11 Months and counting
How long is too long to wait before you finally give up waiting on someone to keep a promise, and start calling that unfulfilled promise a lie?
As of today, I have waited for exactly 11 long months for someone to keep a promise that they made to me last Summer. A very special promise that was to be shared in a very special and intimate way between the two of us. And the longer I wait, the more heart broken I feel in realizing that this person, who I love and care for so very much, hasn't cared enough about me to keep that promise. As each month ticks by, I'm convinced that they never intended to keep the promise, and that it was all just a cruel manipulation to get something they wanted at that moment in time.
As each long weekend, or date night approaches, I get my hopes up and wonder if this will finally be the time. Then the opportunity passes, and I realize that I'm just a fool for even hoping.
It's very hurtful to have someone promise you something and never keep that promise. It stings all the more, when they promise you something that is dear and intimate to you, and that you have wanted very much for a long time, and then they blow it off as if it was absolutley nothing. It hurts worst of all to have something that is important to you so completely ignored and brushed aside by someone you love; especially since they were the ones to promise it to you in the first place, and then simply "forget." Forget? Or... hope that if they ignore it long enough, your hopes and feelings will just go away?
It's broken promises like this that makes a person have seriously doubts when you say "I love you," and they respond I love you too. Are those words as hollow as the promise they made and never kept?
But, I'm a sad sucker in life. It's been 11 months, and I still keep waiting. I'll tick off the days on the calendar, hoping that soon.... maybe soon.... or, just maybe at all.
I remember that on the day she proposed our bargain (a pool in exchange for a seductive barberette for 90 days worth of sex, fun, and sexy head shavings twice a week without me having to ask) that I was a tad bit sad that I only had a mere two months (56 days) worth of hair re-growth, since I had last gotten a shaved high-n-tight on April 21st. I never would have dared a guess that 334 days later, I'd be even sadder because I would have 7 1/2" of grown out hair on top of my head that I can't GET her to cut. Especially after we'd had such a big and drawn out discussion about the whole situation, and each other's feelings and perspectives about how she had not yet fulfilled her promise, three months later in September. Here we are, 8 months after she promised to keep her portion of the bargain, and we haven't even started day one.
We should have met the 90 day bargain point, and instead of me writing about this same old sad song month after month, I'd be asking her if she wanted to make some kind of new deal for this summer. Like, a summer of high-n-tight haircuts on my head, in exchange for "mini skirt and make up" (on her, not me) date nights every third weekend; with me planning to take her somewhere nice (not just a dinner and a movie). I'd have gone for that. I've still been waiting since September 12th for her to wear the leather mini skirt I bought her from Lane Bryant.
At this point, I'm well over 2/3 of the way to having a ponytail grown back. I've passed the hardest hump in the grow out phase, and my hair is starting to have some manageability to it again. I'm actually having as many, if not more, good hair days than I am having bad hair days. (Of course, I should be having "no hair" days)
My bangs extend well past the crown of my head, and I only need about three more month's of growth to get them to stay in a small ponytail at the back of my head. By the end of this year, I will be able to get all of my hair into a ponytail holder, and have it stay with a little bit of coaxing. By this time, next year, that ponytail will be hanging from the back of my head all the way back down to my shirt collar.
It's hard to believe that next Sunday (June 2nd) will be the 10 year anniversary of the first time I ever let Karen shave my head bald. Leading up to that day, we had talked about it for a long time; and I remember how excited and eager she was to participate and share this fetish fantasy with me that day. It was really something special to share that moment with her.
Now, ten years later, I can't even get her to acknowledge my desires to share it with her again, even after she's the one that made a promise to do it for me.
As of today, I have waited for exactly 11 long months for someone to keep a promise that they made to me last Summer. A very special promise that was to be shared in a very special and intimate way between the two of us. And the longer I wait, the more heart broken I feel in realizing that this person, who I love and care for so very much, hasn't cared enough about me to keep that promise. As each month ticks by, I'm convinced that they never intended to keep the promise, and that it was all just a cruel manipulation to get something they wanted at that moment in time.
As each long weekend, or date night approaches, I get my hopes up and wonder if this will finally be the time. Then the opportunity passes, and I realize that I'm just a fool for even hoping.
It's very hurtful to have someone promise you something and never keep that promise. It stings all the more, when they promise you something that is dear and intimate to you, and that you have wanted very much for a long time, and then they blow it off as if it was absolutley nothing. It hurts worst of all to have something that is important to you so completely ignored and brushed aside by someone you love; especially since they were the ones to promise it to you in the first place, and then simply "forget." Forget? Or... hope that if they ignore it long enough, your hopes and feelings will just go away?
It's broken promises like this that makes a person have seriously doubts when you say "I love you," and they respond I love you too. Are those words as hollow as the promise they made and never kept?
But, I'm a sad sucker in life. It's been 11 months, and I still keep waiting. I'll tick off the days on the calendar, hoping that soon.... maybe soon.... or, just maybe at all.
I remember that on the day she proposed our bargain (a pool in exchange for a seductive barberette for 90 days worth of sex, fun, and sexy head shavings twice a week without me having to ask) that I was a tad bit sad that I only had a mere two months (56 days) worth of hair re-growth, since I had last gotten a shaved high-n-tight on April 21st. I never would have dared a guess that 334 days later, I'd be even sadder because I would have 7 1/2" of grown out hair on top of my head that I can't GET her to cut. Especially after we'd had such a big and drawn out discussion about the whole situation, and each other's feelings and perspectives about how she had not yet fulfilled her promise, three months later in September. Here we are, 8 months after she promised to keep her portion of the bargain, and we haven't even started day one.
We should have met the 90 day bargain point, and instead of me writing about this same old sad song month after month, I'd be asking her if she wanted to make some kind of new deal for this summer. Like, a summer of high-n-tight haircuts on my head, in exchange for "mini skirt and make up" (on her, not me) date nights every third weekend; with me planning to take her somewhere nice (not just a dinner and a movie). I'd have gone for that. I've still been waiting since September 12th for her to wear the leather mini skirt I bought her from Lane Bryant.
At this point, I'm well over 2/3 of the way to having a ponytail grown back. I've passed the hardest hump in the grow out phase, and my hair is starting to have some manageability to it again. I'm actually having as many, if not more, good hair days than I am having bad hair days. (Of course, I should be having "no hair" days)
My bangs extend well past the crown of my head, and I only need about three more month's of growth to get them to stay in a small ponytail at the back of my head. By the end of this year, I will be able to get all of my hair into a ponytail holder, and have it stay with a little bit of coaxing. By this time, next year, that ponytail will be hanging from the back of my head all the way back down to my shirt collar.
It's hard to believe that next Sunday (June 2nd) will be the 10 year anniversary of the first time I ever let Karen shave my head bald. Leading up to that day, we had talked about it for a long time; and I remember how excited and eager she was to participate and share this fetish fantasy with me that day. It was really something special to share that moment with her.
Now, ten years later, I can't even get her to acknowledge my desires to share it with her again, even after she's the one that made a promise to do it for me.