practical illusion, also called hate
Fuck her. She cant talk, I wont pay any attention. I'm giving her up, no; I gave her up. No association no longer, just me all by myself and thats just the way I want it..
So what do I do? Honestly, she isnt what I need so how do I leave it and move on? Dunno. Ya know when ya meet someone perfect? That absolute perfectness of loveliness all entangled within one girls body and mind? Thats what I need, thats precisely everything in the world that everyone needs and everyone is looking for. Going to camp this summer, wont find it there, I'll probably find some replacement thats a little bit closer than most others and quickly fall into hormonal capture like a fucking pigeon. Meh. Had it once, had that pure perfectness, but everyone thinks shes a slut and she is. Everyone says she bad and to stay away from her. Its like that perfect spot that I like so well, with graphiti and pollution so abundant youve gotta cough, thats bad and yet amazingly beautiful and I cant go a day without thinking about it. I cant go a day without thinking about her either. Outta Julias profile; "Never give up on something you cant go a day without thinking about." Need I say more?
I prayed today.
I actually prayed, I prayed for help; for even a little guidance for whatever is coming my way. To overcome these obstacles that are everywhere, in everyone I see. I ask for understanding and love, but if God explained everything, what need would there be for faith?
Havent really talked to Farren in weeks.
Havent written in my journal since March 30th.
Havent quit smoking.
Havent played Ash in 4 days.
So what do I do? Honestly, she isnt what I need so how do I leave it and move on? Dunno. Ya know when ya meet someone perfect? That absolute perfectness of loveliness all entangled within one girls body and mind? Thats what I need, thats precisely everything in the world that everyone needs and everyone is looking for. Going to camp this summer, wont find it there, I'll probably find some replacement thats a little bit closer than most others and quickly fall into hormonal capture like a fucking pigeon. Meh. Had it once, had that pure perfectness, but everyone thinks shes a slut and she is. Everyone says she bad and to stay away from her. Its like that perfect spot that I like so well, with graphiti and pollution so abundant youve gotta cough, thats bad and yet amazingly beautiful and I cant go a day without thinking about it. I cant go a day without thinking about her either. Outta Julias profile; "Never give up on something you cant go a day without thinking about." Need I say more?
I prayed today.
I actually prayed, I prayed for help; for even a little guidance for whatever is coming my way. To overcome these obstacles that are everywhere, in everyone I see. I ask for understanding and love, but if God explained everything, what need would there be for faith?
Havent really talked to Farren in weeks.
Havent written in my journal since March 30th.
Havent quit smoking.
Havent played Ash in 4 days.