this blows
so ive wrote about 4 entries and deleted alll of them. i have so many things to say but its things that shouldnt be read especially by ne person. thats the only thing i hate about livejournal is that most people read you thoughts. and somtimes you want to be heard and you want peole to relate but i dont. in thiese many entries ive wrote and erased, i want to say many hurtful things about him about e and about us. the feelings i have right now are so negative and confusing. i want o cry and scream and kill somobody just typing this. i feel like i shouldnt be with you anymore. i feel like our relationship is just falling each new day. i think i feel like this because i feel so alone in this relationship. usually when youre in love with somone they finish your sentences and yopu laugh at the same jokes and you love doing things together. not us. we are so opposite its pathetic. how can we love eachother? i hate myself every time i sa these like this. i feel so guilty that im not happy all the time. i feel like im betraying him bc i think i dont love him. i think im riuing our relationship everytime i try to say something that will make us closer. i feel horrible because im thinking and wriing this on the night before your birthday. i feel like i dont wamnt to be there with you. i dont know how we can fix me or you pr us. i ate me.