Black and White
So I have never been as confused in my entire exsistence as i am right now
My acting class is beating me to a pulp. I mean i've had so great moments with my partner in that room. Like some stuff has just gone uber well. But today Richard ripped one of my friends a new one. I mean tore her to pieces, when in all honesty i thought that she was doing pretty decent work. Seriously, there's been some ppl that i WISH he had ripped a new one, but on this day he chose to single ou Juls. So anyway he starts off on this spat about how she can't be satified doing musical comedy all her life and has to learn to do work that satifies her soul. I mean he's blunt but this was to the extreme.
So i decided to be brave and go after her with my activity (the activity that everyone said as a brilliant idea and he would love it). Well, he didn't. Now he DID say it was a brave attempt but i "wasn't fully related' to it. If i hear that phrase one more time i might have a stroke. He just condtradics every direction he gives and i am beyond lost now. Just makes me more determined.
Okay, so moving on to the other thing occupying my mind, here goes nothing. The guy that i thought i actually might have a chance with, yeah well scratch that plan. Why you ask? Oh well because i'm laura baker, eternal confidad and best friend to every guy whether she likes it or not.
So basically, i thought everything was peachy keen until i discovered McPerfect in turmoil at a party. And being the dumbass that i am i sit next to him. You know that moment where u really want to ask whats wrong but know that everyone has asked at this point so the person u want to ask is on the verge of strangling the next person that asks that? Well i was having that moment. So i just sat next to him and didn't say a word. And he leaned into me and spilled his guts....about the fact that he really liked this girl (who just happens to be one of new dearest friends) and had just caught her drunk and being taken advantage of by another guy. So i listen. And i give advice...because that's what i do best, right?
Well that hurts enough, but then the next day the girl he likes confides in me the reason why she is really messed up with relationships. And its the same reason that i'm messed up. And we bond over it. Truely. I love her even more now that shes told me. Not five mins after she leaves McPerfect walks in. Kinda be a fluke we end up talking about the whole situation. And we procceed to have a two hour conversation about life, love and girl he adores.
Everything is so black and white for him. Its like he has everything figured out. And its all so easy. Even though he claims otherwise. I wish it were hat easy.
He talked about her and how she just cant talk to him about her relationship problem. And i lended an ear and we conflicted on some stuff, but i gave him her point of view without betraying he confidence ot course. But in the back of my mind all i could think was "it sounds like he's talking about me."
Fuck. That has to be the most selfish thing in the world to think when a friend in need in confiding in you.
So i have been blindsided into a pickle. And now i'm stuck there.
What do i do?
Do i tell him how i feel?
Do i betray her trust?
Do i risk all of our friendships?
No.
Because thats not me. I always do the right thing, no matter how much it hurts. And boy does it hurt this time. I again suppress my feelings for the sake of the ppl i love.
Its a silly thing and i'm sure im making a big deal out of nothing. But i get tired of supressing my own feelings just to "do the right thing."
Its not black and white.
Its all a grey area.
My acting class is beating me to a pulp. I mean i've had so great moments with my partner in that room. Like some stuff has just gone uber well. But today Richard ripped one of my friends a new one. I mean tore her to pieces, when in all honesty i thought that she was doing pretty decent work. Seriously, there's been some ppl that i WISH he had ripped a new one, but on this day he chose to single ou Juls. So anyway he starts off on this spat about how she can't be satified doing musical comedy all her life and has to learn to do work that satifies her soul. I mean he's blunt but this was to the extreme.
So i decided to be brave and go after her with my activity (the activity that everyone said as a brilliant idea and he would love it). Well, he didn't. Now he DID say it was a brave attempt but i "wasn't fully related' to it. If i hear that phrase one more time i might have a stroke. He just condtradics every direction he gives and i am beyond lost now. Just makes me more determined.
Okay, so moving on to the other thing occupying my mind, here goes nothing. The guy that i thought i actually might have a chance with, yeah well scratch that plan. Why you ask? Oh well because i'm laura baker, eternal confidad and best friend to every guy whether she likes it or not.
So basically, i thought everything was peachy keen until i discovered McPerfect in turmoil at a party. And being the dumbass that i am i sit next to him. You know that moment where u really want to ask whats wrong but know that everyone has asked at this point so the person u want to ask is on the verge of strangling the next person that asks that? Well i was having that moment. So i just sat next to him and didn't say a word. And he leaned into me and spilled his guts....about the fact that he really liked this girl (who just happens to be one of new dearest friends) and had just caught her drunk and being taken advantage of by another guy. So i listen. And i give advice...because that's what i do best, right?
Well that hurts enough, but then the next day the girl he likes confides in me the reason why she is really messed up with relationships. And its the same reason that i'm messed up. And we bond over it. Truely. I love her even more now that shes told me. Not five mins after she leaves McPerfect walks in. Kinda be a fluke we end up talking about the whole situation. And we procceed to have a two hour conversation about life, love and girl he adores.
Everything is so black and white for him. Its like he has everything figured out. And its all so easy. Even though he claims otherwise. I wish it were hat easy.
He talked about her and how she just cant talk to him about her relationship problem. And i lended an ear and we conflicted on some stuff, but i gave him her point of view without betraying he confidence ot course. But in the back of my mind all i could think was "it sounds like he's talking about me."
Fuck. That has to be the most selfish thing in the world to think when a friend in need in confiding in you.
So i have been blindsided into a pickle. And now i'm stuck there.
What do i do?
Do i tell him how i feel?
Do i betray her trust?
Do i risk all of our friendships?
No.
Because thats not me. I always do the right thing, no matter how much it hurts. And boy does it hurt this time. I again suppress my feelings for the sake of the ppl i love.
Its a silly thing and i'm sure im making a big deal out of nothing. But i get tired of supressing my own feelings just to "do the right thing."
Its not black and white.
Its all a grey area.