TS bonding fic - late night silliness again - Blair & the Beast
Written very late at night, while chatting with KungFuNurse and Raphe1. As usual, not to be taken seriously.
Title: Blair and the Beast
Author: Arnie
Genre: AU, bonding fic, gen
Summary: Twisted fairy tale.
Rating: PG
Length: 3,125 words
Blair and the Beast
by Arnie
(comments from the peanut gallery by KungFuNurse and Nancy)
Once upon a time, there was a young man named Blair who lived with his mother and his two sisters, Cassie and Carolyn.
Cassie and Carolyn were sadly spoiled, for they could remember a time when Naomi, their mother, had been married to Charlie Springer and had lots of money and lots of servants. However, Charlie had foretold his own death and run away to avoid it, though the hideous screams that came from the forest minutes later gave them all the impression that he'd failed.
[KFN: that sounds just like him
Nancy: coward
KFN: to a "T"]
After that, Naomi had been sued for rearranging people's furniture without their permission, and then she'd spent the rest of her money on sage and incense, and now she and her three children had to work to earn money. Well, when I say she and her three children, I mean Blair.
Cassie and Carolyn could remember the time of pretty dresses and servants and chocolates piled high on silver trays, and they somehow, conveniently, forgot that that time had gone.
[KFN: Blair never had pretty dresses
Nancy: poor Blair
KFN: he needs a sentinel who will buy pretty dresses for him
Nancy: blue to match his eyes]
Blair on the other hand, being infinitely more responsible than his mother and infinitely less lazy than his sisters, did all the work
[KFN: what kind of work?
KFN: is he sewing, cleaning, selling is bod?
Arnie: gen fairy tale - no selling of bods involved
KFN: LOL
KFN: you know, even in gen tales people have sex
KFN: slash tales aren't the only perverted stories out there....
Arnie: yes, but no gold coins swapping hands for it
Arnie: at least not in my tales]
He took in washing to earn money to buy necessities, did all the gardening work so they had fresh veggies every day, did all the cooking so the veggies were cooked, as Cassie and Carolyn refused to eat raw veggie.
[KFN: there's nothing wrong with raw veggies
KFN: those girls might be a little spoiled]
And sat his mother down and begged her to please knock it off with buying all the incense and sage.
[Nancy: that was very sage advice
KFN: that's awful, Nan
Nancy: I just like to spice things up
Arnie: Kiff's right - that's bad]
They were all CLEAN, and as for the smell, that was Carolyn's lab and no amount of incense could hide that
Blair had no idea what she was doing down there and he didn't want to know - but the fact that men kept on going missing from the village had him nervous.
[KFN: I know I know
KFN: this is a gen fic
KFN: but I can't help thinking awful things
Nancy: how tall were the umm sage plants?]
One day, Naomi heard of a marvellous opportunity for her incense and sage necklaces. So she saddled up her horse and told her three children to be good, behave, and, Carolyn, to stop killing off the local menfolk because people were becoming suspicious.
[KFN: wow, she's a very liberal parent, isn't she?]
As she waved to them and rode off, Blair ran after her, calling to her to ride carefully, and, "Please mom, don't pick up any hitchhikers."
Cassie ran after her calling, "Bring me back lots of presents."
And Carolyn ran after her, yelling that it wasn't her fault, and Blair didn't make enough with the laundry for them to buy meat.
[KFN: oh, gross
Nancy: EOW
KFN: Sweeney todd, here we come]
Blair stopped. "That's it, I'm vegetarian."
Naomi rode on, her mind filled with her wonderful business opportunity. She hoped it would work out. Her three children deserved the best.
[KFN: aww, she's sweet if really really disconnected from reality]
As she rode, her mind wove wonderful daydreams in which she sent Carolyn off to San Francisco to become a forensic scientiest (which would, Naomi hoped, stop her burying dead bodies in the vegetable patch).
[Nancy: makes them GROW
KFN: they must be making a killing on their maters]
Cassie, well, poor dear Cassie, she could go to the police academy, though she'd have to promise to never dig up the veggie patch or arrest her sister.
At least, not while Naomi was alive.
As for Blair, her son, well, he'd be happy at home doing Naomi's laundry, she was sure.
[KFN: I'd actually bet on Carolyn over Cassie in any fight
Arnie: especially with a shovel and veggie patch
KFN: no doubt
KFN: poor Blair
KFN: sentinel, take him away!]
It was late when Naomi reached the faraway town, and she went straight to an inn and haggled with the innkeeper to let her stay for two of Naomi's wonderful necklaces. He agreed, but begged her to please leave the furniture in place this time, as it had taken his wife three days to sort it all out and she was still miffed.
Naomi agreed, but only after making him stuff some sage into his pockets to help him. He took the sage and used it to season all the meals for the next fortnight.
[KFN: Jim won't be able to BREATHE anywhere within a mile of Naomi]
The next day, Naomi made an absolute killing at the market (and not the Carolyn kind either).
Delighted, she spent her money on some new flowing kaftans for herself, paid for a forensic science course in San Francisco for Carolyn, bought a police uniform for Cassie, then realised she didn't have any money left to buy anything for Blair.
[KFN: she can buy him a sentinel!
KFN: to help in the garden!
KFN: or she can rent Blair out to a sentinel
KFN: since she doesn't have any money
Nancy: RENT?
KFN: sell
Nancy: but who will do the laundry
KFN: lease with an option to buy?]
A little annoyed at the world for being so awkward as to make her run out of money before buying Blair anything, Naomi found the innkeeper's lost cat and put him into her saddlebag to take back to Blair. Within two minutes, the kitty had fought its way out of the saddlebag, climbed Naomi, hissed in her face, then run off back to the inn.
Naomi was most unimpressed.
Leaving the kitty to spend its life in a very dull town, she carried on her way, but soon realised she was lost. She must, she decided, have taken a wrong turn while fighting off the Demon Cat.
Looking around, Naomi realised it was getting dark, and there was no friendly home with Blair doing laundry in sight.
[KFN: wait, I know this faery tale!
Nancy: Beauty and the Beast?
KFN: my fav of all times]
Fortunately, she soon spotted a light from not very far away, and she followed it through the trees until she came to a pair of tall metal gates. Dismounting, she pushed one gate open and led her horse in, then quickly shut the gate behind her. Far better to sleep in someone's garden than to sleep in the woods where the wolves roamed.
[KFN: Jim's not going to be happy about all the sage she's got on her
KFN: AND she's likely going to move his sofa]
As she walked up the wide path, Naomi looked around. The garden was badly overgrown and looked as though it hadn't seen a pair of pruning shears in a long time.
Perhaps Blair could earn some money as a gardener.
[KFN: or a boytoy?
Arnie: wrong type of fic, Kiff
KFN: well, hope springs eternal
Nancy: damn]
The path twisted and turned, and it wasn't until she'd passed a large copse of trees that Naomi was able to see the dark hulking mass of the building ahead.
For some reason, it looked ominous, but Naomi reminded herself that she had lots of sage, to say nothing of very nice kaftans, and she was sure the owner would be more than happy to let her stay the night. She reached the front door and raised the ornate brass doorknocker and let it thud back into place.
Nothing happened, so it she did it again, and then was just raising it for a third time, when the door flew open.
"Not interested!" a tall dark figure growled at her.
The door slammed shut.
[KFN: you can have your life back if you give me your non-lazy non-homicidal child
Nancy: RUN
KFN: LOL]
Naomi frowned. That was really not polite of whoever lived here. So she grabbed the doorknocker and tried again.
This time, when the door opened, she stuck her foot in the way. "I -"
"Not interested!" Large hands grabbed her around the waist, lifted her and deposited her on her feet a few inches back.
The door shut again.
Getting quite annoyed, Naomi banged like hell on the door.
"Look, lady -"
[KFN: NOW you have to hand over your guidely child]
"Listen, mister," she poked the guy in the chest, "I've been wandering through that jungle you call a garden for an hour, and I'm tired and hungry! Now let me in or I'll rearrange your furniture."
[KFN: wait, if he doesn't let her in, can she still rearrange the sofa?
Nancy: has he noticed the sage yet?]
The man took a breath, then sneezed. And sneezed again.
Naomi let go of her horse's reins and walked into the hall. "I'll take that as an invitation." As the man sneezed behind her, his hands flailing in the air, Naomi looked around. "No wonder you're sneezing; do you ever clean? Look at the dust in here!"
[KFN: she's really starting to bug me
KFN: does she die yet?
Arnie: no
KFN: *sigh*]
Rolling up her sleeves, Naomi turned. "Okay, I'll clean, but in return I get to spend the night on the couch. I'm lost, tired and hungry."
The guy blinked at her through streaming eyes.
"First things first." Naomi pulled out some sage. "I'll burn this to clean the atmosphere."
Two seconds later, the guy hit the floor.
[KFN: nooooooo!!!!!!
KFN: you killed Jim!]
Blowing out the sage, Naomi tiptoed over to the man. "Hello? Hello?"
Naomi felt quite annoyed. She was getting as bad as Carolyn.
Leaving Jim where he was, Naomi slipped out of the front door, got back on her horse, and headed off into the woods.
[Nancy: where is Blair???
KFN: apparently still doing laundry
KFN: she just left him for dead?]
Far better to spend the night annoying wolves than getting caught with a corpse.
[KFN: wow, detach with love
Nancy: heh
Nancy: well her daughter is burying them out back
Nancy: not like she has any morals
KFN: and Naomi is eating them...]
Fortunately for all concerned, she found her way home, and was soon telling Blair all about the annoyed man she'd accidentally killed
"Mom, you left him on the floor?!"
"Sweetie, he was huge. I couldn't move him!"
[Nancy: true
KFN: big hunka burning
KFN: sorry
Nancy: how does SHE know he was HUUUUUUGE
KFN: nevermind
Nancy: did she look???]
She shrugged helplessly, then followed him about the kitchen as he gathered some stuff together. "What are you doing?"
Blair sighed, and turned to look at her. "I'll go find the place, see if he's okay."
"Well, if you want to, sweetie. But he looked dead to me."
[Nancy: Naomi is not nice
KFN: she's nice, but she's not kind
Arnie: she's kinda evil in this
KFN: yup, picked right up on that
Nancy: yeah]
~'~
Leaving Naomi to give Carolyn and Cassie their presents, Blair headed out the door and grabbed the horse's reins. "Sorry about this," he told the horse, "but we've gotta go."
The horse seemed to give him a sympathetic look, then flicked its ears as Cassie and Carolyn started screeching at each other.
Blair hurriedly leapt iinto the saddle. At least he wouldn't have to listen to those two - and Carolyn was really freaking him out lately.
He rode off, and managed to find his way to the house by more good luck than anything else.
Typically, Naomi had left the door open, but it meant that Blair could see the tall figure which was lying in the hallway. "Oh man!" Scrambling down, he raced to the figure's side. "Please tell me you're not dead!" he muttered, leaning down to listen to the man's heart.
It was still beating.
"Okay...you're not dead." Sitting back on his heels, Blair lit a candle and quickly examined his unconscious host.
"No head injury...no injury of any kind. Okay, man, I'm lost; why are you unconscious?"
[KFN: can one still be considered a host if one is unconcious when the guests arrive?
Arnie: I think so - Jim's very hospitable
Arnie: not killing him this time, Nancy. For once
KFN: yes, that door slamming thing really sealed the deal on it
Arnie: okay...he's very hospitable to Blair
KFN: yes, to Blair]
Blair gazed around. Then sat up straight as he remembered what his mom had said. "Was it the sage?" he asked, though the guy really couldn't answer. "Oh, my God! Are you a Sentinel?"
[KFN: Blair is smrt]
Hurriedly calming himself, Blair took a few breaths, then leaned over the figure again. "Okay, if you're a Sentinel, just listen to my voice and follow it back. The sage is gone, and the door was wide open - which is so not a good idea, though I guess burglars would have a hard time finding you..."
Blair frowned. Where had he been up to? Oh yeah...
"So just relax, and come back. You're safe. Crazy lady with sage is gone. Though that's my mom and you shouldn't be thinking anything bad about her, you know?"
The figure groaned.
"Oh, hey! You feeling better?"
[KFN: Blair, stop merging with your mother, get your own life and realize she's a bad bad person!]
Blue eyes opened and gazed at him, blinking a little in the candlelight.
"Hey." Blair smiled, reassuringly he thought.
The man frowned. "Weren't you a redheaded female?"
[KFN: not lately]
"Uh no. That's my mom. She's gone."
"But she invited her family in before she left?" The guy sat up, rubbing the back of his neck.
[KFN: she sort of left you for dead
KFN: sorry bout that
KFN: no hard feelings?]
"Uh well -" Blair leaned back slightly as the guy invaded his personal space sniffing at him. "Okay, what's with the sniffing?"
The man sniffed harder, angling his head to zero in on Blair's neck.
"Whoa, man! I don't even know your name!"
"Jim," the man muttered, grabbing Blair's arms and holding him still while his nose danced the fandango up and down Blair's neck.
"Okay, Jim, you're kind of freaking me out here!"
[KFN: that's a talented set of nostrils there
Nancy: SAGE HIM
Arnie: Naomi's got the sage and she's gone]
Blair shoved, but the man pushed back, and before Blair was quite sure of what was going on, he was flat on his back, the man leaning over him.
"I can tell you're quite pissed with my mom - what with her almost killing you and everything - but that's no reason -"
"To bond with my Guide?" Jim asked.
[KFN: oh, how cute, he still doesn't get it
Nancy: uh huh]
Blair gaped at him, then shrieked as the Sentinel lunged down and bit him in the neck. "What the -"
Crazed thoughts of vampires scattered as the Guide felt his mental barriers explode, then the Sentinel's mind was pressing into his, pouring along the empathic pathways and cocooning Blair's mind in powerful shields.
Blair sighed, and relaxed. "What a head rush," he muttered.
Jim smirked at him. "Um hm." Then he frowned. "Wait, the crazy lady's your mom?"
[KFN: well, you can't chose your in-laws
KFN: oh wait, you can]
"Yeah." Blair gazed up at the ceiling, somehow unable to feel bothered about how Naomi would cope without him.
Jim hauled him to his feet, and wrapped an arm around him as he shoved the door shut and locked it. "Chief, you ever considered moving far far away from here? There's a cute little town I know called Cascade."
Blair tried to focus. "Cascade? Sounds like a waterfall."
"Waterfalls, mountains. Really nice place."
As Blair faded out, he was aware of his Sentinel talking about police departments, lofts and universities, but he let it go and sank into the darkness, feeling very, very safe, and pretty sure he'd have a good time in this cute little town called Cascade.
The End
8th September 2008.
Title: Blair and the Beast
Author: Arnie
Genre: AU, bonding fic, gen
Summary: Twisted fairy tale.
Rating: PG
Length: 3,125 words
Blair and the Beast
by Arnie
(comments from the peanut gallery by KungFuNurse and Nancy)
Once upon a time, there was a young man named Blair who lived with his mother and his two sisters, Cassie and Carolyn.
Cassie and Carolyn were sadly spoiled, for they could remember a time when Naomi, their mother, had been married to Charlie Springer and had lots of money and lots of servants. However, Charlie had foretold his own death and run away to avoid it, though the hideous screams that came from the forest minutes later gave them all the impression that he'd failed.
[KFN: that sounds just like him
Nancy: coward
KFN: to a "T"]
After that, Naomi had been sued for rearranging people's furniture without their permission, and then she'd spent the rest of her money on sage and incense, and now she and her three children had to work to earn money. Well, when I say she and her three children, I mean Blair.
Cassie and Carolyn could remember the time of pretty dresses and servants and chocolates piled high on silver trays, and they somehow, conveniently, forgot that that time had gone.
[KFN: Blair never had pretty dresses
Nancy: poor Blair
KFN: he needs a sentinel who will buy pretty dresses for him
Nancy: blue to match his eyes]
Blair on the other hand, being infinitely more responsible than his mother and infinitely less lazy than his sisters, did all the work
[KFN: what kind of work?
KFN: is he sewing, cleaning, selling is bod?
Arnie: gen fairy tale - no selling of bods involved
KFN: LOL
KFN: you know, even in gen tales people have sex
KFN: slash tales aren't the only perverted stories out there....
Arnie: yes, but no gold coins swapping hands for it
Arnie: at least not in my tales]
He took in washing to earn money to buy necessities, did all the gardening work so they had fresh veggies every day, did all the cooking so the veggies were cooked, as Cassie and Carolyn refused to eat raw veggie.
[KFN: there's nothing wrong with raw veggies
KFN: those girls might be a little spoiled]
And sat his mother down and begged her to please knock it off with buying all the incense and sage.
[Nancy: that was very sage advice
KFN: that's awful, Nan
Nancy: I just like to spice things up
Arnie: Kiff's right - that's bad]
They were all CLEAN, and as for the smell, that was Carolyn's lab and no amount of incense could hide that
Blair had no idea what she was doing down there and he didn't want to know - but the fact that men kept on going missing from the village had him nervous.
[KFN: I know I know
KFN: this is a gen fic
KFN: but I can't help thinking awful things
Nancy: how tall were the umm sage plants?]
One day, Naomi heard of a marvellous opportunity for her incense and sage necklaces. So she saddled up her horse and told her three children to be good, behave, and, Carolyn, to stop killing off the local menfolk because people were becoming suspicious.
[KFN: wow, she's a very liberal parent, isn't she?]
As she waved to them and rode off, Blair ran after her, calling to her to ride carefully, and, "Please mom, don't pick up any hitchhikers."
Cassie ran after her calling, "Bring me back lots of presents."
And Carolyn ran after her, yelling that it wasn't her fault, and Blair didn't make enough with the laundry for them to buy meat.
[KFN: oh, gross
Nancy: EOW
KFN: Sweeney todd, here we come]
Blair stopped. "That's it, I'm vegetarian."
Naomi rode on, her mind filled with her wonderful business opportunity. She hoped it would work out. Her three children deserved the best.
[KFN: aww, she's sweet if really really disconnected from reality]
As she rode, her mind wove wonderful daydreams in which she sent Carolyn off to San Francisco to become a forensic scientiest (which would, Naomi hoped, stop her burying dead bodies in the vegetable patch).
[Nancy: makes them GROW
KFN: they must be making a killing on their maters]
Cassie, well, poor dear Cassie, she could go to the police academy, though she'd have to promise to never dig up the veggie patch or arrest her sister.
At least, not while Naomi was alive.
As for Blair, her son, well, he'd be happy at home doing Naomi's laundry, she was sure.
[KFN: I'd actually bet on Carolyn over Cassie in any fight
Arnie: especially with a shovel and veggie patch
KFN: no doubt
KFN: poor Blair
KFN: sentinel, take him away!]
It was late when Naomi reached the faraway town, and she went straight to an inn and haggled with the innkeeper to let her stay for two of Naomi's wonderful necklaces. He agreed, but begged her to please leave the furniture in place this time, as it had taken his wife three days to sort it all out and she was still miffed.
Naomi agreed, but only after making him stuff some sage into his pockets to help him. He took the sage and used it to season all the meals for the next fortnight.
[KFN: Jim won't be able to BREATHE anywhere within a mile of Naomi]
The next day, Naomi made an absolute killing at the market (and not the Carolyn kind either).
Delighted, she spent her money on some new flowing kaftans for herself, paid for a forensic science course in San Francisco for Carolyn, bought a police uniform for Cassie, then realised she didn't have any money left to buy anything for Blair.
[KFN: she can buy him a sentinel!
KFN: to help in the garden!
KFN: or she can rent Blair out to a sentinel
KFN: since she doesn't have any money
Nancy: RENT?
KFN: sell
Nancy: but who will do the laundry
KFN: lease with an option to buy?]
A little annoyed at the world for being so awkward as to make her run out of money before buying Blair anything, Naomi found the innkeeper's lost cat and put him into her saddlebag to take back to Blair. Within two minutes, the kitty had fought its way out of the saddlebag, climbed Naomi, hissed in her face, then run off back to the inn.
Naomi was most unimpressed.
Leaving the kitty to spend its life in a very dull town, she carried on her way, but soon realised she was lost. She must, she decided, have taken a wrong turn while fighting off the Demon Cat.
Looking around, Naomi realised it was getting dark, and there was no friendly home with Blair doing laundry in sight.
[KFN: wait, I know this faery tale!
Nancy: Beauty and the Beast?
KFN: my fav of all times]
Fortunately, she soon spotted a light from not very far away, and she followed it through the trees until she came to a pair of tall metal gates. Dismounting, she pushed one gate open and led her horse in, then quickly shut the gate behind her. Far better to sleep in someone's garden than to sleep in the woods where the wolves roamed.
[KFN: Jim's not going to be happy about all the sage she's got on her
KFN: AND she's likely going to move his sofa]
As she walked up the wide path, Naomi looked around. The garden was badly overgrown and looked as though it hadn't seen a pair of pruning shears in a long time.
Perhaps Blair could earn some money as a gardener.
[KFN: or a boytoy?
Arnie: wrong type of fic, Kiff
KFN: well, hope springs eternal
Nancy: damn]
The path twisted and turned, and it wasn't until she'd passed a large copse of trees that Naomi was able to see the dark hulking mass of the building ahead.
For some reason, it looked ominous, but Naomi reminded herself that she had lots of sage, to say nothing of very nice kaftans, and she was sure the owner would be more than happy to let her stay the night. She reached the front door and raised the ornate brass doorknocker and let it thud back into place.
Nothing happened, so it she did it again, and then was just raising it for a third time, when the door flew open.
"Not interested!" a tall dark figure growled at her.
The door slammed shut.
[KFN: you can have your life back if you give me your non-lazy non-homicidal child
Nancy: RUN
KFN: LOL]
Naomi frowned. That was really not polite of whoever lived here. So she grabbed the doorknocker and tried again.
This time, when the door opened, she stuck her foot in the way. "I -"
"Not interested!" Large hands grabbed her around the waist, lifted her and deposited her on her feet a few inches back.
The door shut again.
Getting quite annoyed, Naomi banged like hell on the door.
"Look, lady -"
[KFN: NOW you have to hand over your guidely child]
"Listen, mister," she poked the guy in the chest, "I've been wandering through that jungle you call a garden for an hour, and I'm tired and hungry! Now let me in or I'll rearrange your furniture."
[KFN: wait, if he doesn't let her in, can she still rearrange the sofa?
Nancy: has he noticed the sage yet?]
The man took a breath, then sneezed. And sneezed again.
Naomi let go of her horse's reins and walked into the hall. "I'll take that as an invitation." As the man sneezed behind her, his hands flailing in the air, Naomi looked around. "No wonder you're sneezing; do you ever clean? Look at the dust in here!"
[KFN: she's really starting to bug me
KFN: does she die yet?
Arnie: no
KFN: *sigh*]
Rolling up her sleeves, Naomi turned. "Okay, I'll clean, but in return I get to spend the night on the couch. I'm lost, tired and hungry."
The guy blinked at her through streaming eyes.
"First things first." Naomi pulled out some sage. "I'll burn this to clean the atmosphere."
Two seconds later, the guy hit the floor.
[KFN: nooooooo!!!!!!
KFN: you killed Jim!]
Blowing out the sage, Naomi tiptoed over to the man. "Hello? Hello?"
Naomi felt quite annoyed. She was getting as bad as Carolyn.
Leaving Jim where he was, Naomi slipped out of the front door, got back on her horse, and headed off into the woods.
[Nancy: where is Blair???
KFN: apparently still doing laundry
KFN: she just left him for dead?]
Far better to spend the night annoying wolves than getting caught with a corpse.
[KFN: wow, detach with love
Nancy: heh
Nancy: well her daughter is burying them out back
Nancy: not like she has any morals
KFN: and Naomi is eating them...]
Fortunately for all concerned, she found her way home, and was soon telling Blair all about the annoyed man she'd accidentally killed
"Mom, you left him on the floor?!"
"Sweetie, he was huge. I couldn't move him!"
[Nancy: true
KFN: big hunka burning
KFN: sorry
Nancy: how does SHE know he was HUUUUUUGE
KFN: nevermind
Nancy: did she look???]
She shrugged helplessly, then followed him about the kitchen as he gathered some stuff together. "What are you doing?"
Blair sighed, and turned to look at her. "I'll go find the place, see if he's okay."
"Well, if you want to, sweetie. But he looked dead to me."
[Nancy: Naomi is not nice
KFN: she's nice, but she's not kind
Arnie: she's kinda evil in this
KFN: yup, picked right up on that
Nancy: yeah]
~'~
Leaving Naomi to give Carolyn and Cassie their presents, Blair headed out the door and grabbed the horse's reins. "Sorry about this," he told the horse, "but we've gotta go."
The horse seemed to give him a sympathetic look, then flicked its ears as Cassie and Carolyn started screeching at each other.
Blair hurriedly leapt iinto the saddle. At least he wouldn't have to listen to those two - and Carolyn was really freaking him out lately.
He rode off, and managed to find his way to the house by more good luck than anything else.
Typically, Naomi had left the door open, but it meant that Blair could see the tall figure which was lying in the hallway. "Oh man!" Scrambling down, he raced to the figure's side. "Please tell me you're not dead!" he muttered, leaning down to listen to the man's heart.
It was still beating.
"Okay...you're not dead." Sitting back on his heels, Blair lit a candle and quickly examined his unconscious host.
"No head injury...no injury of any kind. Okay, man, I'm lost; why are you unconscious?"
[KFN: can one still be considered a host if one is unconcious when the guests arrive?
Arnie: I think so - Jim's very hospitable
Arnie: not killing him this time, Nancy. For once
KFN: yes, that door slamming thing really sealed the deal on it
Arnie: okay...he's very hospitable to Blair
KFN: yes, to Blair]
Blair gazed around. Then sat up straight as he remembered what his mom had said. "Was it the sage?" he asked, though the guy really couldn't answer. "Oh, my God! Are you a Sentinel?"
[KFN: Blair is smrt]
Hurriedly calming himself, Blair took a few breaths, then leaned over the figure again. "Okay, if you're a Sentinel, just listen to my voice and follow it back. The sage is gone, and the door was wide open - which is so not a good idea, though I guess burglars would have a hard time finding you..."
Blair frowned. Where had he been up to? Oh yeah...
"So just relax, and come back. You're safe. Crazy lady with sage is gone. Though that's my mom and you shouldn't be thinking anything bad about her, you know?"
The figure groaned.
"Oh, hey! You feeling better?"
[KFN: Blair, stop merging with your mother, get your own life and realize she's a bad bad person!]
Blue eyes opened and gazed at him, blinking a little in the candlelight.
"Hey." Blair smiled, reassuringly he thought.
The man frowned. "Weren't you a redheaded female?"
[KFN: not lately]
"Uh no. That's my mom. She's gone."
"But she invited her family in before she left?" The guy sat up, rubbing the back of his neck.
[KFN: she sort of left you for dead
KFN: sorry bout that
KFN: no hard feelings?]
"Uh well -" Blair leaned back slightly as the guy invaded his personal space sniffing at him. "Okay, what's with the sniffing?"
The man sniffed harder, angling his head to zero in on Blair's neck.
"Whoa, man! I don't even know your name!"
"Jim," the man muttered, grabbing Blair's arms and holding him still while his nose danced the fandango up and down Blair's neck.
"Okay, Jim, you're kind of freaking me out here!"
[KFN: that's a talented set of nostrils there
Nancy: SAGE HIM
Arnie: Naomi's got the sage and she's gone]
Blair shoved, but the man pushed back, and before Blair was quite sure of what was going on, he was flat on his back, the man leaning over him.
"I can tell you're quite pissed with my mom - what with her almost killing you and everything - but that's no reason -"
"To bond with my Guide?" Jim asked.
[KFN: oh, how cute, he still doesn't get it
Nancy: uh huh]
Blair gaped at him, then shrieked as the Sentinel lunged down and bit him in the neck. "What the -"
Crazed thoughts of vampires scattered as the Guide felt his mental barriers explode, then the Sentinel's mind was pressing into his, pouring along the empathic pathways and cocooning Blair's mind in powerful shields.
Blair sighed, and relaxed. "What a head rush," he muttered.
Jim smirked at him. "Um hm." Then he frowned. "Wait, the crazy lady's your mom?"
[KFN: well, you can't chose your in-laws
KFN: oh wait, you can]
"Yeah." Blair gazed up at the ceiling, somehow unable to feel bothered about how Naomi would cope without him.
Jim hauled him to his feet, and wrapped an arm around him as he shoved the door shut and locked it. "Chief, you ever considered moving far far away from here? There's a cute little town I know called Cascade."
Blair tried to focus. "Cascade? Sounds like a waterfall."
"Waterfalls, mountains. Really nice place."
As Blair faded out, he was aware of his Sentinel talking about police departments, lofts and universities, but he let it go and sank into the darkness, feeling very, very safe, and pretty sure he'd have a good time in this cute little town called Cascade.
The End
8th September 2008.