Hmm
For those of you who still read this.. Probably know that My last girlfriend was Ashley
We broke up due to her not being faithful like she promised after the first fuck up she did...
Shes still stuck on that i couldnt handle her Emotional problems... but -shrugs- Thats her story and frankly she can stick to it
She recently deleted her Birdiefly journal and started a new one.. In which ill keep from the public since i can be nice from time to time
But she showed me a Xanga Journal where she apparently posted in towards the end of our reltionship
And this was basically all it said
"Im talking with Adam.. It may start over again"
"Im talking and flirting with Jeremiah at work"
"I like Angel"
All while we were still going out... So what... You posted to give me this to show me that you were a ho?... Is that where this was going?
Well fuck... That was a given LOOOOOOONG ago sweetheart... I mean shit babe... You fucked around on me TWICE before 3 months of our relationship had passed... LMAO... Already the image i had
Why did i stay with you?
Cause for some odd reason... I DID LOVE YOU
You never could accept that.. You never could respect that.. And you never could handle that
You did everything in your power to get rid of me... Cheated on me.. Lie to me.. Hurt me.. Ignored me... Whatever... And it never got rid of me....Till when Ash?
WHEN i finally gave up trying to fight for you to be mine... IF you wanted to be mine Ash.. you would have from the beginning...
You walk around here with your little depressed story.. posting your little A.U.R emo bullshit on your journals looking for comfort and sympathy from your "friends"
But quite frankly... its all Bullshit... And i knew it from the start
You did it to get me to feel sorry for you and to show more love to you.. Only to kick me in the nuts and watch me fall before you in tears.... Your goal wasnt to "Spend your life with me" and you never ONCE gave me your heart
I was around because i was easy to talk to.. and i listened and gave you help and advice.. That you never used or wanted to even care to use
I loved Ashley Stokes... Not for her looks, though ive never seen her, but for her Personality, and her Heart... And i tried my fuckin hardest to stay with her for as long as possible
I gave up everything to be with her
I damn near gave up Rae, Kiki, Janel, Chris, Nikki, My life at home.. My drinking went down.. I was HOME to talk to her.. because i loved her..
What did she give me?....
Excuses.. Lies.. and Heartbreak
So this "Journal" was to show me things she couldnt tell me...
But things i already knew... Basically there were like 2 posts about me... Thats it.. the rest about Angel.. THAT I POINTED OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE
I tried everything i could to be with Ashley Stokes the person.. Thats who i fell in love with... I was there when she needed me to be.. and i was there when she didnt want me to be.. I was always trying to be the ear she came to to talk to.. I was always the one there when she wanted to open up.. and i was there to give her my heart
And where did she take my heart?
To the Garbage Disposal and watched it be chopped into pieces and disposed of
Ashley... You were great... Until i found out your true colors... And i feel sorry for anyone who tries to get close to you... Because i know... Everyone else knows.. and You know.. that when they do... you are just going to repeat the history.. over and over and over again... And as much as you try to change it... You never will be able too
You chose Angel and Jeremiah, and Adam over Me...
Jeremiah.. who turned out to be a "wanker"
Adam.. who if i remember correctly.. You never wanted to be with.. but i guess those were lies too huh?
And Angel... A guy who basically turned you down cause 2.5hrs away was too much for him.. -rolls eyes-
Atleast i was TRYING to make something of our relationship... I wanted a life with you
That house.. the fence.. the happiness.. you in my arms...
Instead... i got
A Needle, Then a Knife.. Then eventually the bullet
And i am glad that is over with
Youve repeatedly asked to be friends
And what would our friendship be like Ash?
The same as our Relationship?
Is it really worth being friends if thats how you are going to treat me?
Its not...
Im happy now
I love Nikki
Oh.. and BTW... I got over you 3 days after i asked you back out the last time... I dont dwell on that shit for long sweetheart... So nice try with that little post in your journal... I just chose to take a break and spend time with my REAL friends and get back the lost time that i stripped from them because i wanted only YOU
But.. Nice Effort
We broke up due to her not being faithful like she promised after the first fuck up she did...
Shes still stuck on that i couldnt handle her Emotional problems... but -shrugs- Thats her story and frankly she can stick to it
She recently deleted her Birdiefly journal and started a new one.. In which ill keep from the public since i can be nice from time to time
But she showed me a Xanga Journal where she apparently posted in towards the end of our reltionship
And this was basically all it said
"Im talking with Adam.. It may start over again"
"Im talking and flirting with Jeremiah at work"
"I like Angel"
All while we were still going out... So what... You posted to give me this to show me that you were a ho?... Is that where this was going?
Well fuck... That was a given LOOOOOOONG ago sweetheart... I mean shit babe... You fucked around on me TWICE before 3 months of our relationship had passed... LMAO... Already the image i had
Why did i stay with you?
Cause for some odd reason... I DID LOVE YOU
You never could accept that.. You never could respect that.. And you never could handle that
You did everything in your power to get rid of me... Cheated on me.. Lie to me.. Hurt me.. Ignored me... Whatever... And it never got rid of me....Till when Ash?
WHEN i finally gave up trying to fight for you to be mine... IF you wanted to be mine Ash.. you would have from the beginning...
You walk around here with your little depressed story.. posting your little A.U.R emo bullshit on your journals looking for comfort and sympathy from your "friends"
But quite frankly... its all Bullshit... And i knew it from the start
You did it to get me to feel sorry for you and to show more love to you.. Only to kick me in the nuts and watch me fall before you in tears.... Your goal wasnt to "Spend your life with me" and you never ONCE gave me your heart
I was around because i was easy to talk to.. and i listened and gave you help and advice.. That you never used or wanted to even care to use
I loved Ashley Stokes... Not for her looks, though ive never seen her, but for her Personality, and her Heart... And i tried my fuckin hardest to stay with her for as long as possible
I gave up everything to be with her
I damn near gave up Rae, Kiki, Janel, Chris, Nikki, My life at home.. My drinking went down.. I was HOME to talk to her.. because i loved her..
What did she give me?....
Excuses.. Lies.. and Heartbreak
So this "Journal" was to show me things she couldnt tell me...
But things i already knew... Basically there were like 2 posts about me... Thats it.. the rest about Angel.. THAT I POINTED OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE
I tried everything i could to be with Ashley Stokes the person.. Thats who i fell in love with... I was there when she needed me to be.. and i was there when she didnt want me to be.. I was always trying to be the ear she came to to talk to.. I was always the one there when she wanted to open up.. and i was there to give her my heart
And where did she take my heart?
To the Garbage Disposal and watched it be chopped into pieces and disposed of
Ashley... You were great... Until i found out your true colors... And i feel sorry for anyone who tries to get close to you... Because i know... Everyone else knows.. and You know.. that when they do... you are just going to repeat the history.. over and over and over again... And as much as you try to change it... You never will be able too
You chose Angel and Jeremiah, and Adam over Me...
Jeremiah.. who turned out to be a "wanker"
Adam.. who if i remember correctly.. You never wanted to be with.. but i guess those were lies too huh?
And Angel... A guy who basically turned you down cause 2.5hrs away was too much for him.. -rolls eyes-
Atleast i was TRYING to make something of our relationship... I wanted a life with you
That house.. the fence.. the happiness.. you in my arms...
Instead... i got
A Needle, Then a Knife.. Then eventually the bullet
And i am glad that is over with
Youve repeatedly asked to be friends
And what would our friendship be like Ash?
The same as our Relationship?
Is it really worth being friends if thats how you are going to treat me?
Its not...
Im happy now
I love Nikki
Oh.. and BTW... I got over you 3 days after i asked you back out the last time... I dont dwell on that shit for long sweetheart... So nice try with that little post in your journal... I just chose to take a break and spend time with my REAL friends and get back the lost time that i stripped from them because i wanted only YOU
But.. Nice Effort