I love my life
I am just so full of love lately. Turmoil has been fleeting, and although my anxiety has had its buttons pressed a couple times in the last few weeks, it's nothing that I haven't been able to manage (mostly) effectively.
School starts next week (omg). I switch over to part time work next week as well, so this is my last week of 8 hour days over at Grandstand, which I'm quite happy for. I dunno what's going to happen come fall, but at least I know that through summer I'll have a steady income and won't have to rely on loans for at least a few months.
There has been some bullshit regarding my FAFSA, but there is nothing I can do about it until next year. The way this country works, they expect my family who only made $39k last year to give me $8.5k for school. Even though I've been living independently of my family for over a year now (and have lived financially independent of them for a long time), I still have to be claimed as a dependent on my FAFSA. :/ Next year I should get the cash I deserve (at the rates I deserve), and not have to take out loans under my parents' name -- which is what's pissing me off about this whole thing. The govt says, yes, take out $20k - under your mom's name! lol fml
So, just going to keep working and paying what I can out of pocket, and once I start taking out loans, I'll pay off the interest as I go. I'm hoping this won't be too difficult, but only time will tell. I'm on shaky ground trying to get on my feet here with school, but luckily, I think I've acquired some sea legs by now.
Other than that stress-fest, life has been well. I'm treated so lovingly in my day-to-day life that I've forgotten what it's like to live in an emotionally abusive relationship/household, although I don't take it for granted. I just do what I can to put in the work and prove that I'm worth all this good treatment. I've still got some old scars on my self-esteem from that time, but I've made a lot of headway into figuring out why my irrationalities keep rearing their ugly heads. The pendulum has been swinging less and less.
I think a great deal of the reason it's been swinging far less is that I'm now on my 6th month out of hormonal BC (Depo shot). The shot has really fucked up my hormones for the last year and a half, and they're slowly, slowly balancing out. My cycle still hasn't come back, but at least the emotional/raging bitch is starting to peter out.
All and all, I'm happy for this leg of waiting to go back to school is drawing for a close. I'm thankful for the people around me who support and love me with such ferocity. The tenacity has paid off tenfold.
School starts next week (omg). I switch over to part time work next week as well, so this is my last week of 8 hour days over at Grandstand, which I'm quite happy for. I dunno what's going to happen come fall, but at least I know that through summer I'll have a steady income and won't have to rely on loans for at least a few months.
There has been some bullshit regarding my FAFSA, but there is nothing I can do about it until next year. The way this country works, they expect my family who only made $39k last year to give me $8.5k for school. Even though I've been living independently of my family for over a year now (and have lived financially independent of them for a long time), I still have to be claimed as a dependent on my FAFSA. :/ Next year I should get the cash I deserve (at the rates I deserve), and not have to take out loans under my parents' name -- which is what's pissing me off about this whole thing. The govt says, yes, take out $20k - under your mom's name! lol fml
So, just going to keep working and paying what I can out of pocket, and once I start taking out loans, I'll pay off the interest as I go. I'm hoping this won't be too difficult, but only time will tell. I'm on shaky ground trying to get on my feet here with school, but luckily, I think I've acquired some sea legs by now.
Other than that stress-fest, life has been well. I'm treated so lovingly in my day-to-day life that I've forgotten what it's like to live in an emotionally abusive relationship/household, although I don't take it for granted. I just do what I can to put in the work and prove that I'm worth all this good treatment. I've still got some old scars on my self-esteem from that time, but I've made a lot of headway into figuring out why my irrationalities keep rearing their ugly heads. The pendulum has been swinging less and less.
I think a great deal of the reason it's been swinging far less is that I'm now on my 6th month out of hormonal BC (Depo shot). The shot has really fucked up my hormones for the last year and a half, and they're slowly, slowly balancing out. My cycle still hasn't come back, but at least the emotional/raging bitch is starting to peter out.
All and all, I'm happy for this leg of waiting to go back to school is drawing for a close. I'm thankful for the people around me who support and love me with such ferocity. The tenacity has paid off tenfold.