Yet another Post
You know, Ive had this journal for a long time, longer then my previous journals... I keep it updated atleast once a month, and i actually share things that mostly, i wouldnt share with other people
Ive ranted
Ive thanked
Ive shown love
and ive hated
all on this thing
Ive lost friends, Ive gained respect for friends
And honestly... I usually dont share alot of my true feelings... So im going to actually share a bit
Everyone by now knows im back with Nik, and i love her with all my heart.. And its probably the greatest feeling and gift ive had for years upon years
But there are still small things in this relationship that bother me.... Not with Nik... no no no...
Other things
For instance
Me and Nik have dated twice before Long Distance over the Phone/Net when i was in kentucky.... And i cheated on her a few times and broke her heart... Not that it was right.. i know it was wrong and my retarded mistake... But i found something closer and wanted to pursue it.... needless to say.. that didnt work well
And i take full responsibility for it and i hate myself for it
But what irritates me, is how her friends... Kasey, Karree, Carey, Courtney, etc etc all hate me
Its not like theyve taken the time out of their lives and gotten to know who i really am
I accept the fact that i fucked up in the past and made some wrong decisions
Not like none of them have ever made mistakes in their life
And i dont like it that Nik has to choose between her friends or me everytime her friends want to hang out with her
Cause when my name is brought up... they cancel... Like tonight when Courtney wanted Nik to come see her costume... Nik wanted me to go with.. and Nik mentioned me going and she cancelled..
I have feelings too.... And Nik loves me... and she loves her friends
Especially Court and Karree....
and she shouldnt have to choose whether to hang out with me or her friends
I dont want to make her make that decision.... It hurts her just as bad if not more that her friends cant open their eyes and their heart and grow up and look at the situation and realize that Shes in love with me, and that im treating her like a Princess and showing all the love i have left in my heart to Nik
I understand that you dont have to like me... I understand that you can hate me... but atleast get to know the real me... Not the person you heard about doing stupid shit when i was 18.. 19..20 years old....
Grow up and Move on..... Dont make our situation more difficult because you refuse to grow up
Nik... please past this on to all your friends and hope they can understand and listen for once
Ive ranted
Ive thanked
Ive shown love
and ive hated
all on this thing
Ive lost friends, Ive gained respect for friends
And honestly... I usually dont share alot of my true feelings... So im going to actually share a bit
Everyone by now knows im back with Nik, and i love her with all my heart.. And its probably the greatest feeling and gift ive had for years upon years
But there are still small things in this relationship that bother me.... Not with Nik... no no no...
Other things
For instance
Me and Nik have dated twice before Long Distance over the Phone/Net when i was in kentucky.... And i cheated on her a few times and broke her heart... Not that it was right.. i know it was wrong and my retarded mistake... But i found something closer and wanted to pursue it.... needless to say.. that didnt work well
And i take full responsibility for it and i hate myself for it
But what irritates me, is how her friends... Kasey, Karree, Carey, Courtney, etc etc all hate me
Its not like theyve taken the time out of their lives and gotten to know who i really am
I accept the fact that i fucked up in the past and made some wrong decisions
Not like none of them have ever made mistakes in their life
And i dont like it that Nik has to choose between her friends or me everytime her friends want to hang out with her
Cause when my name is brought up... they cancel... Like tonight when Courtney wanted Nik to come see her costume... Nik wanted me to go with.. and Nik mentioned me going and she cancelled..
I have feelings too.... And Nik loves me... and she loves her friends
Especially Court and Karree....
and she shouldnt have to choose whether to hang out with me or her friends
I dont want to make her make that decision.... It hurts her just as bad if not more that her friends cant open their eyes and their heart and grow up and look at the situation and realize that Shes in love with me, and that im treating her like a Princess and showing all the love i have left in my heart to Nik
I understand that you dont have to like me... I understand that you can hate me... but atleast get to know the real me... Not the person you heard about doing stupid shit when i was 18.. 19..20 years old....
Grow up and Move on..... Dont make our situation more difficult because you refuse to grow up
Nik... please past this on to all your friends and hope they can understand and listen for once