(no subject)
Chuck Norris once sunk a pirate ship out of spite. The sound of an F15 fighter jet was taken directly from the sound of Chuck Norris taking a SHIT. The first man on the moon wasn't Neil Armstrong. It was actually a student of Chuck Norris who thought he could take him in a fight. The student was going good until Chuck Norris gave him an upercut. The mission to the moon was actually a rescue mission for the poor student. Chuck Norris shits golden eggs. Chuck Norris has 92 chromosomes rather than the normal 46, meaning he is scientifically twice as good as any other human in existence. Chuck Norris won the brick yard four hundred without a car. When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie. Caution: Do Not use Chuck Norris around water, may result in electrocution or explosion. The Big Bad Wolf only destroyed two of the Three Little Piggies' houses. Chuck Norris donkey punched the wolf, then proceeded to annihilate the brick structure with a roundhouse kick to the facade. Chuck Norris once filled in for Santa Claus, but was fired by Jesus because he gave every child only a Total Gym and a box set of every Walker Texas Ranger episode ever made. Chuck Norris laughs heartily whenever he watches Cialis commercials because his erections last four days. Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.