(no subject)
i discovered today that im a busy little bee inside. im always thinking about screwing up and not getting things done or getting them done on time. im a little time box in my head, full of dates and deadlines. im the person who writes down everything, makes lists for how they plan their day, and timers telling me how late i am. im the kind of person who doesnt forget their homework or someones birthday or even that i need to eat or shower. im so lost in my "routines" that i DO forget to be a kid. i forget that its okay to have fun, to go out and drink and party and get high. i forget to call my friends to tell them i miss them. i forget to tell my boyfriend how much i love him and to tell my parents that im glad their so cool. i forget to live.
honestly, if i had to "label" myself...i would describe myself as being a very well rounded teenager, the daughter people wish they had, the girlfriend everyone wants. but i dont think all those things truely describe me...i think i want to be described that way. i love when people tell me i ahve all my shit together and that one day ill have an amazing career becasue i worked so hard from a young age. id do anything to be a work-oholic and have nothing tying me down. i want to a "a very collected and intelligent human being. but how can you be something youre not. its like a fat girl wanting to be the best cheerleader in the state or the shortest man trying to be the best dunker. yeah its possible but what 1 out of 1 million. shit ill never be that lucky. ever.
honestly, if i had to "label" myself...i would describe myself as being a very well rounded teenager, the daughter people wish they had, the girlfriend everyone wants. but i dont think all those things truely describe me...i think i want to be described that way. i love when people tell me i ahve all my shit together and that one day ill have an amazing career becasue i worked so hard from a young age. id do anything to be a work-oholic and have nothing tying me down. i want to a "a very collected and intelligent human being. but how can you be something youre not. its like a fat girl wanting to be the best cheerleader in the state or the shortest man trying to be the best dunker. yeah its possible but what 1 out of 1 million. shit ill never be that lucky. ever.