall from his eyes, he turned and was about to walk away before Taecyeon grabbed him. Not wanting to make a scene, he followed as the older dragged him away from the busy area to an area in the park that was hidden by pine trees.
A grunt left him as he was pressed against the memorial wall, looking at Taecyeon with widened eyes. The older looked angry, “Is this some kind of joke, Junho?”
“I want to ask the same thing...” His voice was shaky and he cursed at it.
“Why were you on that site?”
He laughed and felt the tear dripping down his cheek, “Same thing you were doing, unless it was just to play around with people.” The words came out of his mouth faster than he could think. He was being the hypocrite here but Taecyeon didn't know that secret. It was something he wanted to bury with him.
“Junho.. You're... For how long?”
The question stumped Junho, “For how long what?”
“How long have you been like this?”
Was it a good idea to spill his secrets already? He knew and trusted Taecyeon but they were still in a group together and if the older was just there to mock him, “I'm not telling you anything unless I know your feelings are true.”
He swallowed the saliva gathering in his mouth as Taecyeon came closer, pinning him to the wall and slowly inching forward. The tall male's breath was warm on his lips and he quickly closed his eyes tightly, his heart thumping in his chest. He had done a fair few of kisses for show with the other members but this wasn't the same. What he didn't see with his eyes closed was Taecyeon's small smile, reaching forward to lift his chin before kissing the corner of his lips. As he felt the soft press, Junho opened his eyes.
“That's it?”
Taecyeon's laugh was loud as he stepped back, “I'm new at this, okay? I've never kissed a guy with feeling before.”
Junho nodded and bit into the corner of his lip, he hadn't either. “So... Now... What do we do?”
“Let's go back to your place.” He stifled his laugh as Junho's eyes widened, “Since we already know each other, wouldn't it be easier to just be comfortable at your house?” He knew the other male had been thinking they'd jump straight to sex, how cliché.
“O-oh, right. Yeah, we'll be safe there.”
The two of them walked back to Junho's apartment, questions flooding each others minds as they couldn't wait to get there. Junho had seen too many movies recently where feelings were confessed and it would quickly progress into heated kissing then- he swallowed a large lump.
“You need to relax, Junho. I may be a guy but I'm not going to jump you. We just found out about each other and even though I think you're good looking, I have respect for you.” Taecyeon noticed how tense the other was when they walked in and took their shoes off. He had given Junho a gentle push forward so they could proceed into the living room instead of talking in the entry way.
“Sorry... I just haven't thought this through. I've read too much, seen too many movies that I don't actually know what to do in a situation like this.” He sat down on the couch, still in his jacket and scarf and Taecyeon sighed.
“Relax. For the first little bit, it'll be like normal. We're not going to jump into anything until we learn more about each other. I mean, obvious I know a lot about you but there's also a lot I don't know.” The tall male helped Junho take his winter clothing off before his own as he set them on the other side of the couch and he sat down.
It was on the edge of his tongue to tell Taecyeon about deceiving him the first time but he couldn't. The situation was big enough on it's own. He stared down at his hands, feeling nervous for the first time in a long time around Taecyeon. The other male sensed the atmosphere.
“It seemed like this might be a bit easier since we knew each other but it's not,” he let out a soft chuckle. “You didn't answer my question though, Junho. How did you know?”
Junho softly chewed on his lower lip, “It was around the time I moved out.. And realized something was missing.”
The two males exchanged stories, finding it easier to talk as they had a lot in common as they lived together for so long. Taecyeon had admitted to finding both genders attractive but his last dating site experience hadn't gone well for him. Junho tried to offer his sympathy but the other male just waved it off and said now he hoped he could forget about it. The younger blushed a soft shade of pink.
“I hope we can make this work... I mean, this'll be hard for the both of us.”
Taecyeon nodded, knowing this was true. From being both men to being men and idols. While being from the same group might have it's conveniences, it was inconveniencing as well. They were both equally busy and with Junho on his solo tour and he himself filming, meeting up would be difficult. “At least we can visit each other without people questioning it.”
The thought made Junho smile as he nodded. They continued to talk before Junho quietly asked for a request, “Can we kiss?” He felt like it would commemorate their meeting and being his first real kiss with someone he knew and liked.
A light blush covered Taecyeon's cheeks as he heard the question, thinking about it for a moment before deciding that it wouldn't hurt. “Come here,” he said softly, urging Junho to move closer and his arm slipped around the smaller male's shoulders. He cupped his cheek, leaning in slowly before their lips met. Lingering for a moment, Junho's lips parted and Taecyeon began to suckle softly, hearing the other give a sign of approval to press forward for a deeper kiss.