HE LIVES!
Working for a military project for the F35 Joint Strike Fighter flight critical software definately makes me feel guilty. I am part of team that creates destruction. On the other hand, the software testing I specifically do keeps the plane in flight (and in that spirit, keeping the pilot alive) and all that does is bring up philosophical questions. If you were holding a serial murderer by the hand, off the side of a cliff and he was asking you to pull him up, would you?
How can i be sure the product i spend 50 hours a week working on is going to be used for benevolence and not malevolence?
On the third hand, i really seem to enjoy testing more then all of my coworkers, while i hate development, and they love development. I also have a knack for it. Cat, and Ellie, and Sarah, and my parents always said i was too logical and sometimes take things too literally, but it seems to be exactly what this job is about. Testing is also a field that has a foot in the videogame industry.
City of Villians, speaking of videogames, came out yesterday... and i want it very badly. I dont want to buy it, I dont want it to take away my social life (because i have no free time other then work and social life), and I dont want to be without it. In leave of purchasing it, and in leave of pre-ordering it to get special gifts like posters and stuff, i have been using any information i have about it to try and hone my videogame design ideas to a more professional level.
If i can get into professional game design i will be the happiest kid ever. Tons upon tons of videogames, and tons upon tons of board games or pencil and paper games has given me a lot of ideas of what makes a game good, but its a very small window to get a job in.
I am left with a large amount of contentedness, and a large amount of want. I see so many things everyday i wish i could have, first on the list being a girlfriend, followed by videogames, and a better job, but i also feel very happy with where my life is. I feel like i have more time to reflect and meditate on Buddhist ideal, and how i can be less material, but at the same time i have more money loose cash and therefor have options to buy the things i do have a want for. My life just seems to have the same eXtreme ups and downs that is always has and i really just want to try and remove the things from my life that make me unbalanced.
How can i be sure the product i spend 50 hours a week working on is going to be used for benevolence and not malevolence?
On the third hand, i really seem to enjoy testing more then all of my coworkers, while i hate development, and they love development. I also have a knack for it. Cat, and Ellie, and Sarah, and my parents always said i was too logical and sometimes take things too literally, but it seems to be exactly what this job is about. Testing is also a field that has a foot in the videogame industry.
City of Villians, speaking of videogames, came out yesterday... and i want it very badly. I dont want to buy it, I dont want it to take away my social life (because i have no free time other then work and social life), and I dont want to be without it. In leave of purchasing it, and in leave of pre-ordering it to get special gifts like posters and stuff, i have been using any information i have about it to try and hone my videogame design ideas to a more professional level.
If i can get into professional game design i will be the happiest kid ever. Tons upon tons of videogames, and tons upon tons of board games or pencil and paper games has given me a lot of ideas of what makes a game good, but its a very small window to get a job in.
I am left with a large amount of contentedness, and a large amount of want. I see so many things everyday i wish i could have, first on the list being a girlfriend, followed by videogames, and a better job, but i also feel very happy with where my life is. I feel like i have more time to reflect and meditate on Buddhist ideal, and how i can be less material, but at the same time i have more money loose cash and therefor have options to buy the things i do have a want for. My life just seems to have the same eXtreme ups and downs that is always has and i really just want to try and remove the things from my life that make me unbalanced.