(no subject)
The theme of this journal entry originated from Abbey's refusal to accept my futuristic reality... Enjoy!
Journal Entry #423, January 11, 2042:
As I slowly awoke from my 12 hour slumber I discovered that I was late for work. Oh Dear! But then I relized I was the boss and I could come in at what ever time I wanted. Putting these thoughts aside I jumped onto my segway and took the 9 minute pilgrimage down the halls of my house to my kitchen. As I arrived in my kitchen my servant Adam was there to prepare my breakfast. "21 pancakes!" I'd say to him... But today was different. Adam decided that he didnt want to cook. Begin the generous friend and professional buisnessman that I was I decided that I better let him have the day off, to you know, to blow off steam. But, because not working is in violation of the Dillon Servent Life Pact I shot him.
I got dress and proceeded to head off to work. I took the elevator down to the ground floor today; because the slide was out of commision. As I said goodbye to my house I hit the down button. I watched as I departed from my house, which hovered over the ruins of Manhattan, due to the fact that in 2020 I became rich enough to buy the entire island and totaly demolish it, sending all the workers into my acid mines which ironicaly I built in place of old buildings and filled with acid. As I reached the ground I took a few paces to my office complex. The usual bum was sitting outside waiting to kiss ass for money. Pat tried to open the door for me as I approached the building but I immediantly called security on him before he could complete his innocent gesture. I quicky noded at the guards to take Pat away. As I reached the door I heard a loud gun shot. I remembered that it took two nods to have the guards take a prisoner away and one to have them killed; Woops!
Buisness is hard and today was no exception. Apparntly I had not reached my quota of fuzzy chipmonk puppets and I needed more on the double. I decided to call in the big guns. I sent slavemaster Zach into my labor camps in China to see if he could pick up the slack. All seemed well until 1 hours later when Zach called and reported that he had killed his entire labor force. 34,000 children dead within the hour. I began to question Zach's persuasion skills. I called Zach into my office and set up a diorama to find out how he approached this problem. I asked him to demonstrate how he had gone about bringing up moral in the work place. His first action was taking off the little boy figurine's pants. I gave him a swift dragon-kick and sent him flying out an open window, plummeting 2400 feet to his death.
Killing people was fun! I swiftly took out my .44 magnum and fired sparaticaly into the work place. To my chagrin I only killed one person. An intern by the name of Katie-Jo. She had been interning at the local Panda Express to become a cashier. I felt bad because I hadnt given her a chance so I dumped her body into the revive-o-matic machine and brough her back to life. This, however, was short lived. Ironicaly, soon after I left her a rabid panda attacked and killed her, while she was working at Panda Express.
The day was almost over when my finacial advisor approached me. I didnt even have to see her, I could feel the evil seep into the room as she came closer. I hid under my desk to avoid detection. She paused, then began to talk. I was traped! She knew I could never hold up fort against her constant nagging. Hours passed as I sat there listening to her. I decided to give myself up. "Please ABBEY! No more!" She looked at me and continued to talk. I knew this wasnt going to end well, so i body slammed her into a nearby snow bank. She got up and tried to hit me; I quickly moved out of the way as she stummbled over to the open window. Abbey was on the edge of falling out as I had hoped. But to my surprise she didnt. So I rammed her out the window and body slammed her into Zach's corpse, 2400 feet worth of force.
As I walked back into the office I received a phone call from one of my labor camps. Apparently, they had taken it upon themselfs to pick up the slack. But now I needed to find a way to get the product back to the US. I ran over to Princess Kate's Imports and Exports to see if she could deliver it. I walked into her palace only to find the weirdest stuff. A man encased in carbonite to my left and Kate, who was chained to this woman on the right. I began to talk to Kate which ended in confusion due to the fact that she kept talking about this "Han-Solo" fella. Then she ate a frog. This was getting weird so I demanded that she ship my products. She explained to me that she didnt have the docking protocol for her battleship and it would take a few days to get it. Apparently, it was quite the big battleship. I grew tired of talking to her so I hucked a cinderblock at her, killing her instantly.
I harvested everyones' soul and went to bed. THE END
See Abbey, it will come true!
Journal Entry #423, January 11, 2042:
As I slowly awoke from my 12 hour slumber I discovered that I was late for work. Oh Dear! But then I relized I was the boss and I could come in at what ever time I wanted. Putting these thoughts aside I jumped onto my segway and took the 9 minute pilgrimage down the halls of my house to my kitchen. As I arrived in my kitchen my servant Adam was there to prepare my breakfast. "21 pancakes!" I'd say to him... But today was different. Adam decided that he didnt want to cook. Begin the generous friend and professional buisnessman that I was I decided that I better let him have the day off, to you know, to blow off steam. But, because not working is in violation of the Dillon Servent Life Pact I shot him.
I got dress and proceeded to head off to work. I took the elevator down to the ground floor today; because the slide was out of commision. As I said goodbye to my house I hit the down button. I watched as I departed from my house, which hovered over the ruins of Manhattan, due to the fact that in 2020 I became rich enough to buy the entire island and totaly demolish it, sending all the workers into my acid mines which ironicaly I built in place of old buildings and filled with acid. As I reached the ground I took a few paces to my office complex. The usual bum was sitting outside waiting to kiss ass for money. Pat tried to open the door for me as I approached the building but I immediantly called security on him before he could complete his innocent gesture. I quicky noded at the guards to take Pat away. As I reached the door I heard a loud gun shot. I remembered that it took two nods to have the guards take a prisoner away and one to have them killed; Woops!
Buisness is hard and today was no exception. Apparntly I had not reached my quota of fuzzy chipmonk puppets and I needed more on the double. I decided to call in the big guns. I sent slavemaster Zach into my labor camps in China to see if he could pick up the slack. All seemed well until 1 hours later when Zach called and reported that he had killed his entire labor force. 34,000 children dead within the hour. I began to question Zach's persuasion skills. I called Zach into my office and set up a diorama to find out how he approached this problem. I asked him to demonstrate how he had gone about bringing up moral in the work place. His first action was taking off the little boy figurine's pants. I gave him a swift dragon-kick and sent him flying out an open window, plummeting 2400 feet to his death.
Killing people was fun! I swiftly took out my .44 magnum and fired sparaticaly into the work place. To my chagrin I only killed one person. An intern by the name of Katie-Jo. She had been interning at the local Panda Express to become a cashier. I felt bad because I hadnt given her a chance so I dumped her body into the revive-o-matic machine and brough her back to life. This, however, was short lived. Ironicaly, soon after I left her a rabid panda attacked and killed her, while she was working at Panda Express.
The day was almost over when my finacial advisor approached me. I didnt even have to see her, I could feel the evil seep into the room as she came closer. I hid under my desk to avoid detection. She paused, then began to talk. I was traped! She knew I could never hold up fort against her constant nagging. Hours passed as I sat there listening to her. I decided to give myself up. "Please ABBEY! No more!" She looked at me and continued to talk. I knew this wasnt going to end well, so i body slammed her into a nearby snow bank. She got up and tried to hit me; I quickly moved out of the way as she stummbled over to the open window. Abbey was on the edge of falling out as I had hoped. But to my surprise she didnt. So I rammed her out the window and body slammed her into Zach's corpse, 2400 feet worth of force.
As I walked back into the office I received a phone call from one of my labor camps. Apparently, they had taken it upon themselfs to pick up the slack. But now I needed to find a way to get the product back to the US. I ran over to Princess Kate's Imports and Exports to see if she could deliver it. I walked into her palace only to find the weirdest stuff. A man encased in carbonite to my left and Kate, who was chained to this woman on the right. I began to talk to Kate which ended in confusion due to the fact that she kept talking about this "Han-Solo" fella. Then she ate a frog. This was getting weird so I demanded that she ship my products. She explained to me that she didnt have the docking protocol for her battleship and it would take a few days to get it. Apparently, it was quite the big battleship. I grew tired of talking to her so I hucked a cinderblock at her, killing her instantly.
I harvested everyones' soul and went to bed. THE END
See Abbey, it will come true!