(no subject)
hm, i havent updated in a couple of days, lol! my brother is doing great by the way, so thanks for praying and letters!! youre awesome!! anyway, there was something ive been thinking about, and i kinda wanted to tell ron about it, but i figure i might as well write it on here instead so he wont make me cry!! lol!! and it would be nice to see what other people think as well.
so alot in ec, ron talks about this certain verse where paul basically says he would give up his salvation if that would mean the jews would be saved. now i read this before ron brought it up, and i said, paul, youre crazy!! although this is something i wish i could say, im not gonna throw it around like its a small statement or something. ron is right, it is a very huge profound thing to say, hell is not just some dark place with the occasional bomb fire, its torture by pain and demons for all eternity, and thats the easy part. hell is seperation from God. im not willing to do that. ive had this conversation w/ God before, that im sorry that i cant say that i would give up my salvation, its a gift i know, but i really want it! sooo the other day in church, i was thinking about my brother, and this scary thought popped up in my mind, 'would you give it up for zech?' talk about pain!! how could i say no to that, but how could i say yes... so finally i said yes. and i practically smacked myself for it, why did you say yes?? you know thats too much for you to comprehend! and then i remembered on tv, this guy was telling the story of abraham and isaac, when God told abraham to sacrifice isaac. i had always thought that the reason God told him to do that was because abraham was loving isaac more than God and he had to prove to God that he loved Him more. but, in the bible, abraham says, he was willing to kill isaac BECAUSE he had faith that God could raise people from the dead. which i found really weird, like even though hes doing this for God, he still probably wouldnt do it without that small hope that he could have isaac back. and God still let isaac live too!! SOOOO i said to God, i would go to hell for zech, but because i have faith that you would honor that sacrifice and i would not be down there forever. what do you think about that? is it wronge?? am i like making a weird loop hole out of the bible? please tell me what you think. anyways, after i decided this, i started thinking about it, and i said, dude, if i was in hell, i would so be praising God the whole time im down there, because i would know the pain that i spared someone, and how good He is cuz i have faith that Hes gonna bring me out. and then i thought of the degrees of hell thing, and i think that if the demons heard me praising God they would go crazy and throw me into the deepest parts, but that would only be like funny to me! im so weird, i know, lol!! i mean, even Jesus was only in hell for like 3 days, and he saved a ton of people that way. i remember back in like 7th grade, i told God that i would go to hell for three days if that meant all my friends would go to heaven. but keeping in mind my "last unicorn" analogy from my xanga journal, (www.xanga.com/dina_marie34) Jesus had to give up alot just to come to earth, He was used to spending everyday in complete love and glory and He was with His dad every single day. can you imagine how much worse that is for Jesus to go to hell than just any normal person?? He was seperated from his dad that he loves way more than any of us can even fathom, and there are other people down there that never spent any time w/ God at all.
i had a dream awhile back that i found my cousin brooke locked up in a basement of a night club where she was held like a prisoner of war and was raped every night. i tried to sneak her out, but a guard walked in and had a gun and was going to shoot me, but brooke convinced them that i wouldnt tell anyone she was there, and i agreed, so he let me go. i went home and i couldnt do anything w/o thinking about her, i went to my dad, and said, what if you knew someone was in trouble and wouldnt get helped unless you told, but if you told you might die? and dad goes, regina, stop right now, dont tell anyone!! and im sobbing at this point, and i said, but dad!! its brooke, poor little brooke, shes locked up and i need to help her!! when i woke up i was so mad at myself, why did i deny her in front of the guard, trying to save myself when im already saved! and i told God, if i could get the chance to go back there, i would take her place. God knows better than anyone else how scared i am of rape, i havent even been raped, but with how modest i am, i cringe at even the thought of someone trying to touch me against my will. and keeping in mind that i would get raped everyday and die there, and that brooke may never change or find God, i would still do it. ( i wonder if that counts? )
Happy Birthday Jessica!!! youre fadeless!!!
love ya!
~Regina
so alot in ec, ron talks about this certain verse where paul basically says he would give up his salvation if that would mean the jews would be saved. now i read this before ron brought it up, and i said, paul, youre crazy!! although this is something i wish i could say, im not gonna throw it around like its a small statement or something. ron is right, it is a very huge profound thing to say, hell is not just some dark place with the occasional bomb fire, its torture by pain and demons for all eternity, and thats the easy part. hell is seperation from God. im not willing to do that. ive had this conversation w/ God before, that im sorry that i cant say that i would give up my salvation, its a gift i know, but i really want it! sooo the other day in church, i was thinking about my brother, and this scary thought popped up in my mind, 'would you give it up for zech?' talk about pain!! how could i say no to that, but how could i say yes... so finally i said yes. and i practically smacked myself for it, why did you say yes?? you know thats too much for you to comprehend! and then i remembered on tv, this guy was telling the story of abraham and isaac, when God told abraham to sacrifice isaac. i had always thought that the reason God told him to do that was because abraham was loving isaac more than God and he had to prove to God that he loved Him more. but, in the bible, abraham says, he was willing to kill isaac BECAUSE he had faith that God could raise people from the dead. which i found really weird, like even though hes doing this for God, he still probably wouldnt do it without that small hope that he could have isaac back. and God still let isaac live too!! SOOOO i said to God, i would go to hell for zech, but because i have faith that you would honor that sacrifice and i would not be down there forever. what do you think about that? is it wronge?? am i like making a weird loop hole out of the bible? please tell me what you think. anyways, after i decided this, i started thinking about it, and i said, dude, if i was in hell, i would so be praising God the whole time im down there, because i would know the pain that i spared someone, and how good He is cuz i have faith that Hes gonna bring me out. and then i thought of the degrees of hell thing, and i think that if the demons heard me praising God they would go crazy and throw me into the deepest parts, but that would only be like funny to me! im so weird, i know, lol!! i mean, even Jesus was only in hell for like 3 days, and he saved a ton of people that way. i remember back in like 7th grade, i told God that i would go to hell for three days if that meant all my friends would go to heaven. but keeping in mind my "last unicorn" analogy from my xanga journal, (www.xanga.com/dina_marie34) Jesus had to give up alot just to come to earth, He was used to spending everyday in complete love and glory and He was with His dad every single day. can you imagine how much worse that is for Jesus to go to hell than just any normal person?? He was seperated from his dad that he loves way more than any of us can even fathom, and there are other people down there that never spent any time w/ God at all.
i had a dream awhile back that i found my cousin brooke locked up in a basement of a night club where she was held like a prisoner of war and was raped every night. i tried to sneak her out, but a guard walked in and had a gun and was going to shoot me, but brooke convinced them that i wouldnt tell anyone she was there, and i agreed, so he let me go. i went home and i couldnt do anything w/o thinking about her, i went to my dad, and said, what if you knew someone was in trouble and wouldnt get helped unless you told, but if you told you might die? and dad goes, regina, stop right now, dont tell anyone!! and im sobbing at this point, and i said, but dad!! its brooke, poor little brooke, shes locked up and i need to help her!! when i woke up i was so mad at myself, why did i deny her in front of the guard, trying to save myself when im already saved! and i told God, if i could get the chance to go back there, i would take her place. God knows better than anyone else how scared i am of rape, i havent even been raped, but with how modest i am, i cringe at even the thought of someone trying to touch me against my will. and keeping in mind that i would get raped everyday and die there, and that brooke may never change or find God, i would still do it. ( i wonder if that counts? )
Happy Birthday Jessica!!! youre fadeless!!!
love ya!
~Regina