5.04
Alright, then - 5.04 (right? oh god) - The End.
Overall thoughts on the episode:
I have learned: trust Kripke (um?). Sort of. I got everything I wanted, and that happens rarely enough that I was ecstatic (and, really, who cares if it's just teevee). Zachariah being an ass (because I've come to expect, nay, demand it *g*). Dean going back in time (okay, maybe not this one). Bitter!halfway sociopathic!Dean (yay!). Stoner!Cas. Lucifer!Sam (ohmygodohmygod I loved it loved it loved it). And Dean learning a lesson, but you know, not the intended one. Hell, no. The one that says "find Sam and be awesome together," because so there's been talk about taking steps forward and becoming an actualized, independent person. Which is great psychologically speaking for actual people, but - for me - when it comes to fictional characters I've come to adore - well, let's just say the more fucked up and codependent, the better.
Now for slightly more detail (keep in mind that there's no guaranteeing the quality):
Okay, so this was another Dean-centric episode, which kinda made me pull an itty-bitty sad-face for the first 5 seconds, but then I got over it, because awesomeness abounded.
There's Dean at the Century Motel. Cas calling. Cas being adorably awkward ("I'll just...wait here."). Dean sleeping. Phone ringing. SAMSAMSAM. Dean being angsty and stubborn and bizarrely at ease with Lucifer wanting Sam's meatsuit (*snerk*). Oh, wait, that's just him being world-weary and jaded. My bad. "We should just pick a hemisphere." "We're not stronger together." "Whatever's between us - love. Family..." [and, why - inquiring minds want to know - why are those separated, huh? *tinhat*] yaddayaddayadda. Sam begs so prettily, but no. DEAN IS STERN.
Dean wakes up to the end times (yay! title). Freaky girl ("little girl? Little girl?" Um. Kinda pervy there, Dean - and when I say "Dean," I mean writers of Show) with the freaky blood clot and the spitting and the attacking and Dean conking her upside the head (I had a total wtf moment then. Seriously. A kid. huh).
ARMY or REALLY WELL OUTFITTED MILITIA. blamblamblam. Bodies flying, Dean's protecting his head. Night-time and Dean's escaping (?) under a fence. When I saw this scene, I was like "what? wouldn't the army or whatever want to keep him in a safe zone?" And then I had a ha-duh moment and figured out that's probably why he was getting attacked by the chainlink fence. Maybe. Unless I'm totally wrong on that point and he just happened upon a fence and it has no significant meaning. I don't know.
Walking. Walking. Sign--2014. OMG FUTURE EARTH.
IMPALA. I was confused again, here, 'cause I thought Dean had woken up in his battered but still his motel room, which in my mind would put the Impala wherever he last left it, and not in a surprise-but-conveniently-obvious place to find. But, this is the future and nothing is the same. Duh, dime. Jeez. And moving on.
Dean and Impala moment. "Oh, baby, what'd they do to--" CONK. Dean knocked Dean out. OMG what?
Dramatic reveal. Future!Dean meet Past!Dean (or current? whatever. Dean 1.0 and Dean I'll kill every-goddamn-body.0). Ha! Chick's name that I've already forgotten and her silky, pink undies THAT THE DEANS KINDA REALLY LIKED. I'm betting there's gonna be a ton of fic alluding to this little bit of information. Popping up in about...oh...30 seconds *g*
Emotional moment. "Sam?" And Future!Dean alludes to Sammy's downfall in Detroit. Past!Dean is outraged. "You didn't try to find him?" "We hadn't spoken in...oh...five years." UH OH, PAST!DEAN. This is a Moment (tm), so pay attention, buddy.
Future!Dean is the leader of this ragtag bunch of misfits. Also, HI CHUCK. "What do we do, Dean?" "Uh...share?" Future!Dean is apparently a slut (duh). [enter Hot Chick in Inappropriate Clothing for the Apocalypse, a.k.a Risa]. Blah, "we had a connection" (alright, she wasn't that bad a background character, actually). Chuck as a helpful and confused shield. "I'm getting blamed for stuff I haven't done yet." "What?" *why is Dean suddenly crazy...ier? face*
Stoner!Cas. With bonus orgies! AWESOMENESS ABOUNDS.
Mandatory team finds out moment. Blam! Future!Dean kills Guy #1. Past!Dean makes faces and "what the hell are you doing" speeches. This is where we learn new slang - Crotes, because did I forget to mention the CROATOAN thing, you know, that virus from that episode from that earlier season? Yeah, that. Okay, glad to clear the confusion up. So, yeah, Guy #1 got infected; future!Dean neglected to inform said Guy of this, seeing as how he didn't want to give bad news to a "good man"; future!Dean shoots Guy in front of team, because future!Dean knows the Signs, goddammit; killing Crotes is commonplace. However, CLONES ARE NOT, therefore past!Dean just fucked up big time, and now future!Dean goes alpha-dog and pisses a lot (you know, figuratively), and future!Dean will "make the rules," thank you very much.
Mission meeting. Past!Dean is snarky. Future!Dean is grumpy. Cas is giggly and AWESOME. Past!Dean is going, hell yes he is. Cas tells future!Dean that he "likes past you" better. Nananabooboo.
Why is past!Dean going? Because there is something he needs to see (yeah. obviously). But don't you worry, past!Dean. Zach's got your back. What does past!Dean need to see? Well, how about *drumroll*.................
...............HIS BROTHER (AKA TEH SAMMAY).
Past!Dean gives us a vaguely horrified-yet-confused face. "I thought Sam was dead?" Oh, no, you naive past!Dean. He said "yes." "What?" "The big fat" let-Lucy-in yes. And, no, future!Dean doesn't know why - he hadn't seen Sam in years, remember?
Abandoned insane asylum, Somewhere, USA (god forbid I actually pay attention to details). Future!Dean gives orders, and they're (including some people whose names I don't know and Cas) going to roll in 5. Hell, yes.
Past!Dean is concerned, drags future!Dean away and accuses him of lying, because past!Dean is a narcisistic freak who practices his lying!face in the mirror in his downtime. What? He said it. It's canon, dude. Trufax.
Okay, past!Dean. Calm down. Jesus. Future!Dean is only going to get everyone they came with murdered so Deansquared can do their thing. Decoys. Because what helps surivivor's guilt better than, you know, more survivor's guilt. Nothing, is what. And it's END TIMES and Deansquared has failed and all that jazz.
Past!Dean is all "I'd never make those choices," which is true, except for how, according to this, he did. But let's not get caught up in the technicalities (and, anyway, those damn angels. DO NOT TRUST THEM). Past!Dean isn't going to let future!Dean do this. He is summarily conked upside the head.
He wakes up and sees future!Dean on the ground, taken down by a really white, really pointy (at least, that's what my eyes saw, anyway) shoe.
DUMDUMDUM. HI SAM, er, I mean, LUCIFER. He does a very puckery, weird thing with his face that I cringed my way through. Okay. Besides that, HE"S AWESOME. I loved it. He tries to TOUCH DEAN, and Dean has the red, teary eyes o'doom going on and he's all flinchy but needy, too. And Lucifer's all like "I LOVED GOD TOO MUCH, DEAN." [strangely placed RL tangent ===>] And, it's weird, but that notion always kinda hurt my heart a little. 'Cause, you know, sympathy for the devil - oh, my, I will never learn. But, this comes from the girl who quit church as a kid because I thought my pastor believed I was evil or something. Delusions are so cute And moving on.
According to the awesome combo known as Lucifer!Sam, they will always end up in this situation no matter what Dean does. The devil wins. He WINS, DEAN. SO GIVE UP NOW KTHNX. Dean is in severe emotional pain, but he bluffs that Lucifer should kill him now, 'cause Dean? Will end satan, oh yes he will. Which neither Lucifer!Sam nor I bought. It was totally the tear, dude, and, you know, your lying!face that we all know so well. Gave the whole game away.
Zachariah! And his whooshy finger transports past!Dean back into 2009, where he instantly becomes just!Dean. Then comes the round "have you learned your lesson, you brat? Yeah? SAY YES RAWR." And Dean has learned a lesson, but *phhhhhhhhbbbbbbbttttttttt* he ain't no damn fool, so "nah." Zach's gearing up for revenge x 10 to the nth degree (what does that equal out to? stage 4 stomach cancer and anal leakage. That's just my guess, though).
HA! Dean is whooshed again, and Zach. Is. Dumbfounded.
Yay! Cas! Great timing. Cas knew Dean needed to be whooshed because Dean missed their meeting and he got tired of standing on the corner. People were probably propositioning him (hey, orgy?). Dean's almost choked up "don't ever change." Dean dialing. But - who?
Why, Sam, of course. You sillies. Did anyone else see Cas's smirk when Dean's dialing? *waves hand* I DID.
Dean N Sam. Sam N Dean. Hurray. "Achilles heel" speech and yeah, Dean. Angels and demons will use whatever is between you two to their advantage. They would have done so even if you guys were separated, is the thing. So why not make me happy and be tortured and angsty together?
"We're all we have." WHEE. Okay, thanks. *smishes DeanandSam*
THE END