Jealousy rears its fugly head
Yes i do get jealous sometimes. Its annoying because i tell myself its ok n that my time will come,one day hopefully. But turning 26 just 2 weeks back make me feel anxious.
I get these longing feeling of wanting a kid of my own. Yeah! Unbelievable right??!! I myself cant believe it. Its just the thought of going home n seeing ur kid who's waiting fr u, someone u can shower ur love to, someone who u can cuddle n teach things. A being that you can nurture n raise. Ahhh man...i tink its the motherly instinct coming out.
But seriously, i want to have a sense of belonging,my own family. Unfortunately a husband is not in the equation. I thought of it but its just a passing thought. I see dads who carry their kids and i go awwww but thats it. Isit because the men in our family are useless? Yes, thats one of the contributing factor.
I need a man who can lead. Someone who i can trust n depend on. Not a person who I have to tell what to do or ask when he's gona give the monthly household expenses. Thats just tiring.
Anyway back to babies, even though im not that great with kids unlike the maknae, i'd love to have a kid soon. I babysit my nephew n i cant help but miss him more when he goes home. Is this feeling just a phase? Sigh. But i know i have to find a partner soon. Im already 26 n even though ppl keep saying i look 18, my internal clock is ticking.
But what if a adopt a kid? Thing is my savings are like wavering n i always work late. How do i take care of a kid when i cant manage myself? Urghhhh...what a dilemma.
I get these longing feeling of wanting a kid of my own. Yeah! Unbelievable right??!! I myself cant believe it. Its just the thought of going home n seeing ur kid who's waiting fr u, someone u can shower ur love to, someone who u can cuddle n teach things. A being that you can nurture n raise. Ahhh man...i tink its the motherly instinct coming out.
But seriously, i want to have a sense of belonging,my own family. Unfortunately a husband is not in the equation. I thought of it but its just a passing thought. I see dads who carry their kids and i go awwww but thats it. Isit because the men in our family are useless? Yes, thats one of the contributing factor.
I need a man who can lead. Someone who i can trust n depend on. Not a person who I have to tell what to do or ask when he's gona give the monthly household expenses. Thats just tiring.
Anyway back to babies, even though im not that great with kids unlike the maknae, i'd love to have a kid soon. I babysit my nephew n i cant help but miss him more when he goes home. Is this feeling just a phase? Sigh. But i know i have to find a partner soon. Im already 26 n even though ppl keep saying i look 18, my internal clock is ticking.
But what if a adopt a kid? Thing is my savings are like wavering n i always work late. How do i take care of a kid when i cant manage myself? Urghhhh...what a dilemma.