Spider-Man fic - Parental Figure (gen)
I've fallen down the rabbit hole of Spider-Man & Iron Man fic. It's fabulous.
Title: Parental Figure
Author: Dimity Blue
Rating: All
Genre: Gen, humour
Characters: Peter, Tony, Aunt May
Word Count: 1,147 words
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Peter's Saturday afternoon patrol turned out to be more eventful than he could have expected. Not plane crash levels of eventful, but still...
On AO3.
Parental Figure
by Dimity Blue
Peter's Saturday afternoon patrol turned out to be more eventful than he could have expected. Not plane crash levels of eventful, but still...
Peter had had a quiet patrol involving nothing more serious than finding a lost dog. He'd sat around for a bit, played a few guessing games with Karen, and finally decided to head back to the tower and finish his homework before having a late dinner with Mr. Stark. Peter was kind of excited over that. Mr. Stark had been away for a couple of weeks - on SI business he said, though Peter's imagination had him blasting super-villains in Timbuktu - and Peter had missed him a lot. Not that he was going to say so; he knew to play it cool. Mr. Stark probably still thought of him as a nerdy kid in a onesie, anyway.
So, there he was, casually swinging his way to the tower, when he saw a light flicker in the window of a nearby store. Only it wasn't a store: It was a bank, it was closed, and there was someone inside with a torch.
Peter swung over and clung to the wall by the window. Bank robbers! His day was looking up. Cautiously, he followed them into the back of the bank, and took a closer look at them. They weren't just bank robbers but bank robbers with weapons! He couldn't wait to tell Ned.
Karen started talking to him, saying bank robbers with weapons wasn't a good thing and maybe he ought to step back, call the police, and let them deal with the armed robbers. Peter turned the AI off. There were only two of these guys to deal with, and they only had ordinary weapons instead of Chitauri tech. Easy-peasy.
Unfortunately for Peter, it nearly turned into Spider-squeezy. As he began to ask the robbers if a life of crime was really worth it, one of them spotted him. There was a shout of, "It's Spider-Man!" (which was flattering), then the guy tried to shoot him (which was not).
Peter dodged and webbed the guy, then all hell broke loose. There was a huge bang which set his ears ringing, and he was flung across the room. As he scrambled up, he collided face first with the knee of the other robber who was running for the door. The web he threw hit the light fitting and yanked it out of the ceiling. There was another bang from the electrics, an alarm went off, and the sprinkler system turned on.
Peter staggered outside. It was quiet out there. The second bank robber was giving him panicked looks and yanking at the door of his getaway vehicle. Peter sighed and casually webbed him to the door, then went around the corner to pull up his mask and spit out the blood that he was pretty sure was from when he'd bitten his tongue.
Of course, that was the moment Iron Man turned up.
=====
Peter was trying to defend himself but Mr. Stark seemed to be on a roll, and he wouldn't stop ranting as he paced across the tower's living room.
"You constantly put yourself in danger! You seem to think your abilities can save you from everything! When I found you you were spitting up blood, for God's sake! What happened to helping little old ladies across the road and getting cats out of trees?"
"I have to stop any crime that I see -"
"You should have called the police instead of trying to stop an armed robbery yourself! Instead, you turned off your AI and went sailing in without a thought!"
"There were only two of them!"
"Two of them with weapons - to say nothing of the explosives they used to open the safe! You could have been badly injured! When are you going to learn some self-preservation?"
"You're one to talk!" Peter snapped back.
Mr. Stark turned on the spot to glare at him. "Excuse me?"
"Everyone knows about Iron Man sacrificing himself during the attack on New York! You pushed a nuclear missile through a wormhole! Where was your self-preservation then?"
"It would have killed millions, Peter, and there was no one else who could have redirected that missile. It was me or everyone else. And that doesn't apply to this! I am an adult; I can choose to risk my life. You are a child. You didn't call for back up or even the police, you turned off your AI, and you almost got yourself killed! You are grounded, mister!"
Peter stared at Mr. Stark. Mr. Stark who was his mentor, sure. Mr. Stark who was his idol, though Peter would never say that one out loud. But: "You - you don't have the right to ground me!"
Mr. Stark stalked towards him.
Peter hurriedly backed away and fell into the armchair behind him, then shrank back into the cushions as Mr. Stark put his hands on the arms of the chair and leaned down.
"I can ground you so hard your children will feel grounded! Now go to your room!"
Mr. Stark straightened and stepped back, and Peter managed to find his voice again. "But I -"
"Go. To. Your. Room!"
"But I don't live here - I don't have a room."
For a moment, there was silence, then Mr. Stark pulled him up out of the chair and marched him to the guest room Peter had slept in a number of times already. "This is your room; we'll get it decorated any way you like. I'll call you when dinner's ready." With that, the door shut and Mr. Stark was gone.
Peter stared at the back of the door, then asked, "FRIDAY, what do I do now?"
FRIDAY replied, "I believe the appropriate response is to reflect on your sins."
"What?"
"You have been sent to your room by a parental figure. I believe you are expected to think about your recent actions and realise what you did wrong."
Peter felt his face turn red. "Mr. Stark's not my da - I'm not... Parental figure!?" Peter blushed even more at how high his voice had gone. "That's ridiculous, FRIDAY!" How had FRIDAY got the idea Peter thought of Mr. Stark as his dad? Was the AI a mind reader now?
Peter gave a startled yelp as his phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and stared at the screen in dismay.
"Hi, Aunt May -"
He'd barely got the words out before his aunt verbally exploded on the other end of the line. From the "spitting up blood", "what were you thinking", and "grounded for eternity, you hear me", Peter suspected Mr. Stark had told her what had happened.
"It wasn't my fault, Aunt May! There were these bank robbers and I had to stop them somehow, and... are you listening to me?"
"I'm coming over!"
"Oh, don't come over! Please don't come over!" Aunt May and Mr. Stark telling him off together? Peter didn't think even his healing factor could cope with that.
The end
2nd February 2023
I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading!
Title: Parental Figure
Author: Dimity Blue
Rating: All
Genre: Gen, humour
Characters: Peter, Tony, Aunt May
Word Count: 1,147 words
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Peter's Saturday afternoon patrol turned out to be more eventful than he could have expected. Not plane crash levels of eventful, but still...
On AO3.
Parental Figure
by Dimity Blue
Peter's Saturday afternoon patrol turned out to be more eventful than he could have expected. Not plane crash levels of eventful, but still...
Peter had had a quiet patrol involving nothing more serious than finding a lost dog. He'd sat around for a bit, played a few guessing games with Karen, and finally decided to head back to the tower and finish his homework before having a late dinner with Mr. Stark. Peter was kind of excited over that. Mr. Stark had been away for a couple of weeks - on SI business he said, though Peter's imagination had him blasting super-villains in Timbuktu - and Peter had missed him a lot. Not that he was going to say so; he knew to play it cool. Mr. Stark probably still thought of him as a nerdy kid in a onesie, anyway.
So, there he was, casually swinging his way to the tower, when he saw a light flicker in the window of a nearby store. Only it wasn't a store: It was a bank, it was closed, and there was someone inside with a torch.
Peter swung over and clung to the wall by the window. Bank robbers! His day was looking up. Cautiously, he followed them into the back of the bank, and took a closer look at them. They weren't just bank robbers but bank robbers with weapons! He couldn't wait to tell Ned.
Karen started talking to him, saying bank robbers with weapons wasn't a good thing and maybe he ought to step back, call the police, and let them deal with the armed robbers. Peter turned the AI off. There were only two of these guys to deal with, and they only had ordinary weapons instead of Chitauri tech. Easy-peasy.
Unfortunately for Peter, it nearly turned into Spider-squeezy. As he began to ask the robbers if a life of crime was really worth it, one of them spotted him. There was a shout of, "It's Spider-Man!" (which was flattering), then the guy tried to shoot him (which was not).
Peter dodged and webbed the guy, then all hell broke loose. There was a huge bang which set his ears ringing, and he was flung across the room. As he scrambled up, he collided face first with the knee of the other robber who was running for the door. The web he threw hit the light fitting and yanked it out of the ceiling. There was another bang from the electrics, an alarm went off, and the sprinkler system turned on.
Peter staggered outside. It was quiet out there. The second bank robber was giving him panicked looks and yanking at the door of his getaway vehicle. Peter sighed and casually webbed him to the door, then went around the corner to pull up his mask and spit out the blood that he was pretty sure was from when he'd bitten his tongue.
Of course, that was the moment Iron Man turned up.
=====
Peter was trying to defend himself but Mr. Stark seemed to be on a roll, and he wouldn't stop ranting as he paced across the tower's living room.
"You constantly put yourself in danger! You seem to think your abilities can save you from everything! When I found you you were spitting up blood, for God's sake! What happened to helping little old ladies across the road and getting cats out of trees?"
"I have to stop any crime that I see -"
"You should have called the police instead of trying to stop an armed robbery yourself! Instead, you turned off your AI and went sailing in without a thought!"
"There were only two of them!"
"Two of them with weapons - to say nothing of the explosives they used to open the safe! You could have been badly injured! When are you going to learn some self-preservation?"
"You're one to talk!" Peter snapped back.
Mr. Stark turned on the spot to glare at him. "Excuse me?"
"Everyone knows about Iron Man sacrificing himself during the attack on New York! You pushed a nuclear missile through a wormhole! Where was your self-preservation then?"
"It would have killed millions, Peter, and there was no one else who could have redirected that missile. It was me or everyone else. And that doesn't apply to this! I am an adult; I can choose to risk my life. You are a child. You didn't call for back up or even the police, you turned off your AI, and you almost got yourself killed! You are grounded, mister!"
Peter stared at Mr. Stark. Mr. Stark who was his mentor, sure. Mr. Stark who was his idol, though Peter would never say that one out loud. But: "You - you don't have the right to ground me!"
Mr. Stark stalked towards him.
Peter hurriedly backed away and fell into the armchair behind him, then shrank back into the cushions as Mr. Stark put his hands on the arms of the chair and leaned down.
"I can ground you so hard your children will feel grounded! Now go to your room!"
Mr. Stark straightened and stepped back, and Peter managed to find his voice again. "But I -"
"Go. To. Your. Room!"
"But I don't live here - I don't have a room."
For a moment, there was silence, then Mr. Stark pulled him up out of the chair and marched him to the guest room Peter had slept in a number of times already. "This is your room; we'll get it decorated any way you like. I'll call you when dinner's ready." With that, the door shut and Mr. Stark was gone.
Peter stared at the back of the door, then asked, "FRIDAY, what do I do now?"
FRIDAY replied, "I believe the appropriate response is to reflect on your sins."
"What?"
"You have been sent to your room by a parental figure. I believe you are expected to think about your recent actions and realise what you did wrong."
Peter felt his face turn red. "Mr. Stark's not my da - I'm not... Parental figure!?" Peter blushed even more at how high his voice had gone. "That's ridiculous, FRIDAY!" How had FRIDAY got the idea Peter thought of Mr. Stark as his dad? Was the AI a mind reader now?
Peter gave a startled yelp as his phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and stared at the screen in dismay.
"Hi, Aunt May -"
He'd barely got the words out before his aunt verbally exploded on the other end of the line. From the "spitting up blood", "what were you thinking", and "grounded for eternity, you hear me", Peter suspected Mr. Stark had told her what had happened.
"It wasn't my fault, Aunt May! There were these bank robbers and I had to stop them somehow, and... are you listening to me?"
"I'm coming over!"
"Oh, don't come over! Please don't come over!" Aunt May and Mr. Stark telling him off together? Peter didn't think even his healing factor could cope with that.
The end
2nd February 2023
I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading!