(no subject)
i feel so weird right now... i dont even really know why. i miss beomsoo, i havent talked to him at all in like 15 days. why does it even matter though!? its not like anythings gonna happen w/ him, he lives in korea, hes 10,000 miles away. thats a 20 hour flight. i cant even call him!! sometimes i feel like hes such a blessing, then other times its like, why? its not even fair... i shouldnt be throwing myself a pitty party anyway... its a good thing hes that far away, i dont have to be all tempted to do stuff w/ him. i think thats why mom likes him so much, haha. when ron was talking about giving your heart away and how painful it was, i was glad that these were only guys i liked. what if i had went out with them? i dont even want to imagine having sex w/ someone and then breaking up, i dont understand how people can do that. thats deffinately one of the reasons why im waiting until im married. but i feel like crying right now, and it makes me mad, because its not worth me crying over. i feel dumb now. i always try to think im above all this teenage-romance-i-wanna-love-someone-now kinda thing. but im not... not at all. sheesh, im such a teenager, i need to get over it.