Week Nine Passes...
Last Thursday was the ninth week since Jen died. I've been fairly busy so the last week was not as bad as most of them have been, but I'm not sure if it was because I've gotten better/stronger or just because I was busy. Some of it was basic non-fun stuff that had to be dealt with and some of it was meeting new people like
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Going back to our conversation at Con - I went through the same thing when Joe left. I was *literally* reaching for the pills. What saved me was a delivery of flowers and a small bear from a woman that, while I've known her for years, I've never met in RL. She and several others were my lifeline in the days and weeks right after Joe walked out on me. When I tried to find a way to say 'thanks' and 'how can I ever repay you?', I was told in various ways the same thing by all of them:
Just live. Don't leave us to mourn you.
When the pain fades - and it will eventually fade - let yourself be happy again.
Love. Laugh.
If necessary, be there when we need you - and/or pass it on and be there for someone else.
You want to "repay" us?
Live. When the pain and grief fade some? Laugh. Love. Enjoy life again.
It won't happen tomorrow. Or next week. It may be years (speaking from experience). But it *will* come. We'll be there for you until it does. And after.
I'm glad I saw you at Con. I've wanted to give you that hug for weeks. I'll call you tomorrow afternoon if you don't mind - want to talk about meeting up a bit sooner than next year's Con.
*hug*
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Yes, please feel free to call me tomorrow; it would be nice to talk to you. I think I gave you my home number (as well as my cell). I have one or two errands to run tomorrow, but I will be home for the rest of the day. If I don't pick up, just please leave me a message and I will call you back.
It was nice to see you again at BASCon. Talk to you later today.
-Robert
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