Past Present, Chapter 8
Past Present
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Pairing: Skins, Katie/Effy
Rating: M
Author’s Notes: Inspired by all the great Keffy fics out there. Feedback would be manna.
Gratitude Alert: Thank you to all those who review this work at ff.net and lj.
Shout out to LJ readers: I may decide to learn the LJ cut at some point, until then bear with the layout of the page.
Chapter notes: To those who care, sorry for the delayed update J. I hope this makes up for it. This is still unbeta’ed, corrections and comments are most welcome. Sorry for the angst from the previous faux chapter, Sophia made me do it!
Chapter 8
Effy started to ask, “ What time is it in…”
“Boston. They’re five hours behind.” Katie cut her off while listening on her mobile.
A smile lit up the twin’s face and Effy couldn’t help but mirror her expression. “Emsy! Yeah, I’m okay. She there? Of course she’s there. Put me on speaker phone. No, not just so I could verbally abuse your wifey. I have someone I want you guys to meet.” She winked at Effy and knitted her brows a bit at something she heard from the other line, “ When have I done that?”
Katie punches a few buttons to set her unit on speakerphone and gestures to Effy, who then bends closer.
Naomi’s voice comes on, “Fitch Bitch!”
Katie replied, “Excuse me, I believe that being Emily’s bitch makes you the Fitch Bitch.”
Emily’s amused tone counters with, ”don’t you guys think this is getting old?”
“Nope, I’m still holding out hope that you will dump this one.”
“Cause you want me for yourself, huh, Katiekins? So what fresh hell are you bringing us this time, twatface?”
“I wanted you guys to meet someone.”
Playful groans of exasperation were heard from other end. Effy thought she might have heard someone saying something about a chastity belt sent through the post.
Katie interjects in a forceful tone, “ Elizabeth Holden, meet my twin, Emily, and her something Naomi Campbell.”
“Her wife, Katie. Hello, Elizabeth, run from this psycho while you can.”
“Hello, Naomi, Emily.” She stifles a laugh as Katie playfully sticks out her tongue and wags it. “I don’t think I can do that Naomi, she’s far too riveting, this one. And I think I’m sticking around until she puts out.”
“Hello, Elizabeth, I’m Emily. Nice to meet you.”
Katie then switched to making kissy faces at Effy while Emily was talking.
Effy started laughing. “It’s lovely to meet you, Emily. I guess you’re the nice twin, right?”
Naomi chirps in, “Better twin!”
Emily quickly and with facetious seriousness, adds, “ This is the gospel truth.”
Effy let out a throaty laugh as Katie raises her voice in fake indignation, “Fuck you all!”
Effy then asked, “Katie, wouldn’t that make you the naughty twin, then?”
Katie replied, “ The fun twin, you mean”
Naomi and Emily start voicing their objections.
When the patter showed no signs of slowing down, Katie said in a voice loud enough to attract attention from other patrons, “ Is it just me, or are they making us unwilling witnesses to verbal foreplay?”
“I think you’re right.” Effy answered. She noticed that an elderly woman was glaring their way and she smirked when the hag met her eyes.
“Oi, Lesbos! Do you not recognize the voice then?”
Katie then turned to see Effy looking a little panicked. “Wait a second.” She put one of her hands over Effy’s then muffled the mobile with her shoulder. “Eff, are you alright with this?”
Effy was flooded with all the memories and feelings she had to endure and still do from a host of characters who would never let her forget what she was, how broken she used to be. No matter how far she has come, certain insecurities remain and so her old shields came to the front.
What Katie saw before her was a shadow of the old Effy, bracing herself for a rejection with calculated coolness. “What the fuck, right?”
Katie talks hurriedly on the mobile, “ Hey bitches, why don’t you muffdivers hold on for a moment.” She doesn’t wait for a response and instead turns to Effy. “Trust me, they’ll follow my lead on this.” She then reaches out and takes one of Effy’s hands.
Effy shrugs and looks down on their hands, her jaw tightening slightly.
Katie leans forward and squeezes Effy’s hand, giving it a little tug until the brunette met her eyes. “It’s Effy, you fools, Effy Stonem. She changed her name along with other things. Google it, we’ll wait.”
Effy stared at their joined hands and squeezed back.
The noise from the other end made it clear that Emily and Naomi were indeed scrambling to do as Katie commanded. Katie held her hand the entire time and looked her in the eyes, only stopping when she rolled her eyes as the reaction from the other end of the line grew more and more excited.
Naomi was the first to address them, “Fucking hell, Eff, you just ran away from the little lost girl routine, didn’t you?”
Effy replied with a shaky smile, “Still lost, Campbell, just a little less so these days.”
Katie added, “And she dresses down to the knees now. She’s discovered that thighs can still exist if they are not seen.”
Katie waited for a particular voice for a beat then asked, “Ems?”
Emily softly responded, “Hey, Effy, it’s… interesting to hear from you again. So…you’re settled?”
Effy replied, “I’m a little saner these days, yes.”
Katie squeezed Effy’s hand a little tighter as she added, “ And we all know I’m the last person to attest to that without believing it so this entire conversation should be testament enough to the truth of that assertion.”
Naomi brings a bit of levity by saying, “It still scares me when she talks like an adult! Effy, can you do us a favor and try to fix Katie up with someone with stamina. Our sex life suffers whenever the pendulum swings on her otherwise overflowing social calendar, and by social calendar I mean her harem rota. Without the harem it’s like having a conversation with her while she’s trying to channel Thatcher. It produces the same effect as a using a dental dam.”
When the laughter all around waned a bit, Katie decided another method of attack against her sister-in-law. “Ems, if she makes another David Lynch-inspired Dead Ringer joke, could you please slap her head for me?”
Emily laughingly replied, “Nope. Emsy shum, Katie. Domestic violence, you know.”
The sound of laughter coming from the mobile was both infectious and suggestive of the initiation of certain activities from the expats.
“Fucking hell, I could practically hear your knickers dropping from here. Get a grip, lezzers, polite society and all…”
Effy slightly squeezed Katie’s hand, and spoke in a soft tone, “you know I could leave to give you the opportunity to talk about me.”
“Babes, I already called you all the names in the book to your face so it’d be kinda moot for you to go.” Katie smiled at Effy as she said this, and sensing that she remained unconvinced, the twin added, “and if you go, you won’t hear me call you names from the other book, the one that doesn’t have words like slag and cunt.”
“You’ve read that book?” Effy smiled, her relief evident in her eyes.
“You’ve read two books?” This came from Naomi, who, along with Emily was momentarily forgotten by the newly reacquainted friends.
“Fuck off, Campbell. You know that I’m all up with the literacy.”
Effy shuffled a bit closer to Katie, with only the mobile between their faces. “I can vouch for that. I sent her a proposal of some several thousand words and she, like, read it, between the covers.”
“I’m sorry, was that supposed to be a compliment?” Katie interjected.
Emily asked, “Did it have big words?”
At the sound of joint laughter from couple, Effy added, “Yes, and plenty of illustrations.”
“I see, I try to be a decent human being and you all gang up on me! Humanity sucks, yo!”
“You know we all love you, Katie!” Naomi shouted. “You are the fiercest creature, evah!”
As the teasing went back and forth, Effy took a moment to marvel at how much the dynamic has changed between the sisters and between Katie and Naomi. Her thoughts drifted to happier times with her brother, who could be acerbic , loving , witty and cruel at the turn of a dime. Sadly, towards the end Tony tended to be more cruel than loving. With her mood slowly sinking, Effy only barely heard Emily asking Katie for her number and the latter teasing her sister about being so brazen by making a play for another woman with her wife in hearing and hitting distance.
“Sapphists, I believe our CEO is getting tired and needs her rest to better realize her plans for world domination. We’ll talk to you guys, soon… Yeah, Ems, I always do. Please stop worrying. Fuck you, too, Campbell! No, I do not! Do not! Ugh, bitch!”
Katie hung up with a smile that slowly faded as she watched Effy struggle to fake one. “If you miss having a sibling so much, Emily and I will happily, joyfully, ecstatically give you James.”
The laughter that Effy let out was the most genuine she had had in a long while.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Pairing: Skins, Katie/Effy
Rating: M
Author’s Notes: Inspired by all the great Keffy fics out there. Feedback would be manna.
Gratitude Alert: Thank you to all those who review this work at ff.net and lj.
Shout out to LJ readers: I may decide to learn the LJ cut at some point, until then bear with the layout of the page.
Chapter notes: To those who care, sorry for the delayed update J. I hope this makes up for it. This is still unbeta’ed, corrections and comments are most welcome. Sorry for the angst from the previous faux chapter, Sophia made me do it!
Chapter 8
Effy started to ask, “ What time is it in…”
“Boston. They’re five hours behind.” Katie cut her off while listening on her mobile.
A smile lit up the twin’s face and Effy couldn’t help but mirror her expression. “Emsy! Yeah, I’m okay. She there? Of course she’s there. Put me on speaker phone. No, not just so I could verbally abuse your wifey. I have someone I want you guys to meet.” She winked at Effy and knitted her brows a bit at something she heard from the other line, “ When have I done that?”
Katie punches a few buttons to set her unit on speakerphone and gestures to Effy, who then bends closer.
Naomi’s voice comes on, “Fitch Bitch!”
Katie replied, “Excuse me, I believe that being Emily’s bitch makes you the Fitch Bitch.”
Emily’s amused tone counters with, ”don’t you guys think this is getting old?”
“Nope, I’m still holding out hope that you will dump this one.”
“Cause you want me for yourself, huh, Katiekins? So what fresh hell are you bringing us this time, twatface?”
“I wanted you guys to meet someone.”
Playful groans of exasperation were heard from other end. Effy thought she might have heard someone saying something about a chastity belt sent through the post.
Katie interjects in a forceful tone, “ Elizabeth Holden, meet my twin, Emily, and her something Naomi Campbell.”
“Her wife, Katie. Hello, Elizabeth, run from this psycho while you can.”
“Hello, Naomi, Emily.” She stifles a laugh as Katie playfully sticks out her tongue and wags it. “I don’t think I can do that Naomi, she’s far too riveting, this one. And I think I’m sticking around until she puts out.”
“Hello, Elizabeth, I’m Emily. Nice to meet you.”
Katie then switched to making kissy faces at Effy while Emily was talking.
Effy started laughing. “It’s lovely to meet you, Emily. I guess you’re the nice twin, right?”
Naomi chirps in, “Better twin!”
Emily quickly and with facetious seriousness, adds, “ This is the gospel truth.”
Effy let out a throaty laugh as Katie raises her voice in fake indignation, “Fuck you all!”
Effy then asked, “Katie, wouldn’t that make you the naughty twin, then?”
Katie replied, “ The fun twin, you mean”
Naomi and Emily start voicing their objections.
When the patter showed no signs of slowing down, Katie said in a voice loud enough to attract attention from other patrons, “ Is it just me, or are they making us unwilling witnesses to verbal foreplay?”
“I think you’re right.” Effy answered. She noticed that an elderly woman was glaring their way and she smirked when the hag met her eyes.
“Oi, Lesbos! Do you not recognize the voice then?”
Katie then turned to see Effy looking a little panicked. “Wait a second.” She put one of her hands over Effy’s then muffled the mobile with her shoulder. “Eff, are you alright with this?”
Effy was flooded with all the memories and feelings she had to endure and still do from a host of characters who would never let her forget what she was, how broken she used to be. No matter how far she has come, certain insecurities remain and so her old shields came to the front.
What Katie saw before her was a shadow of the old Effy, bracing herself for a rejection with calculated coolness. “What the fuck, right?”
Katie talks hurriedly on the mobile, “ Hey bitches, why don’t you muffdivers hold on for a moment.” She doesn’t wait for a response and instead turns to Effy. “Trust me, they’ll follow my lead on this.” She then reaches out and takes one of Effy’s hands.
Effy shrugs and looks down on their hands, her jaw tightening slightly.
Katie leans forward and squeezes Effy’s hand, giving it a little tug until the brunette met her eyes. “It’s Effy, you fools, Effy Stonem. She changed her name along with other things. Google it, we’ll wait.”
Effy stared at their joined hands and squeezed back.
The noise from the other end made it clear that Emily and Naomi were indeed scrambling to do as Katie commanded. Katie held her hand the entire time and looked her in the eyes, only stopping when she rolled her eyes as the reaction from the other end of the line grew more and more excited.
Naomi was the first to address them, “Fucking hell, Eff, you just ran away from the little lost girl routine, didn’t you?”
Effy replied with a shaky smile, “Still lost, Campbell, just a little less so these days.”
Katie added, “And she dresses down to the knees now. She’s discovered that thighs can still exist if they are not seen.”
Katie waited for a particular voice for a beat then asked, “Ems?”
Emily softly responded, “Hey, Effy, it’s… interesting to hear from you again. So…you’re settled?”
Effy replied, “I’m a little saner these days, yes.”
Katie squeezed Effy’s hand a little tighter as she added, “ And we all know I’m the last person to attest to that without believing it so this entire conversation should be testament enough to the truth of that assertion.”
Naomi brings a bit of levity by saying, “It still scares me when she talks like an adult! Effy, can you do us a favor and try to fix Katie up with someone with stamina. Our sex life suffers whenever the pendulum swings on her otherwise overflowing social calendar, and by social calendar I mean her harem rota. Without the harem it’s like having a conversation with her while she’s trying to channel Thatcher. It produces the same effect as a using a dental dam.”
When the laughter all around waned a bit, Katie decided another method of attack against her sister-in-law. “Ems, if she makes another David Lynch-inspired Dead Ringer joke, could you please slap her head for me?”
Emily laughingly replied, “Nope. Emsy shum, Katie. Domestic violence, you know.”
The sound of laughter coming from the mobile was both infectious and suggestive of the initiation of certain activities from the expats.
“Fucking hell, I could practically hear your knickers dropping from here. Get a grip, lezzers, polite society and all…”
Effy slightly squeezed Katie’s hand, and spoke in a soft tone, “you know I could leave to give you the opportunity to talk about me.”
“Babes, I already called you all the names in the book to your face so it’d be kinda moot for you to go.” Katie smiled at Effy as she said this, and sensing that she remained unconvinced, the twin added, “and if you go, you won’t hear me call you names from the other book, the one that doesn’t have words like slag and cunt.”
“You’ve read that book?” Effy smiled, her relief evident in her eyes.
“You’ve read two books?” This came from Naomi, who, along with Emily was momentarily forgotten by the newly reacquainted friends.
“Fuck off, Campbell. You know that I’m all up with the literacy.”
Effy shuffled a bit closer to Katie, with only the mobile between their faces. “I can vouch for that. I sent her a proposal of some several thousand words and she, like, read it, between the covers.”
“I’m sorry, was that supposed to be a compliment?” Katie interjected.
Emily asked, “Did it have big words?”
At the sound of joint laughter from couple, Effy added, “Yes, and plenty of illustrations.”
“I see, I try to be a decent human being and you all gang up on me! Humanity sucks, yo!”
“You know we all love you, Katie!” Naomi shouted. “You are the fiercest creature, evah!”
As the teasing went back and forth, Effy took a moment to marvel at how much the dynamic has changed between the sisters and between Katie and Naomi. Her thoughts drifted to happier times with her brother, who could be acerbic , loving , witty and cruel at the turn of a dime. Sadly, towards the end Tony tended to be more cruel than loving. With her mood slowly sinking, Effy only barely heard Emily asking Katie for her number and the latter teasing her sister about being so brazen by making a play for another woman with her wife in hearing and hitting distance.
“Sapphists, I believe our CEO is getting tired and needs her rest to better realize her plans for world domination. We’ll talk to you guys, soon… Yeah, Ems, I always do. Please stop worrying. Fuck you, too, Campbell! No, I do not! Do not! Ugh, bitch!”
Katie hung up with a smile that slowly faded as she watched Effy struggle to fake one. “If you miss having a sibling so much, Emily and I will happily, joyfully, ecstatically give you James.”
The laughter that Effy let out was the most genuine she had had in a long while.