A really real entry!!!!!
So as some of you all know I am dating a wonderful person named Sarina! We just celebrated our 5 month anniversary! We are still going strong and she hasn't gotten on my nerves yet! I can honestly say I have fallen so much in love with her. It is sickening to watch the two of us, we are so sweet and retarded for each other. Oh and here is some tmi for ya! She is AMAZING in bed. Omg her accent *melts* she is from Germany so she has a German accent, which is such a turn on. There are still a lot of issues with me not letting go completely. I haven't trusted another human being 100% in so long it is almost like I have forgotten how. I keep winding up with all these jackasses so I have learned to guard myself and not allow people to get in or to trust. I hate that I am like that because she never has done anything to deserve it. I fear that she will turn out like the rest... Here for whatever service I can provide and then done with me when I can no longer provide it. But, that is not her... that isn't how she is and it is not fair to her nor me to make her pay for other people’s bullshit. I love her so much and would fall apart without her in my life. She is the female version of Dan and we all know that story...lol I believe more than I ever have about anything that she is meant to be with me. I believe she is a huge piece to the puzzle that completes me. I cannot fathom my world without her being a part of it and I don't know how I lived without her before! I guess the cards were right (Carol) marriage is on its way! I say this because her and I have been talking about the future and how we would love to get married one day. When we have the money and our relationship is in the right place! She wants to get engaged!!!!
I have decided to quit the waitress job. I wanted to continue on being a security officer but I hate the hours and locations that they have to offer. So I think I am going to go work at CitiBank. If not there.. there is a kick ass warehouse job that is easy as shit and pays 9 or so. Which is a lot more than I am making currently. So in the long hall it will be better and I can always get something better!
There is an apartment that her and I were going to move into for the longest time but we have since the decided against it. If it is the only choice then we will take it but if there are better options then I will be on them like flies on shit! It isn’t a bad apartment I just don’t like the amount of space we have for the amount of money we would be forking out! It isn’t very big, we would live in an upstairs (above a garage) apartment behind our land lord’s house! Hello no privacy… plus the man is opinionated and a strict bible thumping Christian! He is also Native American, which would be awesome with my whole Pagan beliefs but he is also (as I said before) a Christian. Not all of them are bad but when I meet some one for the first time and they try to tell me what to believe and then “correct” me on my own faith?!?!?! Fuck that! So we are on the hunt for a better place to live. Which will be easy if we both get a job at Citi Bank!!!! That place pays bank and with both of us making that kind of money! Omg!!!!!!
So I am getting a small amount of shrooms for free! I have a friend that is getting a sweet ass deal and she says she doesn’t mind sharing some. Her and I have this thing where when I am running low on pot she helps me out and when she is low on pot I help her out. It is a sweet deal and helps out a lot in times of need. The shrooms however are just a kick ass jester on her part. But it is all good because a bottle of yager (sp) would make her month!
So I was thinking about it the other night and I have concluded that I have to many friends all spreaded out! I have Sara in AZ, Cara in CO, Carol in MO, Dan in ME (lol sounds fucked up), it is nuts... there are to many loved ones forever from me. But it is awesome because one day I will have the money to go see them all. OMG which reminds me! Dan is coming home for Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! Omg I cannot wait. Although Sarina isn't all shits and giggles about it. I don't think she really wants to meet him but I can understand why. However she has nothing to worry about. Dan and I have a past and that is where that stays! Our relationship is one of a kind yes but I would not leave him for her. I cannot be with him sexually and that is soooo important in a realtionship! There are more reasons than that but that is a huge one. Plus I love Sarina and wouldn't do anything to fuck this up.
I have decided to quit the waitress job. I wanted to continue on being a security officer but I hate the hours and locations that they have to offer. So I think I am going to go work at CitiBank. If not there.. there is a kick ass warehouse job that is easy as shit and pays 9 or so. Which is a lot more than I am making currently. So in the long hall it will be better and I can always get something better!
There is an apartment that her and I were going to move into for the longest time but we have since the decided against it. If it is the only choice then we will take it but if there are better options then I will be on them like flies on shit! It isn’t a bad apartment I just don’t like the amount of space we have for the amount of money we would be forking out! It isn’t very big, we would live in an upstairs (above a garage) apartment behind our land lord’s house! Hello no privacy… plus the man is opinionated and a strict bible thumping Christian! He is also Native American, which would be awesome with my whole Pagan beliefs but he is also (as I said before) a Christian. Not all of them are bad but when I meet some one for the first time and they try to tell me what to believe and then “correct” me on my own faith?!?!?! Fuck that! So we are on the hunt for a better place to live. Which will be easy if we both get a job at Citi Bank!!!! That place pays bank and with both of us making that kind of money! Omg!!!!!!
So I am getting a small amount of shrooms for free! I have a friend that is getting a sweet ass deal and she says she doesn’t mind sharing some. Her and I have this thing where when I am running low on pot she helps me out and when she is low on pot I help her out. It is a sweet deal and helps out a lot in times of need. The shrooms however are just a kick ass jester on her part. But it is all good because a bottle of yager (sp) would make her month!
So I was thinking about it the other night and I have concluded that I have to many friends all spreaded out! I have Sara in AZ, Cara in CO, Carol in MO, Dan in ME (lol sounds fucked up), it is nuts... there are to many loved ones forever from me. But it is awesome because one day I will have the money to go see them all. OMG which reminds me! Dan is coming home for Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! Omg I cannot wait. Although Sarina isn't all shits and giggles about it. I don't think she really wants to meet him but I can understand why. However she has nothing to worry about. Dan and I have a past and that is where that stays! Our relationship is one of a kind yes but I would not leave him for her. I cannot be with him sexually and that is soooo important in a realtionship! There are more reasons than that but that is a huge one. Plus I love Sarina and wouldn't do anything to fuck this up.