I hate these calls...

May 19, 2010 17:36

I am not the most confident artist right now, well, I finally get past my own doubts and start to draw, literally 5 minutes in, I get one of those "pick up your portfolio" calls, and I stop drawing and start doubting myself again. They could have given me an hour of feeling good about myself couldn't they? No, I suppose not.

I wasn't going to pick up the phone when I saw the number, I know that number is from the studio... but the optimist in me thought "Maybe they are calling to give me a storyboard test? Maybe?"... that'll teach me! Should've let it go to voicemail and kept on drawing in ignorant bliss. It's now been three hours, and I still can't draw, so I scanned in some sketchbook pages.

Note: While writing this, my mom calls "Hi, I just want to see how you are doing. Have you heard anything from any studios?" I said "Yeah, nothing good, I have to go pick up my portfolio cause they have no work for me." She says "Oh... ok, well, I just wanted to know how you were doing, bye." Haha... that's not wanting to know how I am! That is just calling to see if I have a job yet... very different.

Below is some art that makes me feel good. I drew these pages mostly while watching "Ken Burns National Parks" documentary (nnd some House MD). Man, that doc makes me want to uproot and leave on a tour of the US. I remember a college professor once asking us what we wanted to do with our lives, and he said to think of it this way "If you had 100$ or 200$ million, you didn't have to worry about money, what would you do with yourself?" Many people answered "I would make an independent movie" or "I would draw a comic and publish it" or something along those lines... I now know, I would not draw comics or anything like that, I would just pick up all my gear and tour the world, see the most beautiful things there are to see. I am sure I would keep drawing, but I wouldn't draw with the stress of having to perform.



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