merlin - his father's son
Apologies if there are more typos than usual this week - I am missing half a thumbnail after the epic battle of me vs over-enthusiastic dog with toy dinosaur and typing with a bandage is rather cumbersome. I should be able to take it off in a day or two and then will get around to replying to comments etc. In the meantime, ow my thumb hurts, bring me halloween candy and cute boys in love with each other to ease the pain. *g*
In a land of myth and a time of idyllic grassy vistas, a young red-caped knight of Camelot is running over a hill. He seems to be in a bit of a hurry. Probably because he has a bunch of angry armed men on his heels, I suppose.
The random Sir Tendeath runs, the angry men rawr and things escalate until our poor young knight is chased into a ravine. WAIT! That’s no random knight! It’s MERLIN. Wasn’t their Halloween a couple of eps back? No matter - Merlin looks pretty good in the chain mail/red cape combo and I approve of his costume choice. Ouch! While I have been admiring his style, Merlin has almost copped an axe to the groin area and is now seemingly trapped, as noted by the head angry guy. Uh-oh, Merlin does not appear to be happy about this.
Suddenly, an arrow whizzes through the air, straight into a random angry guy and everyone looks up to see groups of Camelot’s finest on either side of the ravine/path thing. One side has randoms, and the other has some more randoms along with Arthur, Agravaine, Percival, Leon and Elyan. I’m not sure where Gwaine is, but I’m guessing that Merlin had to borrow the outfit from SOMEONE so I like to think that Gwaine is pouting underneath a tree somewhere, adjusting Merlin’s uncomfortably ill-fitting clothes after they swapped.
The knights look badass. Merlin grins. “Trick or treat, bitches,” he says (translated) and we cut away to the opening titles just as Arthur throws himself on top of his first man.
While we were gone, Arthur and the knights took care of business and are just finishing up when we return. Agravaine has found something interesting on the head angry guy, which Arthur explains to Merlin is the royal crest of Caerleon. Congrats, boys, you’ve just done bagged yourself a king.
Oh! And I don’t think Merlin swapped outfits with Gwaine, or at least not capes, because Merlin is wearing a cape with the double medallion clasp that only Arthur (or Uther back in the pre-death days) wears. The other knights usually have a single buckle type thing to fasten their cloaks around their necks, while Arthur’s is more fancy. Oh to be the cleaning lady of the editing room, because somewhere on that floor is the scene where Merlin was getting dressed up as bait and Arthur was feeling guilty about it and stood behind Merlin and fastened his own cloak around Merlin’s neck “for luck”, lingering there until it got too weird, or Gwaine made a stiff-legged entrance complaining about how much Merlin’s pants chafed, or whatever.
Night falls, and Arthur and Agravaine have a fireside chat about their royal prisoner and what he could be doing in the heart of Arthur’s kingdom. Wait, he was in MERLIN? Oh, no, he just means in the general Camelot vicinity, and Agravaine explains that Caerleon is here because Uther is dead, and any decent evil king would take advantage of that. Everyone who knows Arthur loves him, granted, but to the enemies of Camelot, having a good-looking boyish king is pretty much an open invitation to conquer. Agravaine tells Arthur he needs to send a clear message to the likes of Caerleon, Odin and Bayard, that he is just as cold and ruthless as his daddy was and suggests that Arthur draw up a treaty for Carleon to sign. If Carleon refuses to withdraw his men, return their territories and surrender Everwick to them, he will be killed. Arthur’s pretty sure that such a treaty won’t be signed and doesn’t want to kill a man in cold blood. Agravaine thinks this would be the perfect opportunity for Arthur to assert his authoritah over the land.
Overhearing all this, Merlin thinks it might be time to have a word or two of his own with the king but Arthur isn’t in the mood right now.
The next morning, Merlin wakes and finds Arthur still up and staring at the embers of the dying fire. He hands Arthur a drink and pokes around at the fire, worried that Arthur is cold, and then decides it’s time to have that chat. Arthur doesn’t think he has Uther’s wisdom or conviction and can only follow his example. WWUD? Humiliate and execute Caerleon, apparently. Merlin doesn’t think this is who Arthur is. Arthur doesn’t think Merlin understands the pressure he’s under. Merlin is sad.
Surprise, surprise, Caerleon won’t sign the treaty. He kneels before Arthur, demanding that his death be quick. Arthur, bless him, tries to convince Caerleon that a truce between them would bring peace to their lands, just like it did with their fathers before them. “I am not my father. And you are not Uther,” Caerleon says, and all but seals his fate. Then he calls Arthur, ‘boy’ and EVERYONE knows the guy is dead. Merlin scowls at Agravaine, who is smirking the smirk of the smug, and Caerleon bows his head. This isn’t Game of Thrones, so we cut away before Arthur even raises his sword, letting the musical cues tell the story.
Gaius watches from the window as the named characters in the party return to Camelot. The randoms are probably still cleaning up Arthur’s mess. Agravaine walks down the hall with Arthur, telling him that his approval ratings are through the roof and the latest polls suggest that Arthur’s father would be proud of him. Arthur isn’t all that keen on discussing the matter and thanks his uncle for the support and counsel, then enters his rooms, where Gwen is waiting for welcome back huggytimes. Agravaine doesn’t look too pleased. Merlin arrives and basically ignores everyone. Hey, Gwen, would it have killed you to at least welcome Merlin back as well? Is speaking to servants below you now?
Once alone together, Merlin starts unpacking while Arthur washes up. Merlin sympathises with what Arthur must be going through, but Arthur is playing it cool, basically parroting everything Agravaine has said about signs of strength. “Don’t you think compassion can also show strength?” Merlin asks. Arthur doesn’t think so and says he has no regrets but the fact that he’s getting uncomfortable with the conversation and trying to get Merlin to back off says otherwise.
Merlin thinks Arthur should talk about it. “You shouldn’t push your friends away, you know, not now, not when you need them most.” Oh, Merlin. His little happy delivery of the word ‘friend’ is made heartbreaking when Arthur tells him he’s wrong and that he doesn’t need anyone. “I don’t have that luxury,” Arthur says. “The kingdom is my responsibility now and mine to bear alone. And you must learn to accept that.” We leave on disappointed, shiny-eyed gazing.
Caerleon’s castle is quite impressive. The angry men are now sad men as they bring home the body of their king. The queen slash forensics expert examines the body and declares the cause of death to be murder by cowards. Arthur and the whole of Camelot will pay for this. Foreboding thunder is foreboding.
Back at Camelot, Arthur is sitting alone in his rooms when Agravaine enters for the next stage of his plan to undermine Arthur at every turn for reasons we are yet to learn, if we will at all. Today’s topic of discussion is Fraternising with Servant Girls: How to Lose the Respect of the People with One Easy Lay.
Agravaine: I’m sure Guinevere is possessed of many fine qualities. I can think of two off the top of my head, somewhat uneven as they are. But she is a servant.
Arthur: “That doesn’t matter to me.” Have you SEEN Merlin?
Agravaine: Oh, let me assure you that I’m not a bigot but…the PEOPLE totally are.
Arthur: I’m king now, I can do what I want and what I want to do is my servant.
Agravaine: Blah Blah expectations blah public image blah “the people do not wish to see their king with the daughter of a blacksmith” even if the son of said blacksmith is one of your four most trusted knights in all the kingdom.
Arthur: “This isn’t a matter of state, this is a matter of the heart.”
Me: *gags* And Agravaine is totally talking like he’s in a Jane Austen novel right now. Or maybe it’s the residual Lady Catherine from Lost in Austen that I’m getting from Queen Annis.
Agravaine *gags* “You cannot rule the kingdom with your heart, Arthur. You father understood that.”
Gaaaaaah. Of course you can rule with your heart, Arthur. God knows, after all those head injuries over the years, your heart is a much more trustworthy organ than whatever’s left in your head anyway. Still sensing some doubt in Arthur, Agravaine moves in for the kill. He’s very good at the manipulation thing and before too long, Arthur is convinced that he must set aside his feelings for Gwen for the good of the kingdom. Smooth, Agravaine, very smooth. Agravaine’s evil eyebrows celebrate.
See? Evil eyebrows are important.
As a hooded figure rides towards Camelot, we find Arthur letting out his frustrations on Merlin. Well, Merlin is holding a punching bag steady between them, but Arthur is really laying into it and eventually punches it so hard that it is knocked off its chain and sends Merlin flying to the ground. Not your finest moment, Arthur. Luckily Leon arrives before things go further and makes sure to stand over Merlin, who is still lying on the ground, while he delivers the news: Caerleon’s queen is marching with an army towards Camelot. Like there is ANYBODY who did not see this coming.
Arthur is preparing everyone for battle. They are to leave immediately in order to intercept the army before they reach Camelot and retain the high ground. The physical high ground. The moral one was lost when Arthur stuck his sword into the king. Everyone is all LONG LIVE THE KING except Merlin who thinks the world and everyone in it sucks right now.
OH HAI MORGANA. She magically breaks into Caerleon’s castle and asks for an audience with the queen. The queen recognises her as ‘Morgana Pendragon’ so I guess that cat’s well and truly out of the bag. “What business could you possibly have with me, witch?” Lots of catless bags, I see. Morgana tells the Queen Annis that she comes in the name of her father. Not Uther, but Gorlois, who raised her as a child and made her who she is. Huh. If Gorlois was as good and honourable as Annis remembers, I think Uther’s influence might be more prevalent in Morgana. Anyway, as we leave them, they seem to bond over seeking revenge on Pendragons. Expect them to be braiding each other’s hair and eating mint chocolate chip ice cream when we return.
Bedtime in Camelot. Merlin is turning down Arthur’s bed (both sides, which raises my non-evil eyebrows) as he tries for a light-hearted chat. It’s a very one-sided conversation with Merlin babbling on about yet another week in the wilderness “eating weird animals…being eaten by weird animals” with no hot water or baths, while Arthur is dressing in his blue hooded cloak of undercoverness. “This would be the last time either of us get to sleep in a proper bed!” Merlin cheerfully declares as he turns down Arthur’s side. My eyebrows climb impossibly higher. Arthur decides to speak. “Merlin, I’m prepared to face all manner of horrors in this world, but if you think I’m sharing this bed with you…” Merlin laughs, denies, and assures Arthur that wasn’t what he meant…in forced manner which tells us it totally WAS. Arthur heads out on secret king’s business and tells Merlin to not be there when he gets back. Oh, Merlin, it’s not you. You are still as desirable as ever, it’s just that Agravaine has gotten into his head again and now he thinks the people don’t approve of him sharing his bed with a servant. Let me tell you, however, that I am a person and I very much approve in this instance.
Arthur’s clever disguise is all for nothing, as he is stopped outside by a random guard, who is apologetic when he recognises the king. Still, Arthur looks around furtively as he knocks on Gwen’s door and is let inside. He tells Gwen he won’t be staying long and she is disappointed, like he usually stays for quite a while. My eyebrows are raised again. Oh, here it is, the good old ‘it’s not you, it’s me speech.’ Harsh. “Now that I’m king, Arthur tells her, “it’s no longer relevant what I may or may not want for myself. My only duty is to the people of this land. I will be judged by my actions, who I am seen with.” Whoa, whoa, back it up a bit, Pendragon. Not. Cool. Gwen feels the same way. Arthur assures her that he’s not ashamed to be seen with her, it’s just that it’s not appropriate now that circumstances have changed IN A WAY THAT THEY WERE ALWAYS EVENTUALLY GOING TO CHANGE AND YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE KISSING HER IN THE COURTYARD, ASSHOLE.
I guess it’s also not ‘appropriate’ for Gwen to bitchslap and kick the king out of her house, so she tries to get to the bottom of things, knowing that someone has talked Arthur into it. Arthur denies this, saying he’s his own man and makes his own decisions. And what are Gwen’s parting words? One would imagine something along the lines of, “YOU SUCK LIKE THE SUCKIEST THING THAT EVER SUCKED. ENJOY YOUR LIFE DEVOID OF PRETTY FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS NOW, YOU UTTER BASTARD.” But no. This is it: “Arthur. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do. You said you are your own man. You’ve a good heart. Be true to it. Only then will you be the king you want to be.”
Gwen, likeable Gwen, welcome back. It has been ages since we have seen you. And now that I like you again, you can totally borrow my copy of Alanis’ Jagged Little Pill and we shall gorge ourselves on fancy chocolates and talk about how all boys suck, even the impossibly pretty royal ones with perfectly perfect arses. Here, have a song that got me through some tough times (edited version, but everyone knows what rhymes with suck, right? I have the cassingle somewhere around here if needed. *g*)
(shut up, the 90s were rough, okay?)
And, fuck it, here’s another, Gwen, because I feel your pain:
Early 90s alterna-wannabe me is reliving some ~memories~ right now. Makes me want to dig out the old floral dresses and hiking boots. *cough* Back to the medieval present!
Arthur’s army is waiting for him in the courtyard, and they all ride out to war. Gaius and Gwen watch from the window like they have many times before. She says it’s different this time, now that Arthur is king and the fate of Camelot rests on his shoulders alone. “He’s not alone, Gwen. You above all people should know that,” Gauis says. She does know, she’s just not sure Arthur does. Cut to Arthur standing along on a cliff top like he’s about to film the video for an 80s power ballad. Heh.
Arthur checks out the opposing army from his vantage point. It’s massive. On the epic CGI scale of Cenred’s army of the dead, and definitely more than the couple of hundred men we saw filling Camelot’s courtyard - this army spans MILES. Agravaine joins Arthur and is told to ensure the men have everything they need and be well rested by morning. I dunno, I think the main thing the men need at this point is, oh, fifty thousand more men.
Night falls on camp Camelot. Leon joins Merlin and the other three knights around a fire as Arthur watches from his tent. Leon cuffs Merlin light-heartedly as they laugh at something and the others join in the good cheer. Wow. One thing I did not predict going in to this fourth series was that I would be into Leon/Merlin so much. They seemed to have formed a little bit of a friendship over the skipped year, which I would have thought the least likely out of all the knights. I’m loving it.
But just to lay on the guilt for my wandering loyalties, Arthur continues to watch his men from the sidelines, eyes full of love and wistfulness, until Merlin looks up and catches his eye. The smile drops from Merlin’s face as he gazes back, so all the knights notice and look up as well. Well and truly sprung, Arthur says they should all get some sleep, and retreats into his tent like a kicked puppy. “Is he all right?” Gwaine asks, screwing up his face adorably. Everyone is suddenly serious as Merlin explains. “He’s our king. If anything were to happen to any of us, he’d hold himself responsible.” Right, the knights think, time to nip this emo shit in the bud.
Elyan leads the gang into Arthur’s tent and addresses him as spokesperson for the rest. “We just want you to know there isn’t a man among us who would not die for you. We’ve made our pledge and we wear the Pendragon crest with pride. Tomorrow, we fight in your name, Sire, for freedom and justice in this land.” Oh, his voice is so pretty, I could listen to Elyan’s inspirational speeches all night long. Merlin is having a little moment in the background, too. Arthur thanks them and they take their leave, leaving Merlin to continue what they started.
Arthur wonders if he deserves the knights’ loyalty and Merlin assures him that no-one could care for their men like Arthur does and that they know Arthur wouldn’t send them into battle unless necessary. But Arthur knows it wouldn’t have been necessary if he hadn’t killed Caerleon, and…here’s the moment I fell in love with this episode, ARTHUR ADMITS THAT HE WAS WRONG. He made the wrong decision and now his beloved men must pay with their lives. Oh, Arthur Pendragon, THIS is the man I love with all my heart. Not only that you can admit to being wrong, but ALSO be able to talk to Merlin about it. And I love that Merlin is able to get this side of Arthur just by being there for him and understanding. I just really, really love how their relationship has matured this series.
T’was the night before battle and all through the camp, not a creature was stirring except one royal scamp. Arthur sneaks off in his hoodie again, but this time Merlin wakes and follows him, just in case he’s off to break someone else’s heart this evening. Stealthily, Merlin trips over some knightly feet I’m going to assume are Leon’s given their close proximity, and falls face first into a tent. Miraculously, Arthur is the only person to notice, and even he turns back and leaves after a cursory glance reveals nothing. Or maybe he saw Merlin peeking out of the tent and figured there was no use trying to convince him to stay anyway.
Arthur approaches the enemy camp and I have just noticed how their banners resemble the house of Stark’s. If Queen Annis has direwolves, I’m switching to her side. Sorry Arthur (and Daenerys), but direwolves trump even baby dragons.
(All the major wolfy bits in one video = awesome. Nymeria FTW.)
If there a wolves, we don’t seem them. Instead, Arthur greets the guards, unarmed, and is taken to meet the queen. Merlin follows unseen. First on the agenda for Queen Annis - BITCHSLAP.
(Hey, my mind was at a GoT place, and this is the most epic slap scene of all time.)
To be fair, Arthur deserved it, and he seems to agree, because he just continue on with his contrite apology like nothing happened, bless him. Arthur knows he can’t repair the queen’s loss and instead of a truce, he offers an alternative, invoking the right of single combat. It’s a battle of the champions! Annis isn’t so sure about granting Arthur such a favour, but Arthur tells her that enough blood has been shed already and they could save hundreds of lives this way. They’re just about to agree on the terms whereby a Camelot win means the queen withdraws the kingdom, and a loss means she gets half of it, when Merlin is caught and brought before her.
“Sorry about this,” Merlin tells Arthur as he is forced to kneel beside him, and Arthur has to admit that yes, he knows the guy, and that he’s his servant. The queen orders her men to kill him, so Arthur quickly steps in to beg for the life of his “simple-minded fool.” Heh, I don’t know if Merlin is more relieved or offended.
“That is TWO favours you have asked of me this night, Arthur Pendragon. Luckily, she grants him both, because she’s kinda awesome like that. Arthur has to announce his champion by midday and take his fool with him.
On the way back to camp, the fool is not very happy with Arthur’s assessment of his intelligence. Arthur is v. cranky and snaps. “What is wrong with you? Why can you never just let me be?” Well, I think we all know the answer to that, Arthur. Merlin takes a slightly different approach. “I’m your friend,” he says, spitting it out like an accusation. “I was looking out for you.” Arthur appreciates that in Merlin’s “confused way” he was only trying to help, but tells him not to do it again. It’s…actually a lot more patience and respect than I have expected from Arthur in stressful situations, and I approve.
It’s not only Merlin that isn’t happy with Arthur’s plan. Leon thinks they can win the war (dude, I love you to death, but did you SEE the size of that army?) and Elyan is concerned that if they lose the single combat battle, they’ll lose all their land. Arthur is sticking to his guns, however, and Merlin has to respect that. Now, according to Agravaine, Arthur must choose a champion. Percival is the first to step forward, quickly followed by Elyan, then Leon, and somehow Gwaine gets himself in the mix as well. But Arthur has only one just and honourable choice - he has been internalising a really complicated situation in his head to come up with the answer…
(Ahahahahaha, any excuse to include this video as it is made of awesomeness. WATCH IT)
Arthur will be his own champion. You bloody legend.
Queen Annis is suspicious. She doesn’t know why Arthur would nominate himself. Luckily, Morgana is there to dismissively explain that Arthur is the type to always risk his own life before those of his men. She makes it sound like that’s something to despise in a person, and this is pretty much where I think Morgana and I shall officially part ways. There’s little of the Morgana I liked left anymore, I don’t understand her motives and there’s nothing to evoke any kind of sympathy. It seems wrong that out of all the characters, she has undergone the most change, yet has evolved the least. Anyway, the queen is worried about Arthur’s reputation as a fierce warrior, so Morgana assures her that witchcraft will save the day. Time for some more fashion accessories, Morgana?
Oh, this time she appears to be going directly to the weapons, as Agravaine snatches Arthur’s sword while he sleeps and sneaks it to Morgana in the forest. Bibbity bobbity boo (the subtitles writers don’t even include the spell this week, just writing “she casts a spell in another language.” Ha! Even they don’t care about Morgana) and Arthur’s sword is FLAMING. “Arthur is as good as dead,” she says, and let’s not even pay any attention because HERE COMES A MERLIN/ARTHUR SCENE.
Merlin is dressing Arthur, who is complaining that Merlin has his girdle too tight or something. It’s enough to make Merlin happy for a brief moment. Right until Arthur places his ring in Merlin’s palm and asks him to give it to Guinevere with an apology if he dies. Merlin tries to talk Arthur out of it one last time but Arthur cannot be persuaded, not even by that beautiful shiny-eyed face right front of him. “For the first time since I became king, I know in my heart I’ve made the right decision.” SO MUCH LOVE. SO MUCH LOVE FROM ME FOR ARTHUR. SO MUCH LOVE FROM MERLIN FOR ARTHUR. SO MUCH LOVE FROM ME FOR THE BOTH OF THEM.
Merlin gets all quiet and shy and looks down instead of at Arthur. “Well, whatever happens out there, um…” He gulps and still won’t look up and Arthur is all, o_O and “You’re not about to start crying on me, are you?” Aw, bless. That’s enough to get his Merlin back. “No! Just….good luck.” And then there is nervous laughter and smiles and they stare into each other’s eyes with STUPID SILLY SMILEY FACES and I am DYING.
“Thank you, old friend,” Arthur says and they clasp each other’s arms in that manly about-to-die secret handshake they have AND IT IS SERIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL AND I AM IN LOVE AND WANT THEM TO STAY LIKE THIS FOREVER AND EVER AND OH GOD ARTHUR REALLY DOESN’T THINK HE’S COMING BACK, DOES HE? They stare into each other’s eyes for, oh, approximately twelve decades, until Agravaine comes in and ruins it. Whatever you have done and may yet do, Agravaine, THIS is what I will never forgive you for. THEY WERE JUST ABOUT TO KISS, I SWEAR IT.
It still takes the boys a bit longer to let go of each other, which Agravaine definitely seems to notice as his eyes track Merlin moving away. He asks Arthur if all is in readiness and Arthur defers to Merlin, who gets in one last cheeky eyefuck before declaring Arthur ready. And our precious king takes his cursed sword to his doom.
Starting at the giant boots, the camera slowly pans up Queen Annis’ champion so we can get a good look at him. This takes a REALLY long time because this champion is a GIANT. The guy, Derian, would make Percival look like Tyrion Lannister. Morgana has a few extra instructions: “No pity. No quarter. Do not hesitate for one second. Arthur Pendragon must die.”
The men enter the massive battle arena. Man, I hope Merlin has brought his long distance magic A-game this week. Camera angles accentuate Derian’s size, and Arthur’s visual pan and facial expressions do the rest. He’s much less excited than he was to first meet Percival. It makes me laugh. Agravaine picks Morgana out in the opposite crowd and gives her a smile. Nobody else notices. Let’s get ready to rumble! Actiony stuff happens. Given the comical size difference, let’s just assume it’s a little like this:
When Arthur finally draws first blood, it’s time for Morgana to enchant the sword with “the weight of a thousand ages” which apparently is v.v. heavy. Arthur can’t lift it, Derian knocks him onto his back and is just about to deliver the killing blow, so Merlin steps in for a little magic from the opposite side of the crowd. He makes Derian lose his own sword just long enough for Arthur to strike. Now it is Arthur who is about to finish the battle. Sword raised, he looks up a Merlin. Merlin looks back, all concerned and stuff (okay, Arthur could just be looking in the general direction of his men, but we only focus on the faces of Arthur and Merlin so what is a fangirl going to do but believe in the slash?) And then Arthur drives the sword down…right into the ground beside Derian’s head. The crowd goes wild.
“Long live the king!” Percival shouts. Elyan throws an arm around a relieved Merlin and everyone celebrates how awesome their king is. Everyone except Agravaine, whose slowclap is fooling no-one. Finally, as the crowd chants around him, Merlin allows himself to smile. And that, my friends, is the time King Arthur defeated the giant. Somebody get Geoffrey to write that down when you get back.
Queen Annis agrees to abide by the terms of their agreement and withdraw. Aw, really? I kind of like you and wouldn’t mind if you stuck around for a bit longer. She asks why Arthur spared her champion. “Because it is not victory I seek - it is peace. I hope today will mark a new beginning for our kingdoms.” Okay, if you did not fall in love with Arthur Pendragon right at that moment like the rest of the world surely has, you are not human, Annis. She doesn’t disappoint, but plays it kind of cool. “There is something about you, Arthur Pendragon. Something which gives me hope for us all.”
The queen is packing up when Morgana drops by with the usual, “he just got lucky, we’ll get him next time. Because there’s always a next time until around episode 12 or 13 when things inevitably come to a head.” Not with Annis, however, because she has switched to Team Arthur with the rest of us. She observes that Morgana is consumed by bitterness and in her grief, she let Morgana infect her. But now she knows she was wrong to seek revenge. Morgana has a bit of a hissy fit and vows never to rest until Camelot is hers. See ya, Morgana, don’t let the tent flap hit you on the way out. Oh, and P.S. Annis thinks you are more like Uther than you realise.
Oh, happy days, as our men arrive back home to crowds of cheering people waving flags and stuff.
Merlin: “You’re a hero.”
Arthur: “Thank you, Merlin.”
Merlin: “Not to me, to your people.”
Arthur: “Right. You think different?”
Merlin: “Maybe I know something they don’t.”
Arthur: “Which is?”
Merlin: “You know…that you’re a cabbage head.”
Arthur: “Maybe. I should’ve listened to you, Merlin. Just this once, I think you were right. Even if you are the worst servant in the five kingdoms.”
And we all know that when Arthur says Merlin is a bad servant, what he really means to say is, “I love you.”
Everyone cheers, the music crescendos. The End.
Oh, wait, one more scene. Arthur is in bed when Gwen knocks and enters with a jug. He leaps out of bed to greet her, grabbing something from under the pillow. Aw, it’s a wilted spray of purple flowers. As he holds them out to her, some hilariously drop off. He picked them by the side of the road, which I guess is the medieval equivalent of picking up the cheap bunch of chrysanthemums from the petrol station. I do like the idea of Arthur pausing an entire army behind him just so he can pick a bunch of flowers, though.
As far as apologies go, this one isn’t very good so far, but Arthur is so giddy and bouncy and Gwen is contrasted as being curt and controlled. Arthur has decided that a good king should be true to himself and do as he sees fit and be seen with those who he cares for. “Even if they’re not ‘appropriate’?” Gwen asks. Arthur’ answer to this is a sweet little kiss. Honestly, if you mute the violins and just use the subtitles, the scene is really cute. It is especially good when they break and the camera catches Arthur’s jaw just so and dear god, this entire episode is one big love letter to everything that is beautiful about Arthur Pendragon.
“Does that answer your question,” Arthur asks and I MELT INTO THE CARPET. Gwen says it’s a start, and they’re all playful and cute and then there’s a slightly less pretty kiss as Arthur pulls her close, but the camera cuts back to a wider shot and we see Arthur standing there in his PJs with bare feet kissing a servant alone in his room. Scandalous! And, well, I love a good scandal, me.
Next week: OH NOES, MERLIN. OH YES, MORGANA USING ARTHUR’S FONDNESS FOR MERLIN AGAINST HIM. OH YES, FUCKING YES, YES, YES, MORGANA TYING MERLIN UP AND GETTING HIM GOOD AND WET. OH NOES, MORGANA ENCHANTING MERLIN TO KILL ARTHUR. OH YES ARTHUR NOTICING SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH MERLIN. OH GOOD GRAVY WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THE AWESOMENESS OF MERLIN’S CROSSBOW FIRING PREMATURELY WHEN IN SUCH CLOSE PROXIMITY TO LEON - I THINK I MIGHT BE EVEN MORE IN LOVE WITH THIS SHIP NOW. AND MERLIN IS THE ONLY PERSON ARTHUR CAN TRUST - EEEEEEEEEE! ALSO NOOOOOOOO! PLEASE DON’T MAKE THIS RUIN WHAT THEY HAVE. AND DRAGOON HAUNTING MORGANA. EXCELLENT.
Um, that preview might have me a little excited for next week.
In a land of myth and a time of idyllic grassy vistas, a young red-caped knight of Camelot is running over a hill. He seems to be in a bit of a hurry. Probably because he has a bunch of angry armed men on his heels, I suppose.
The random Sir Tendeath runs, the angry men rawr and things escalate until our poor young knight is chased into a ravine. WAIT! That’s no random knight! It’s MERLIN. Wasn’t their Halloween a couple of eps back? No matter - Merlin looks pretty good in the chain mail/red cape combo and I approve of his costume choice. Ouch! While I have been admiring his style, Merlin has almost copped an axe to the groin area and is now seemingly trapped, as noted by the head angry guy. Uh-oh, Merlin does not appear to be happy about this.
Suddenly, an arrow whizzes through the air, straight into a random angry guy and everyone looks up to see groups of Camelot’s finest on either side of the ravine/path thing. One side has randoms, and the other has some more randoms along with Arthur, Agravaine, Percival, Leon and Elyan. I’m not sure where Gwaine is, but I’m guessing that Merlin had to borrow the outfit from SOMEONE so I like to think that Gwaine is pouting underneath a tree somewhere, adjusting Merlin’s uncomfortably ill-fitting clothes after they swapped.
The knights look badass. Merlin grins. “Trick or treat, bitches,” he says (translated) and we cut away to the opening titles just as Arthur throws himself on top of his first man.
While we were gone, Arthur and the knights took care of business and are just finishing up when we return. Agravaine has found something interesting on the head angry guy, which Arthur explains to Merlin is the royal crest of Caerleon. Congrats, boys, you’ve just done bagged yourself a king.
Oh! And I don’t think Merlin swapped outfits with Gwaine, or at least not capes, because Merlin is wearing a cape with the double medallion clasp that only Arthur (or Uther back in the pre-death days) wears. The other knights usually have a single buckle type thing to fasten their cloaks around their necks, while Arthur’s is more fancy. Oh to be the cleaning lady of the editing room, because somewhere on that floor is the scene where Merlin was getting dressed up as bait and Arthur was feeling guilty about it and stood behind Merlin and fastened his own cloak around Merlin’s neck “for luck”, lingering there until it got too weird, or Gwaine made a stiff-legged entrance complaining about how much Merlin’s pants chafed, or whatever.
Night falls, and Arthur and Agravaine have a fireside chat about their royal prisoner and what he could be doing in the heart of Arthur’s kingdom. Wait, he was in MERLIN? Oh, no, he just means in the general Camelot vicinity, and Agravaine explains that Caerleon is here because Uther is dead, and any decent evil king would take advantage of that. Everyone who knows Arthur loves him, granted, but to the enemies of Camelot, having a good-looking boyish king is pretty much an open invitation to conquer. Agravaine tells Arthur he needs to send a clear message to the likes of Caerleon, Odin and Bayard, that he is just as cold and ruthless as his daddy was and suggests that Arthur draw up a treaty for Carleon to sign. If Carleon refuses to withdraw his men, return their territories and surrender Everwick to them, he will be killed. Arthur’s pretty sure that such a treaty won’t be signed and doesn’t want to kill a man in cold blood. Agravaine thinks this would be the perfect opportunity for Arthur to assert his authoritah over the land.
Click to viewOverhearing all this, Merlin thinks it might be time to have a word or two of his own with the king but Arthur isn’t in the mood right now.
The next morning, Merlin wakes and finds Arthur still up and staring at the embers of the dying fire. He hands Arthur a drink and pokes around at the fire, worried that Arthur is cold, and then decides it’s time to have that chat. Arthur doesn’t think he has Uther’s wisdom or conviction and can only follow his example. WWUD? Humiliate and execute Caerleon, apparently. Merlin doesn’t think this is who Arthur is. Arthur doesn’t think Merlin understands the pressure he’s under. Merlin is sad.
Surprise, surprise, Caerleon won’t sign the treaty. He kneels before Arthur, demanding that his death be quick. Arthur, bless him, tries to convince Caerleon that a truce between them would bring peace to their lands, just like it did with their fathers before them. “I am not my father. And you are not Uther,” Caerleon says, and all but seals his fate. Then he calls Arthur, ‘boy’ and EVERYONE knows the guy is dead. Merlin scowls at Agravaine, who is smirking the smirk of the smug, and Caerleon bows his head. This isn’t Game of Thrones, so we cut away before Arthur even raises his sword, letting the musical cues tell the story.
Gaius watches from the window as the named characters in the party return to Camelot. The randoms are probably still cleaning up Arthur’s mess. Agravaine walks down the hall with Arthur, telling him that his approval ratings are through the roof and the latest polls suggest that Arthur’s father would be proud of him. Arthur isn’t all that keen on discussing the matter and thanks his uncle for the support and counsel, then enters his rooms, where Gwen is waiting for welcome back huggytimes. Agravaine doesn’t look too pleased. Merlin arrives and basically ignores everyone. Hey, Gwen, would it have killed you to at least welcome Merlin back as well? Is speaking to servants below you now?
Once alone together, Merlin starts unpacking while Arthur washes up. Merlin sympathises with what Arthur must be going through, but Arthur is playing it cool, basically parroting everything Agravaine has said about signs of strength. “Don’t you think compassion can also show strength?” Merlin asks. Arthur doesn’t think so and says he has no regrets but the fact that he’s getting uncomfortable with the conversation and trying to get Merlin to back off says otherwise.
Merlin thinks Arthur should talk about it. “You shouldn’t push your friends away, you know, not now, not when you need them most.” Oh, Merlin. His little happy delivery of the word ‘friend’ is made heartbreaking when Arthur tells him he’s wrong and that he doesn’t need anyone. “I don’t have that luxury,” Arthur says. “The kingdom is my responsibility now and mine to bear alone. And you must learn to accept that.” We leave on disappointed, shiny-eyed gazing.
Caerleon’s castle is quite impressive. The angry men are now sad men as they bring home the body of their king. The queen slash forensics expert examines the body and declares the cause of death to be murder by cowards. Arthur and the whole of Camelot will pay for this. Foreboding thunder is foreboding.
Back at Camelot, Arthur is sitting alone in his rooms when Agravaine enters for the next stage of his plan to undermine Arthur at every turn for reasons we are yet to learn, if we will at all. Today’s topic of discussion is Fraternising with Servant Girls: How to Lose the Respect of the People with One Easy Lay.
Agravaine: I’m sure Guinevere is possessed of many fine qualities. I can think of two off the top of my head, somewhat uneven as they are. But she is a servant.
Arthur: “That doesn’t matter to me.” Have you SEEN Merlin?
Agravaine: Oh, let me assure you that I’m not a bigot but…the PEOPLE totally are.
Arthur: I’m king now, I can do what I want and what I want to do is my servant.
Agravaine: Blah Blah expectations blah public image blah “the people do not wish to see their king with the daughter of a blacksmith” even if the son of said blacksmith is one of your four most trusted knights in all the kingdom.
Arthur: “This isn’t a matter of state, this is a matter of the heart.”
Me: *gags* And Agravaine is totally talking like he’s in a Jane Austen novel right now. Or maybe it’s the residual Lady Catherine from Lost in Austen that I’m getting from Queen Annis.
Agravaine *gags* “You cannot rule the kingdom with your heart, Arthur. You father understood that.”
Gaaaaaah. Of course you can rule with your heart, Arthur. God knows, after all those head injuries over the years, your heart is a much more trustworthy organ than whatever’s left in your head anyway. Still sensing some doubt in Arthur, Agravaine moves in for the kill. He’s very good at the manipulation thing and before too long, Arthur is convinced that he must set aside his feelings for Gwen for the good of the kingdom. Smooth, Agravaine, very smooth. Agravaine’s evil eyebrows celebrate.
See? Evil eyebrows are important.
As a hooded figure rides towards Camelot, we find Arthur letting out his frustrations on Merlin. Well, Merlin is holding a punching bag steady between them, but Arthur is really laying into it and eventually punches it so hard that it is knocked off its chain and sends Merlin flying to the ground. Not your finest moment, Arthur. Luckily Leon arrives before things go further and makes sure to stand over Merlin, who is still lying on the ground, while he delivers the news: Caerleon’s queen is marching with an army towards Camelot. Like there is ANYBODY who did not see this coming.
Arthur is preparing everyone for battle. They are to leave immediately in order to intercept the army before they reach Camelot and retain the high ground. The physical high ground. The moral one was lost when Arthur stuck his sword into the king. Everyone is all LONG LIVE THE KING except Merlin who thinks the world and everyone in it sucks right now.
OH HAI MORGANA. She magically breaks into Caerleon’s castle and asks for an audience with the queen. The queen recognises her as ‘Morgana Pendragon’ so I guess that cat’s well and truly out of the bag. “What business could you possibly have with me, witch?” Lots of catless bags, I see. Morgana tells the Queen Annis that she comes in the name of her father. Not Uther, but Gorlois, who raised her as a child and made her who she is. Huh. If Gorlois was as good and honourable as Annis remembers, I think Uther’s influence might be more prevalent in Morgana. Anyway, as we leave them, they seem to bond over seeking revenge on Pendragons. Expect them to be braiding each other’s hair and eating mint chocolate chip ice cream when we return.
Bedtime in Camelot. Merlin is turning down Arthur’s bed (both sides, which raises my non-evil eyebrows) as he tries for a light-hearted chat. It’s a very one-sided conversation with Merlin babbling on about yet another week in the wilderness “eating weird animals…being eaten by weird animals” with no hot water or baths, while Arthur is dressing in his blue hooded cloak of undercoverness. “This would be the last time either of us get to sleep in a proper bed!” Merlin cheerfully declares as he turns down Arthur’s side. My eyebrows climb impossibly higher. Arthur decides to speak. “Merlin, I’m prepared to face all manner of horrors in this world, but if you think I’m sharing this bed with you…” Merlin laughs, denies, and assures Arthur that wasn’t what he meant…in forced manner which tells us it totally WAS. Arthur heads out on secret king’s business and tells Merlin to not be there when he gets back. Oh, Merlin, it’s not you. You are still as desirable as ever, it’s just that Agravaine has gotten into his head again and now he thinks the people don’t approve of him sharing his bed with a servant. Let me tell you, however, that I am a person and I very much approve in this instance.
Arthur’s clever disguise is all for nothing, as he is stopped outside by a random guard, who is apologetic when he recognises the king. Still, Arthur looks around furtively as he knocks on Gwen’s door and is let inside. He tells Gwen he won’t be staying long and she is disappointed, like he usually stays for quite a while. My eyebrows are raised again. Oh, here it is, the good old ‘it’s not you, it’s me speech.’ Harsh. “Now that I’m king, Arthur tells her, “it’s no longer relevant what I may or may not want for myself. My only duty is to the people of this land. I will be judged by my actions, who I am seen with.” Whoa, whoa, back it up a bit, Pendragon. Not. Cool. Gwen feels the same way. Arthur assures her that he’s not ashamed to be seen with her, it’s just that it’s not appropriate now that circumstances have changed IN A WAY THAT THEY WERE ALWAYS EVENTUALLY GOING TO CHANGE AND YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE KISSING HER IN THE COURTYARD, ASSHOLE.
I guess it’s also not ‘appropriate’ for Gwen to bitchslap and kick the king out of her house, so she tries to get to the bottom of things, knowing that someone has talked Arthur into it. Arthur denies this, saying he’s his own man and makes his own decisions. And what are Gwen’s parting words? One would imagine something along the lines of, “YOU SUCK LIKE THE SUCKIEST THING THAT EVER SUCKED. ENJOY YOUR LIFE DEVOID OF PRETTY FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS NOW, YOU UTTER BASTARD.” But no. This is it: “Arthur. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do. You said you are your own man. You’ve a good heart. Be true to it. Only then will you be the king you want to be.”
Gwen, likeable Gwen, welcome back. It has been ages since we have seen you. And now that I like you again, you can totally borrow my copy of Alanis’ Jagged Little Pill and we shall gorge ourselves on fancy chocolates and talk about how all boys suck, even the impossibly pretty royal ones with perfectly perfect arses. Here, have a song that got me through some tough times (edited version, but everyone knows what rhymes with suck, right? I have the cassingle somewhere around here if needed. *g*)
(shut up, the 90s were rough, okay?)
And, fuck it, here’s another, Gwen, because I feel your pain:
Early 90s alterna-wannabe me is reliving some ~memories~ right now. Makes me want to dig out the old floral dresses and hiking boots. *cough* Back to the medieval present!
Arthur’s army is waiting for him in the courtyard, and they all ride out to war. Gaius and Gwen watch from the window like they have many times before. She says it’s different this time, now that Arthur is king and the fate of Camelot rests on his shoulders alone. “He’s not alone, Gwen. You above all people should know that,” Gauis says. She does know, she’s just not sure Arthur does. Cut to Arthur standing along on a cliff top like he’s about to film the video for an 80s power ballad. Heh.
Arthur checks out the opposing army from his vantage point. It’s massive. On the epic CGI scale of Cenred’s army of the dead, and definitely more than the couple of hundred men we saw filling Camelot’s courtyard - this army spans MILES. Agravaine joins Arthur and is told to ensure the men have everything they need and be well rested by morning. I dunno, I think the main thing the men need at this point is, oh, fifty thousand more men.
Night falls on camp Camelot. Leon joins Merlin and the other three knights around a fire as Arthur watches from his tent. Leon cuffs Merlin light-heartedly as they laugh at something and the others join in the good cheer. Wow. One thing I did not predict going in to this fourth series was that I would be into Leon/Merlin so much. They seemed to have formed a little bit of a friendship over the skipped year, which I would have thought the least likely out of all the knights. I’m loving it.
But just to lay on the guilt for my wandering loyalties, Arthur continues to watch his men from the sidelines, eyes full of love and wistfulness, until Merlin looks up and catches his eye. The smile drops from Merlin’s face as he gazes back, so all the knights notice and look up as well. Well and truly sprung, Arthur says they should all get some sleep, and retreats into his tent like a kicked puppy. “Is he all right?” Gwaine asks, screwing up his face adorably. Everyone is suddenly serious as Merlin explains. “He’s our king. If anything were to happen to any of us, he’d hold himself responsible.” Right, the knights think, time to nip this emo shit in the bud.
Elyan leads the gang into Arthur’s tent and addresses him as spokesperson for the rest. “We just want you to know there isn’t a man among us who would not die for you. We’ve made our pledge and we wear the Pendragon crest with pride. Tomorrow, we fight in your name, Sire, for freedom and justice in this land.” Oh, his voice is so pretty, I could listen to Elyan’s inspirational speeches all night long. Merlin is having a little moment in the background, too. Arthur thanks them and they take their leave, leaving Merlin to continue what they started.
Arthur wonders if he deserves the knights’ loyalty and Merlin assures him that no-one could care for their men like Arthur does and that they know Arthur wouldn’t send them into battle unless necessary. But Arthur knows it wouldn’t have been necessary if he hadn’t killed Caerleon, and…here’s the moment I fell in love with this episode, ARTHUR ADMITS THAT HE WAS WRONG. He made the wrong decision and now his beloved men must pay with their lives. Oh, Arthur Pendragon, THIS is the man I love with all my heart. Not only that you can admit to being wrong, but ALSO be able to talk to Merlin about it. And I love that Merlin is able to get this side of Arthur just by being there for him and understanding. I just really, really love how their relationship has matured this series.
T’was the night before battle and all through the camp, not a creature was stirring except one royal scamp. Arthur sneaks off in his hoodie again, but this time Merlin wakes and follows him, just in case he’s off to break someone else’s heart this evening. Stealthily, Merlin trips over some knightly feet I’m going to assume are Leon’s given their close proximity, and falls face first into a tent. Miraculously, Arthur is the only person to notice, and even he turns back and leaves after a cursory glance reveals nothing. Or maybe he saw Merlin peeking out of the tent and figured there was no use trying to convince him to stay anyway.
Arthur approaches the enemy camp and I have just noticed how their banners resemble the house of Stark’s. If Queen Annis has direwolves, I’m switching to her side. Sorry Arthur (and Daenerys), but direwolves trump even baby dragons.
(All the major wolfy bits in one video = awesome. Nymeria FTW.)
If there a wolves, we don’t seem them. Instead, Arthur greets the guards, unarmed, and is taken to meet the queen. Merlin follows unseen. First on the agenda for Queen Annis - BITCHSLAP.
(Hey, my mind was at a GoT place, and this is the most epic slap scene of all time.)
To be fair, Arthur deserved it, and he seems to agree, because he just continue on with his contrite apology like nothing happened, bless him. Arthur knows he can’t repair the queen’s loss and instead of a truce, he offers an alternative, invoking the right of single combat. It’s a battle of the champions! Annis isn’t so sure about granting Arthur such a favour, but Arthur tells her that enough blood has been shed already and they could save hundreds of lives this way. They’re just about to agree on the terms whereby a Camelot win means the queen withdraws the kingdom, and a loss means she gets half of it, when Merlin is caught and brought before her.
“Sorry about this,” Merlin tells Arthur as he is forced to kneel beside him, and Arthur has to admit that yes, he knows the guy, and that he’s his servant. The queen orders her men to kill him, so Arthur quickly steps in to beg for the life of his “simple-minded fool.” Heh, I don’t know if Merlin is more relieved or offended.
“That is TWO favours you have asked of me this night, Arthur Pendragon. Luckily, she grants him both, because she’s kinda awesome like that. Arthur has to announce his champion by midday and take his fool with him.
On the way back to camp, the fool is not very happy with Arthur’s assessment of his intelligence. Arthur is v. cranky and snaps. “What is wrong with you? Why can you never just let me be?” Well, I think we all know the answer to that, Arthur. Merlin takes a slightly different approach. “I’m your friend,” he says, spitting it out like an accusation. “I was looking out for you.” Arthur appreciates that in Merlin’s “confused way” he was only trying to help, but tells him not to do it again. It’s…actually a lot more patience and respect than I have expected from Arthur in stressful situations, and I approve.
It’s not only Merlin that isn’t happy with Arthur’s plan. Leon thinks they can win the war (dude, I love you to death, but did you SEE the size of that army?) and Elyan is concerned that if they lose the single combat battle, they’ll lose all their land. Arthur is sticking to his guns, however, and Merlin has to respect that. Now, according to Agravaine, Arthur must choose a champion. Percival is the first to step forward, quickly followed by Elyan, then Leon, and somehow Gwaine gets himself in the mix as well. But Arthur has only one just and honourable choice - he has been internalising a really complicated situation in his head to come up with the answer…
(Ahahahahaha, any excuse to include this video as it is made of awesomeness. WATCH IT)
Arthur will be his own champion. You bloody legend.
Queen Annis is suspicious. She doesn’t know why Arthur would nominate himself. Luckily, Morgana is there to dismissively explain that Arthur is the type to always risk his own life before those of his men. She makes it sound like that’s something to despise in a person, and this is pretty much where I think Morgana and I shall officially part ways. There’s little of the Morgana I liked left anymore, I don’t understand her motives and there’s nothing to evoke any kind of sympathy. It seems wrong that out of all the characters, she has undergone the most change, yet has evolved the least. Anyway, the queen is worried about Arthur’s reputation as a fierce warrior, so Morgana assures her that witchcraft will save the day. Time for some more fashion accessories, Morgana?
Oh, this time she appears to be going directly to the weapons, as Agravaine snatches Arthur’s sword while he sleeps and sneaks it to Morgana in the forest. Bibbity bobbity boo (the subtitles writers don’t even include the spell this week, just writing “she casts a spell in another language.” Ha! Even they don’t care about Morgana) and Arthur’s sword is FLAMING. “Arthur is as good as dead,” she says, and let’s not even pay any attention because HERE COMES A MERLIN/ARTHUR SCENE.
Merlin is dressing Arthur, who is complaining that Merlin has his girdle too tight or something. It’s enough to make Merlin happy for a brief moment. Right until Arthur places his ring in Merlin’s palm and asks him to give it to Guinevere with an apology if he dies. Merlin tries to talk Arthur out of it one last time but Arthur cannot be persuaded, not even by that beautiful shiny-eyed face right front of him. “For the first time since I became king, I know in my heart I’ve made the right decision.” SO MUCH LOVE. SO MUCH LOVE FROM ME FOR ARTHUR. SO MUCH LOVE FROM MERLIN FOR ARTHUR. SO MUCH LOVE FROM ME FOR THE BOTH OF THEM.
Merlin gets all quiet and shy and looks down instead of at Arthur. “Well, whatever happens out there, um…” He gulps and still won’t look up and Arthur is all, o_O and “You’re not about to start crying on me, are you?” Aw, bless. That’s enough to get his Merlin back. “No! Just….good luck.” And then there is nervous laughter and smiles and they stare into each other’s eyes with STUPID SILLY SMILEY FACES and I am DYING.
“Thank you, old friend,” Arthur says and they clasp each other’s arms in that manly about-to-die secret handshake they have AND IT IS SERIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL AND I AM IN LOVE AND WANT THEM TO STAY LIKE THIS FOREVER AND EVER AND OH GOD ARTHUR REALLY DOESN’T THINK HE’S COMING BACK, DOES HE? They stare into each other’s eyes for, oh, approximately twelve decades, until Agravaine comes in and ruins it. Whatever you have done and may yet do, Agravaine, THIS is what I will never forgive you for. THEY WERE JUST ABOUT TO KISS, I SWEAR IT.
It still takes the boys a bit longer to let go of each other, which Agravaine definitely seems to notice as his eyes track Merlin moving away. He asks Arthur if all is in readiness and Arthur defers to Merlin, who gets in one last cheeky eyefuck before declaring Arthur ready. And our precious king takes his cursed sword to his doom.
Starting at the giant boots, the camera slowly pans up Queen Annis’ champion so we can get a good look at him. This takes a REALLY long time because this champion is a GIANT. The guy, Derian, would make Percival look like Tyrion Lannister. Morgana has a few extra instructions: “No pity. No quarter. Do not hesitate for one second. Arthur Pendragon must die.”
The men enter the massive battle arena. Man, I hope Merlin has brought his long distance magic A-game this week. Camera angles accentuate Derian’s size, and Arthur’s visual pan and facial expressions do the rest. He’s much less excited than he was to first meet Percival. It makes me laugh. Agravaine picks Morgana out in the opposite crowd and gives her a smile. Nobody else notices. Let’s get ready to rumble! Actiony stuff happens. Given the comical size difference, let’s just assume it’s a little like this:
When Arthur finally draws first blood, it’s time for Morgana to enchant the sword with “the weight of a thousand ages” which apparently is v.v. heavy. Arthur can’t lift it, Derian knocks him onto his back and is just about to deliver the killing blow, so Merlin steps in for a little magic from the opposite side of the crowd. He makes Derian lose his own sword just long enough for Arthur to strike. Now it is Arthur who is about to finish the battle. Sword raised, he looks up a Merlin. Merlin looks back, all concerned and stuff (okay, Arthur could just be looking in the general direction of his men, but we only focus on the faces of Arthur and Merlin so what is a fangirl going to do but believe in the slash?) And then Arthur drives the sword down…right into the ground beside Derian’s head. The crowd goes wild.
“Long live the king!” Percival shouts. Elyan throws an arm around a relieved Merlin and everyone celebrates how awesome their king is. Everyone except Agravaine, whose slowclap is fooling no-one. Finally, as the crowd chants around him, Merlin allows himself to smile. And that, my friends, is the time King Arthur defeated the giant. Somebody get Geoffrey to write that down when you get back.
Queen Annis agrees to abide by the terms of their agreement and withdraw. Aw, really? I kind of like you and wouldn’t mind if you stuck around for a bit longer. She asks why Arthur spared her champion. “Because it is not victory I seek - it is peace. I hope today will mark a new beginning for our kingdoms.” Okay, if you did not fall in love with Arthur Pendragon right at that moment like the rest of the world surely has, you are not human, Annis. She doesn’t disappoint, but plays it kind of cool. “There is something about you, Arthur Pendragon. Something which gives me hope for us all.”
The queen is packing up when Morgana drops by with the usual, “he just got lucky, we’ll get him next time. Because there’s always a next time until around episode 12 or 13 when things inevitably come to a head.” Not with Annis, however, because she has switched to Team Arthur with the rest of us. She observes that Morgana is consumed by bitterness and in her grief, she let Morgana infect her. But now she knows she was wrong to seek revenge. Morgana has a bit of a hissy fit and vows never to rest until Camelot is hers. See ya, Morgana, don’t let the tent flap hit you on the way out. Oh, and P.S. Annis thinks you are more like Uther than you realise.
Oh, happy days, as our men arrive back home to crowds of cheering people waving flags and stuff.
Merlin: “You’re a hero.”
Arthur: “Thank you, Merlin.”
Merlin: “Not to me, to your people.”
Arthur: “Right. You think different?”
Merlin: “Maybe I know something they don’t.”
Arthur: “Which is?”
Merlin: “You know…that you’re a cabbage head.”
Arthur: “Maybe. I should’ve listened to you, Merlin. Just this once, I think you were right. Even if you are the worst servant in the five kingdoms.”
And we all know that when Arthur says Merlin is a bad servant, what he really means to say is, “I love you.”
Everyone cheers, the music crescendos. The End.
Oh, wait, one more scene. Arthur is in bed when Gwen knocks and enters with a jug. He leaps out of bed to greet her, grabbing something from under the pillow. Aw, it’s a wilted spray of purple flowers. As he holds them out to her, some hilariously drop off. He picked them by the side of the road, which I guess is the medieval equivalent of picking up the cheap bunch of chrysanthemums from the petrol station. I do like the idea of Arthur pausing an entire army behind him just so he can pick a bunch of flowers, though.
As far as apologies go, this one isn’t very good so far, but Arthur is so giddy and bouncy and Gwen is contrasted as being curt and controlled. Arthur has decided that a good king should be true to himself and do as he sees fit and be seen with those who he cares for. “Even if they’re not ‘appropriate’?” Gwen asks. Arthur’ answer to this is a sweet little kiss. Honestly, if you mute the violins and just use the subtitles, the scene is really cute. It is especially good when they break and the camera catches Arthur’s jaw just so and dear god, this entire episode is one big love letter to everything that is beautiful about Arthur Pendragon.
“Does that answer your question,” Arthur asks and I MELT INTO THE CARPET. Gwen says it’s a start, and they’re all playful and cute and then there’s a slightly less pretty kiss as Arthur pulls her close, but the camera cuts back to a wider shot and we see Arthur standing there in his PJs with bare feet kissing a servant alone in his room. Scandalous! And, well, I love a good scandal, me.
Next week: OH NOES, MERLIN. OH YES, MORGANA USING ARTHUR’S FONDNESS FOR MERLIN AGAINST HIM. OH YES, FUCKING YES, YES, YES, MORGANA TYING MERLIN UP AND GETTING HIM GOOD AND WET. OH NOES, MORGANA ENCHANTING MERLIN TO KILL ARTHUR. OH YES ARTHUR NOTICING SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH MERLIN. OH GOOD GRAVY WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THE AWESOMENESS OF MERLIN’S CROSSBOW FIRING PREMATURELY WHEN IN SUCH CLOSE PROXIMITY TO LEON - I THINK I MIGHT BE EVEN MORE IN LOVE WITH THIS SHIP NOW. AND MERLIN IS THE ONLY PERSON ARTHUR CAN TRUST - EEEEEEEEEE! ALSO NOOOOOOOO! PLEASE DON’T MAKE THIS RUIN WHAT THEY HAVE. AND DRAGOON HAUNTING MORGANA. EXCELLENT.
Um, that preview might have me a little excited for next week.