ZE:A { junyoung-centric; take it personal }
junyoung-centric/ subtleasfuck!junyoung/minwoo | 1430w | pg
junyoung has a mutual understanding of his life; he's not worth it.
12:45 (take it personal)
Junyoung wakes up to a dim bedroom, curtains tightly shut (the managers felt the need to hide them even if in reality Junyoung thinks they’re not really worth it.) and the light snoring of someone out of his three roommates. He felt groggy and his muscles were sore from yesterday’s intense training, his dry throat screaming for water. Junyoung slips of the top bunk and lands on the floor with a soft thud before heading to the kitchen.
He was greeted by the sight of the eldest in the maknae line, stirring chocolate sauce into a glass of milk disinterestedly. Minwoo yawns out a barely audible ‘morning hyung’ before engaging into a staring contest with the milk.
Junyoung sighs contentedly after wetting his throat and finally acknowledges his surrounding, the heavy dark circles around Minwoo’s eyes and the melancholic atmosphere of the morning. The glass of milk was half empty by then and he hears faint noises of the others getting up. He forgets to greet Minwoo back.
Practice was a blur of ragged breaths, sweat all over his face and getting shit from the trainers as usual. Everything was as usual. Until Kevin decides it was too much and collapses on the cold studio floor. The blur that was a usual Monday freezes for a moment and suddenly Junyoung felt powerless. He vaguely registers the frantic rush of the others and someone was screaming “He’s unconscious!” before his legs gave way and he fell on his butt. An emergency meeting was called for and the CEO decided to give them the whole day off before “the kids die without debuting.”
A day off, and no one in their little group thought they would get one until they made it big (considering they haven’t even debuted yet). “The kids” were simply too affected by the earlier fiasco to indulge. The maknaes practically moped around wanting to see “Kevin hyung” until the manager drags them out to shut up all the whining. Junyoung didn’t know where the others went, probably locked up in their room catching lost sleep. The tiny place they call home was too quiet when even Kwanghee’s obnoxious voice was absent.
Junyoung sits on the couch in the living room (they had a couch?) and runs through random channels. The couch was uncomfortable and felt too new and it sinks his body in. He frowns, realising they had been spending too much time away from the place that even the couch feels new.
He decides he was bored after watching a documentary, an effort to take his mind off Kevin. (“He’s fine.” The manager had informed him via a phone call.) For once since he was informally appointed as leader, Junyoung didn’t know what to do.
“Wake up.” a nudge on his shoulder.
“Hyung wake up.” another nudge.
“Hyung you’re drooling all over the new couch!” ah, minwoo.
So the couch was new after all. Junyoung sighs and wipes off his drool with a free hand. He’s tempted to wipe it off on minwoo’s face but something about the latter's gaze looked disinclined.
Junyoung cleans up in the bathroom, glancing at the wall clock on the way. It read 7.15 in the morning.
“So, when did we get a new couch?” Junyoung asks suddenly, snapping Minwoo out of his reverie.
“Good morning to you too.” The younger replies, voice laced with sarcasm.
“They brought it in a few days ago. Hyung, i thought you would be more observant. You had the vibe.” Minwoo continues.
“Of someone observant?” Junyoung moved to sit on the shiny red couch. “Vibe? Stop being so weird in the morning I’m not ready for this.” He sighs.
Minwoo rolls his eves, Junyoung could see it underneath his half-closed eyelids. The younger gets up and return with two mugs of tea before silently sitting back at his place, staring blankly into the space of the small living room. Minwoo was abnormally quiet today but Junyoung thinks it’s too early in the morning for fully stretched smiles and weird giggles anyway.
Practice went back as usual and Kevin was due to return later that day. Junyoung mulls over what he’s going to say later. Lately, he’s been out of words. Siwan glares at him through the mirrors and he tries to dance harder.
It was at 8.30 in the evening when Dongjun and Hyunsik barges into the dorms with takeout and a smiling Kevin. Junyoung sees the relieved look of the others as they welcome back the oldest. Minwoo tackles Kevin with a big hug and tan alarmed Siwan tries to pull the younger off (“Yah! You’re not the only one who misses him y’know?”) while Kwanghee sang his hearts out to Love Stoned. Soon, they were busy fighting for food once more and the all the noise was back. Junyoung felt out of place, like he wasn’t supposed to be there. He wasn’t supposed to receive all this happiness.
Later in the evening (“12.45” Junyoung notes.) he finds Minwoo again in an identical position as earlier in the morning. But instead of grinning at him and telling a funny joke, Minwoo greeted him with a “Hyung, we should talk.”
“Ok.” Junyoung moves to sit beside the younger.
“It’s not your fault.” Minwoo blurts.
“If you’re talking about Kev-“
“Wait. Hyung, let me finish.” Minwoo takes a deep breath. “I know I’m in no position to say this but the others told me that it’s best if I say it.”
Junyoung was puzzled. What isn’t his fault? It was always his fault. Heechul smoking, Dongjun’s uncontrollable temper, Kwanghee’s mess, everything. It was always his fault. It’s his job as leader, unofficial or not.
“I know what you’re thinking and I think you should stop it hyung.” The younger looks at him straight in the eyes.
“But hasn’t things always been that way?” It scares Junyoung so, so much. It scares him how much Ha Minwoo knows about him.
“To you, It’s always been that way to you.” Minwoo reasons. “I don’t really have a way with words unlike Siwan hyung but nobody blames you. It was never your fault.”
“But it’s my responsibility. You guys are my responsibility especially you and Kevin since I dragged you guys into this mess. Since I’ve taken away your lives.” Junyoung chokes out, the last words coming out in a whisper. He feels stuffy even in just a t-shirt.
“It’s not your fault. We chose to be here, we chose to come here. You were the one who gave us the choice.” Minwoo retaliates.
“At first, when I came here, when I faced all of this every day, I admit I blamed you.” Minwoo held back a sob. “I blamed you for calling me at 2AM in the morning and asking me to sing and laughing when my voice cracked-“ The younger gives in and lets it out. “But when you brought me here and introduced me to all these wonderful people, I couldn’t bear to leave hyung. I couldn’t.”
Junyoung was out of words again. It was weird, he always had words. He was always the one to solve a problem or break a fight but right now he didn’t know what to say. All he could do grab onto the younger’s thin wrist to calm him down.
“But even right now, I don’t. Even if the future seems dark to me, I want to believe that one day we’ll make it. And it would be thanks to you.” Minwoo finished.
“So please promise that you would stop all this.”
“Okay. Okay, I promise.” And Junyoung cries.
“What is all this noise Ha Minwoo I’m trying to slee- holy shit is that Junyoung crying?” Siwan stumbles into the living room, rubbing his sleepy eyes.
“Wow you made him cry. Pay up Hyunsik.” Dongjun grins smugly while shoving his open palms in Hyunsik’s face.
“I never thought Junyoung hyung would cry, hyung what should I do?” Minwoo looks at Kevin who was giggling with Heechul and Taehun.
The still sobbing Junyoung managed to grab the camera out of Kwanghee’s hands before a picture could be taken.
“Yah, you’re no fun!” Kwanghee states in his high volume voice before making faces at him.
“Shut up.” Junyoung sobs out.
The other bastards laughed at him and his face. (“Ohmygosh Junyoung you’re so ugly when you cry! Ohmygosh!” “Shut up Kwanghee.”)
For the first time in a while, Junyoung felt he was worth it. Worth the company of eight people who made the days a little bit better to bear with.
- - -
a/n: this is set in predebut era and most of the stuff are made up lol sorry if i made mistakes! i wrote this while having a fever uvu comments are ♡
also, thanks to my wonderful beta jeonhap ♡♡♡
junyoung has a mutual understanding of his life; he's not worth it.
12:45 (take it personal)
Junyoung wakes up to a dim bedroom, curtains tightly shut (the managers felt the need to hide them even if in reality Junyoung thinks they’re not really worth it.) and the light snoring of someone out of his three roommates. He felt groggy and his muscles were sore from yesterday’s intense training, his dry throat screaming for water. Junyoung slips of the top bunk and lands on the floor with a soft thud before heading to the kitchen.
He was greeted by the sight of the eldest in the maknae line, stirring chocolate sauce into a glass of milk disinterestedly. Minwoo yawns out a barely audible ‘morning hyung’ before engaging into a staring contest with the milk.
Junyoung sighs contentedly after wetting his throat and finally acknowledges his surrounding, the heavy dark circles around Minwoo’s eyes and the melancholic atmosphere of the morning. The glass of milk was half empty by then and he hears faint noises of the others getting up. He forgets to greet Minwoo back.
Practice was a blur of ragged breaths, sweat all over his face and getting shit from the trainers as usual. Everything was as usual. Until Kevin decides it was too much and collapses on the cold studio floor. The blur that was a usual Monday freezes for a moment and suddenly Junyoung felt powerless. He vaguely registers the frantic rush of the others and someone was screaming “He’s unconscious!” before his legs gave way and he fell on his butt. An emergency meeting was called for and the CEO decided to give them the whole day off before “the kids die without debuting.”
A day off, and no one in their little group thought they would get one until they made it big (considering they haven’t even debuted yet). “The kids” were simply too affected by the earlier fiasco to indulge. The maknaes practically moped around wanting to see “Kevin hyung” until the manager drags them out to shut up all the whining. Junyoung didn’t know where the others went, probably locked up in their room catching lost sleep. The tiny place they call home was too quiet when even Kwanghee’s obnoxious voice was absent.
Junyoung sits on the couch in the living room (they had a couch?) and runs through random channels. The couch was uncomfortable and felt too new and it sinks his body in. He frowns, realising they had been spending too much time away from the place that even the couch feels new.
He decides he was bored after watching a documentary, an effort to take his mind off Kevin. (“He’s fine.” The manager had informed him via a phone call.) For once since he was informally appointed as leader, Junyoung didn’t know what to do.
“Wake up.” a nudge on his shoulder.
“Hyung wake up.” another nudge.
“Hyung you’re drooling all over the new couch!” ah, minwoo.
So the couch was new after all. Junyoung sighs and wipes off his drool with a free hand. He’s tempted to wipe it off on minwoo’s face but something about the latter's gaze looked disinclined.
Junyoung cleans up in the bathroom, glancing at the wall clock on the way. It read 7.15 in the morning.
“So, when did we get a new couch?” Junyoung asks suddenly, snapping Minwoo out of his reverie.
“Good morning to you too.” The younger replies, voice laced with sarcasm.
“They brought it in a few days ago. Hyung, i thought you would be more observant. You had the vibe.” Minwoo continues.
“Of someone observant?” Junyoung moved to sit on the shiny red couch. “Vibe? Stop being so weird in the morning I’m not ready for this.” He sighs.
Minwoo rolls his eves, Junyoung could see it underneath his half-closed eyelids. The younger gets up and return with two mugs of tea before silently sitting back at his place, staring blankly into the space of the small living room. Minwoo was abnormally quiet today but Junyoung thinks it’s too early in the morning for fully stretched smiles and weird giggles anyway.
Practice went back as usual and Kevin was due to return later that day. Junyoung mulls over what he’s going to say later. Lately, he’s been out of words. Siwan glares at him through the mirrors and he tries to dance harder.
It was at 8.30 in the evening when Dongjun and Hyunsik barges into the dorms with takeout and a smiling Kevin. Junyoung sees the relieved look of the others as they welcome back the oldest. Minwoo tackles Kevin with a big hug and tan alarmed Siwan tries to pull the younger off (“Yah! You’re not the only one who misses him y’know?”) while Kwanghee sang his hearts out to Love Stoned. Soon, they were busy fighting for food once more and the all the noise was back. Junyoung felt out of place, like he wasn’t supposed to be there. He wasn’t supposed to receive all this happiness.
Later in the evening (“12.45” Junyoung notes.) he finds Minwoo again in an identical position as earlier in the morning. But instead of grinning at him and telling a funny joke, Minwoo greeted him with a “Hyung, we should talk.”
“Ok.” Junyoung moves to sit beside the younger.
“It’s not your fault.” Minwoo blurts.
“If you’re talking about Kev-“
“Wait. Hyung, let me finish.” Minwoo takes a deep breath. “I know I’m in no position to say this but the others told me that it’s best if I say it.”
Junyoung was puzzled. What isn’t his fault? It was always his fault. Heechul smoking, Dongjun’s uncontrollable temper, Kwanghee’s mess, everything. It was always his fault. It’s his job as leader, unofficial or not.
“I know what you’re thinking and I think you should stop it hyung.” The younger looks at him straight in the eyes.
“But hasn’t things always been that way?” It scares Junyoung so, so much. It scares him how much Ha Minwoo knows about him.
“To you, It’s always been that way to you.” Minwoo reasons. “I don’t really have a way with words unlike Siwan hyung but nobody blames you. It was never your fault.”
“But it’s my responsibility. You guys are my responsibility especially you and Kevin since I dragged you guys into this mess. Since I’ve taken away your lives.” Junyoung chokes out, the last words coming out in a whisper. He feels stuffy even in just a t-shirt.
“It’s not your fault. We chose to be here, we chose to come here. You were the one who gave us the choice.” Minwoo retaliates.
“At first, when I came here, when I faced all of this every day, I admit I blamed you.” Minwoo held back a sob. “I blamed you for calling me at 2AM in the morning and asking me to sing and laughing when my voice cracked-“ The younger gives in and lets it out. “But when you brought me here and introduced me to all these wonderful people, I couldn’t bear to leave hyung. I couldn’t.”
Junyoung was out of words again. It was weird, he always had words. He was always the one to solve a problem or break a fight but right now he didn’t know what to say. All he could do grab onto the younger’s thin wrist to calm him down.
“But even right now, I don’t. Even if the future seems dark to me, I want to believe that one day we’ll make it. And it would be thanks to you.” Minwoo finished.
“So please promise that you would stop all this.”
“Okay. Okay, I promise.” And Junyoung cries.
“What is all this noise Ha Minwoo I’m trying to slee- holy shit is that Junyoung crying?” Siwan stumbles into the living room, rubbing his sleepy eyes.
“Wow you made him cry. Pay up Hyunsik.” Dongjun grins smugly while shoving his open palms in Hyunsik’s face.
“I never thought Junyoung hyung would cry, hyung what should I do?” Minwoo looks at Kevin who was giggling with Heechul and Taehun.
The still sobbing Junyoung managed to grab the camera out of Kwanghee’s hands before a picture could be taken.
“Yah, you’re no fun!” Kwanghee states in his high volume voice before making faces at him.
“Shut up.” Junyoung sobs out.
The other bastards laughed at him and his face. (“Ohmygosh Junyoung you’re so ugly when you cry! Ohmygosh!” “Shut up Kwanghee.”)
For the first time in a while, Junyoung felt he was worth it. Worth the company of eight people who made the days a little bit better to bear with.
- - -
a/n: this is set in predebut era and most of the stuff are made up lol sorry if i made mistakes! i wrote this while having a fever uvu comments are ♡
also, thanks to my wonderful beta jeonhap ♡♡♡